of you must know deep down that I wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case. I mean, I could totally understand you thinking this to be some kind of bullshit, but it’s not. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, it’s not. I’m backed into a corner and I’ve literally nowhere else to turn.
‘So what I’m here to ask you, to get to the point, is whether you could possibly look after Mia while I get this mess fixed. Above all else, I want her to be safe and, well, I can’t think of a safer place for her to be than here. I realise you hardly know her, or her you. I take full responsibility for that. But … you’re family.’
Diane continued talking, but Hannah didn’t listen to the rest. She was too busy trying to absorb what she’d just heard. It was almost an anticlimax after what she’d been expecting, and yet it was also huge.
Her long-lost sister was essentially begging them to take in her pride and joy: the child Hannah had always secretly envied her having; the niece she’d mourned the loss of; the teenager with whom she’d so far struggled to bond. Wow. She really hadn’t seen this coming.
It was actually flattering that Diane found this the safest place to leave her. But why here and not with their father or one of the friends she must have made during her time in self-imposed exile? And what was this trouble she’d got herself into that she couldn’t discuss?
‘You’re both very quiet,’ Diane said, pulling Hannah back into the moment. ‘What do you think?’
‘Um.’ She looked over at her husband. ‘I think it’s something we’ll need to discuss privately, right, Mark?’
He nodded. ‘Definitely. And I’m sure you have a few questions, Hannah, because I know I do. This has obviously come as quite a surprise.’
‘Sure,’ Hannah replied, her mind already a whirr of thoughts, examining the ins and outs of having her niece coming to holiday with them.
Although some of the practicalities were of concern, such as how she’d find a way to bond with Mia and whether it would affect her writing schedule, on balance she actually felt pretty excited about the idea.
Mark was staring at her, an expectant look upon his face, so she indicated that he should fire away with his own questions first.
‘Well,’ he said, appearing a bit thrown by this, ‘for a start I was wondering when you were thinking of. We were considering taking a couple of last-minute trips away this summer, so there’s that to bear in mind. Also, how long are we talking about: a few days; a week? Obviously, it would be nice to have some kind of idea about that.’
Mark cleared his throat. ‘And as for this mess you say you’ve got yourself into, it’s all very vague. It’s not going to result in any, er, problems landing at our door, is it?’ He blushed, hesitating before adding: ‘Um, don’t get me wrong, I’m not referring to Mia as a problem. What I mean is … I’m simply concerned one or both of you might be in some kind of danger.’
Mark nudged Hannah at this point – a gesture obviously meant as a request for her support. But all she could manage was to nod her head and say: ‘Yes, quite.’
Hannah wasn’t surprised by his questions. They were very practical and a far better reflection of his views on children than his successful chat with Mia earlier might have indicated. Clearly the idea of their niece staying alone with them for any amount of time concerned him. This was no surprise to Hannah. Mark wasn’t into kids. He’d been that way for as long as she’d known him. He wasn’t particularly interested in them and he’d never wanted one of his own.
To be fair, this was something he’d made clear to Hannah from an early stage in their relationship. At that point she had hoped to have a family one day and, naively perhaps, thought she’d eventually be able to persuade him otherwise. But as they’d got to know each other better and moved from dating to living together, with marriage becoming a possibility, Mark had re-emphasised that having children wasn’t something he ever wanted.
She still remembered what he’d said to her during one particularly intense conversation, which had proved to be a crossroads event in her life. She’d been twenty-four at the time. It was a frosty January night in Didsbury, south Manchester, where they’d been living then. They’d been out for dinner at an unremarkable Italian restaurant that no longer existed and, having shared a couple of bottles of red, their talk on the way home had turned serious.
‘You know how much I love you, don’t you?’ Mark had said, squeezing her hand through her leather glove.
‘Of course,’ she’d replied, leaning over to plant a kiss on his cheek. ‘Me too.’
‘Well, because of that I need to say something, before it’s too late.’
These words had made Hannah’s heart stand still. She’d felt a sudden sense of panic rise up in her chest. ‘That sounds scary,’ she’d replied in a small voice, fearing that Mark was about to break up with her.
‘Sorry. It’s about kids. It’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve told you already I don’t want to have them, but before we take things to the next level, I need you to understand that I absolutely mean it. It’s just … I don’t really get children and I don’t want to be responsible for bringing another life into this world. I’m one hundred per cent serious – and I’m afraid that’s never going to change.
‘The thing is, Han, that I know you would like a family. And because I love you so much, I can’t let you stay with me thinking I’ll be able to give you that. I won’t. So as much as it would break my heart to lose you, I’m giving you a get-out-of-jail-free card. I don’t want to be the one who stops you getting what you want out of life.’
The conversation had continued for a while, and much soul-searching on Hannah’s part had followed it. During this difficult period, she focused on the fact that she’d never felt anything close to the love she did for Mark for anyone else before. She simply couldn’t imagine a life without him, as her recent panic at the prospect of being dumped had demonstrated. Plus there were solid reasons for Mark’s standpoint, rooted in his past and a tragedy that had ripped his family apart. So ultimately Hannah had decided their relationship was worth the sacrifice.
A few days after she’d told him this, he proposed, and the following year they were married.
Since then, there had been a few private regrets along the way – particularly when, out of the blue and with no father on the scene, Diane had announced she was pregnant with Mia. However, for the most part, Hannah hadn’t looked back. She and Mark still had a wonderful relationship; they enjoyed the kind of varied, glamorous, spontaneous lifestyle that only a childless couple of their age could.
It was this her husband was keen to protect, she assumed, with his queries about the details of Diane’s request. But despite her antagonism towards her sister, Hannah was feeling increasingly excited at the prospect of Mia coming to stay. What could be the harm in it?
Diane was just about holding things together. In answer to Mark’s questions, after wiping her eyes again and then blowing her nose, she said: ‘I, um, was hoping you might be able to take Mia right away. It shouldn’t be too long until I get things sorted: hopefully only a few days. And, no, there’s no chance of any danger, as you put it, following us here. You’ve nothing to be concerned about.’
‘What about you?’ Hannah asked her. ‘Are you going to be all right?’
‘I’m a big girl.
