her balanced precariously on the edge of a very high cliff, and despite everything, Erika…wanted to jump.
She met his gaze again and wasn’t at all surprised to find him watching her in that intent, edgily patient way of his.
He didn’t pressure her. He didn’t have to. He was a wall. All she had to do was walk toward that wall or away from it.
“Have you decided?” he asked, as if he’d offered her a glass of water.
She nodded. Jerkily.
“Use your words, please.”
Erika swallowed, but her throat stayed dry. Half of her screamed at her not to do this—to get the hell away from him—but the other half was far too curious. And much too focused on that need between her legs.
That and the dangerous gleam in his gaze that she could feel inside her.
“You,” she said. “I choose you.”
And this time, the smile that spread over his stern mouth washed over her like heat. Or maybe she was already regretting her choice—
“Excellent,” Dorian said, and she thought he sounded pleased. It amazed her how much she wanted to please him. He didn’t move farther into the room, and she could have sworn he loomed over her all the same. “Let’s start by addressing your disrespectful attitude, shall we? On your knees. Eyes on the floor.”
“But—”
“You will speak only when spoken to,” he said, his voice that calm force that made her feel giddy and terrified at once. “You will answer any question I ask, and, Erika, let me be very clear. I expect and require total honesty. On your knees. Now.”
He didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t sound particularly sharp or angry. If anything, he sounded even calmer than before.
And still, that power he wielded hit her like a blow. That was the only way she could describe the massive force that seemed to push her forward, almost against her will. She didn’t think it through and worry over it from every angle. She sank down on her knees and found her hands on her thighs again. And it was easier than she’d imagined to cast her eyes down toward the ground.
Then there was nothing but her breath. Her panic and anticipation, tangling around into something else. Something hot and liquid that streaked through her, lighting her up and settling like a weight in her pussy.
And because she wasn’t looking at him any longer, he seemed bigger. As if he filled the vast room, taking up all the space and air. He made her shake, and he hadn’t done anything yet. She’d done it to herself.
She got it then, in a way she never had when she’d been playing with party favor floggers before. He made her want to do this to herself. He made her want the roller coaster of sensation and emotion.
It was like an adult magic trick. And she was still shaking.
“Very nice,” he said from across the room, and his approval made her flush, then feel as if she was blooming, somehow. “Obedience looks good on you.”
She thought he was goading her, but she was determined that he wouldn’t succeed. She glared at the floor and ordered herself to keep her hands out of telltale fists.
“Let me be clear about what is going to happen now,” Dorian said, almost conversationally. If she ignored that kick of command and heat wrapped up in his words and the way he delivered them. “I’m going to spank you. Your behavior tonight has been disgraceful. Keep those eyes down, please. And I would strongly caution you not to say whatever it is you’re about to say.”
Erika jerked her head back down, her heart pounding hard in her chest. She felt outraged. Insulted. How dare he call her disgraceful?
Her mind veered away from the spanking part.
“I want you to listen to me, Erika,” he continued, pitiless and relentless, and in exactly the same calm tone. And the steadier he sounded, the more wildly out of control she felt. Her eyes were blurry, and she told herself that was why it seemed as if her hands were shaking. “Ignore the noise in your head. Ignore all those lies you like to tell yourself and everyone else. Focus on me. Only me. Here, now, and until I say otherwise, the only thing you have to worry about is doing exactly what I tell you to do. Do you understand me?”
She sucked in a shaky breath. “Yes, but—”
“Yes is a complete sentence, kitten.”
She had to bite her own tongue, actually bite it, to keep from snapping back at him. He was maddening. How could he sound so blasé when he was saying something so…
But she was the one who was still kneeling. She was the one who kept doing as he said. She was the one he’d threatened to spank and here she was, still kneeling here like she had no choice. When she had every choice. When this was her choice.
“We will use the same safe-word structure as before. I want you to tell me what that is, now. With no editorializing.”
“Green light means everything is good, fine. Yellow light means I’m not sure about something. Or I want to pause. And red light means stop.”
“Very good.”
He moved then, and she could track the sound of him, but she didn’t dare look up. It was more than that—it felt as if his hand was on the back of her neck again, holding her head down, when he wasn’t even near her.
It was only when she heard the sound of his big body against leather cushions that she realized he’d sat himself down on the wide couch that faced her.
“Come here,” Dorian commanded. “And I want you to crawl.”
Was she really going to do this? Erika slid her hands off her thighs, not surprised to discover they were damp. She leaned forward, putting her palms on the ground, and then she froze.
“Now, Erika,” Dorian said in that same implacable way. “And I already told you how I’d like it to look. I want to see that ass bared. There’s no one here but me, but go ahead and imagine you’re back in the club. The only thing you should be focused on, there or here, is me.”
She told herself he was a narcissist. A lunatic. An asshole of the highest degree.
But she was the one who slid her hands forward, then dragged her knees along behind. Once. Again. And then, without even meaning to, really, she was crawling across the floor.
She couldn’t say she remembered the last time she’d crawled anywhere. She felt foolish. Exposed again, and it didn’t matter that they were alone here. Her skirt slid to her waist, and she couldn’t seem to keep herself from imagining the picture she made: a wanton little slut, crawling across the floor to obey him.
The thought nearly made her come again.
She made it over to him, and found herself at his feet.
“Look at me.”
His voice was gentle enough, but with that steel beneath that made her feel as if she was on some kind of leash.
