sounded harsh to his ears. He spoke French as fluently as any man, which made his task easier. He even dreamed in the language now, but reflecting on how far his self-imposed exile had brought him from home caused an unexpected wave of homesickness and grief to engulf him, making him reel.
A lump filled his throat. He knew from long experience it was an affliction that was best treated with a couple of jugs of wine. Not at the respectable inn where he had taken lodgings, but somewhere less reputable where a well-dressed blond Englishman would cause heads to turn, tongues to wag and, with luck, fists to fly.
He stormed away from the Harbourmaster’s office towards the narrow winding alleys that led down to the port rather than up to the town, intending to find a welcoming establishment in which to drown his frustration, but had not taken more than half a dozen steps when someone fell in beside him. He glanced across and recognised the man as one who had been drinking in the Harbourmaster’s office.
‘What is your name and business, monsieur, that you should need such rapid transport?’
John bridled at being asked in such a blatant manner. His hand instinctively reached for his dagger, but he stopped and withdrew it. He ran his eyes quickly over his questioner’s clothing. The man wore the thick cloak of oiled leather lined with fur and a hat familiar to anyone who had spent time around sailors. Perhaps this man could prove to be his salvation.
‘My name is Jack Langdon,’ John said. ‘I am a simple merchant. An agent for an association of wine buyers in Bristol. They have asked me to assess the current status of production and quality. Now I need to return to England to report on my findings.’
It wasn’t a lie, but nor was it the whole truth. Captain John Sutton, aide to the King’s Lieutenant in France, was no more. Now he was plain Jack Langdon, a merchant who travelled the length of western France and saw plenty to report on his travels that his other masters found of use.
The questioner’s face brightened, radiating honesty that immediately made John suspect trickery.
‘Then it is fortunate we meet, monsieur. I heard what that useless son of a putain told you back there, but he is misinformed. I’m Petrus Nevez. I am Captain of the Sant Christophe. I transport cargo via the coastal route back to my home in Roscoff. I am setting sail round the coast at first light. My ship is a small vessel, but if you can pay then I have room, monsieur.’
John considered the offer. Roscoff was not as close as he needed to be, but it was a damned sight closer than he was now. From there he could find another ship, or if necessary, travel by land to St Malo.
‘You are happy to travel at this time of year?’
Nevez grinned slyly and John wondered if the sailor’s cargo was legitimate or not. That might be something to investigate as he travelled. Smugglers could be useful in a war, if they had the appropriate sympathies.
‘What are your terms?’
Nevez named a price that caused John to wince inwardly. He had little choice, however, so with an enthusiasm he did not entirely feel, he shook hands and memorised the location of the vessel Sant Christophe.
Nevez skulked away towards the port. Not wishing to follow the Captain, John changed his mind about seeking out somewhere to drink and returned to the inn that had been his lodging for what felt like eternity. He settled on to a bench as close to the fire as he could manage and called for wine and something to eat. Jeanne, the youngest daughter of the innkeeper, sashayed over bearing a tray, hips moving enticingly and shoulders pushed back so her breasts jutted forward. She greeted him with a smile that John felt was almost genuine.
‘Did you find your ship, Monsieur Langdon?’ she asked as she handed him a steaming bowl. John ate a couple of mouthfuls of the creamy fish stew before answering. It was excellent.
‘Yes, I did, mademoiselle. Please tell your father I shall be leaving at first light.’
Jeanne pouted and held the wine cup out. ‘That’s a pity. I shall be sorry to see you leave.’
As John took hold of the cup, she quickly moved her hand so that her fingers were resting against his. She gave him a coy smile that belied the hardness in her eyes.
‘Perhaps you do not wish to spend this night alone?’
John sighed inwardly and disentangled his fingers, placing the cup beside the bowl on the table. ‘Thank you, but, no. My answer is the same as it has always been and always will be. I want no woman in my bed.’
Along with the other daughters of the innkeeper, Jeanne had made the same offer every night since John had arrived. When he rebuffed her every night, she accepted the rejection without rancour and did not waste much time before seeking out another potential customer. This night, she placed the wine flagon on the table and lingered beside him, regarding John with her glinting dark eyes.
‘Monsieur Langdon, you look at me with longing in your eyes, but refuse, even though my price is fair. How long is it since you last had a woman in your bed?’
Too long, was the answer to that question. His grief could have sent him down two paths: spending himself in the lap of any willing woman until their faces and bodies blurred, or provoking fights to make his blood rise and leave him with tangible aches. John had chosen the latter path and it had been a year at least since he had last tumbled into bed with a too-expensive whore in La Rochelle, drunk and unable to resist the lust that consumed him. Two more before that since he had last woken in the arms of Margaret, the wife he still missed.
He examined Jeanne. She was witty and passably pretty. She might once have been beautiful before years of working on her feet and her back had caused the lines round her eyes and lips to harden. He could engage her services and relieve himself of the physical needs that tormented him. He had no doubt she would prove to be an able and entertaining companion for an hour or so, but what then? She might satisfy the needs of his loins, but would not heal the grief that filled his heart.
‘I am sorry, Jeanne,’ he said kindly. ‘I made a vow that I would have no woman but my wife and it is one I intend to keep.’
John reached for the small cross that lay against his skin and closed his fist round it. He rubbed his thumb over the small garnets set into the front, then the engraved initials J and M side by side on the back.
‘Is that your wife’s?’ Jeanne asked.
‘Yes.’
‘She waits for you in England?’
John’s throat tightened. He raised his head and smiled grimly. ‘She waits for me beyond the grave.’
‘I apologise.’ Jeanne’s face was a picture of devastated embarrassment.
John shook his head. ‘No need. You could not have known.’
He lifted the cross to his lips, then slipped it back beneath his clothing.
He pushed his bowl away and stood, appetite gone. ‘Goodnight, mademoiselle.’
He took the flagon with him and went to the small bedroom in the attic. It cost him dearly, but having privacy rather than sharing with nine others in the communal bedroom was worth the expense. He lit a taper and by the dim light he packed away his belongings. He wrote a short note, detailing what he had discovered on his travels, sealed
