Not for everyone, though. She will find out about that later.
But for now she is happy. The weird thing with Facebook has gone away. It is still a worry, of course it is, but at least it has stopped. It’s like a rainstorm you drive through: once it’s behind you, it’s still there, but in the rearview mirror. It is receding. A shadow. No longer a problem.
But it can come back. The weather can change. The wind can switch direction. So you better not take your eye off of it for too long.
But people do. It is what she will do. It is natural. The strange thing happens, the surface of the pond is disturbed, but then the ripples vanish, and the water settles and all trace of them is gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
But whatever caused them is still there, under the black water. Maybe a long way away, deep and safe.
Or maybe just below the surface …
So she is enjoying her beach day with her loving family. The family at the center of her life. The family she does it all for.
The family she barely deserves.
The family she will lose.
Sarah was finishing a quick coffee in the break room at work when her phone rang. It was Anne, her college friend. She was due to see a patient in a few minutes, but she picked up the phone.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘How are you? I have an appointment coming up, so I can’t talk for too long.’
‘I’m good,’ Anne said. ‘Enjoying summer. It’s been lovely up here.’
‘Up here’ was Burlington, Vermont, where Anne was a high-school science teacher. She was married to her college boyfriend, Don; they’d had kids early. Melanie, who was ten, and Parker, who was eight.
‘I wish I had your holidays,’ Sarah said. ‘It must be amazing.’
‘Mel’s at her first sleep-away camp this week, and Parker’s always with his buddies, biking round the neighborhood. Don’s working, so I have a lot of alone time.’
‘God, stop. You’re making me jealous.’
‘It is nice,’ Anne said. ‘But I do miss the days when summer was me and the kids hanging out by the lake or in the backyard. It feels like they’re growing up too fast. In eight years we’ll be dropping Mel off at college. I’m already traumatized by the mere thought of it.’
‘I know. It goes so fast.’
‘Anyway, I was chatting to Toni yesterday. She paid us a visit.’
Sarah couldn’t help the small twinge of resentment that flared at the news Toni and Anne had got together without her; without even informing her. She wouldn’t have been able to go, but it would have been nice to have the option. It was stupid, she knew, but it did feel as though she had been left out.
‘Oh,’ Sarah said. ‘I spoke to her the other day.’
‘She mentioned it. She told me about the weird Facebook thing. Is everything OK?’
‘Yeah,’ Sarah said. ‘I think so. The account has gone now.’
‘Right,’ Anne said. ‘I was wondering where it was. I had a look, and I couldn’t find it.’
‘I think it may have been some kind of Facebook error,’ Sarah said. ‘They have access to so much of your data, who knows what can happen? I was going to send them a note to ask, although I’ll probably never get around to it.’ She glanced at the clock on the wall. ‘I have to go, but it was great to talk to you. I’ll call you one evening?’
‘OK. And let’s get together this summer. It’s been too long.’
‘Way too long,’ Sarah said. ‘We’ll find a date.’
She cut the connection and put her phone in her bag. As she did it buzzed. It was a text message from Carla, a friend with a son and daughter who Sarah had used to hang out with often. She didn’t see her as much since Miles and Ricky, her son, had started kindergarten; they were in different school systems so their orbits drifted apart. Still, they liked to get the kids together sometimes and arranged periodic play dates.
Hi, it read. Are you running late?
Sarah frowned. She hadn’t planned to meet Carla today. She had to see her patient, but she texted back, quickly.
For what?
The answer arrived seconds later.
The play date. I’m at your house with Ricky. No one’s here.
Sarah felt a slow churn in her stomach. The taste of the coffee soured in her mouth. She hadn’t spoken to or emailed or texted Carla in a week.
Which meant this was not a simple mix-up. It couldn’t be.
Did we plan a play date? I’m at work. Miles is at camp.
The dots signifying a reply was coming scrolled across the bottom of the screen.
Really? We emailed about it last night. You said to come at ten.
She hadn’t sent any emails the night before. She’d come back from the beach, fed the kids then curled up in front of a movie once they were in bed. And even if she had emailed Carla, she wouldn’t have arranged a play date, for the simple reason she was at work and the kids were either at camp or in day care.
She checked her phone. Nothing to Carla in the sent email folder. Which meant, unless Carla was making it up, someone else had emailed her.
Someone claiming to be Sarah.
She felt faint, dizzy. It was an effort to focus. Hands shaking, she typed a reply.
Sorry. I think I have an idea what happened. Can I see you at noon? I’ll be free for lunch then.
Sure, Carla replied. Call me.
Sarah shook her head. That wouldn’t do.
Can I see you? Sorry to be a pain, but you’ll understand.
Carla’s reply hinted at a little irritation.
I have a gym class starting soon. But I could meet around 12.20?
Sarah accepted. It would be a short lunch, but she needed to see her friend.
In the end Carla showed up at the Little Cat Café at twelve thirty. She was wearing yoga pants and a finishers’ T-shirt from the 2014 Lobsterman Triathlon. She looked – post-exercise – in a good mood.
Sarah waved at her and pointed to the cup of coffee – a skinny cappuccino – she had ordered as a peace offering. There was also a blueberry
