also applies to women, among others. At least in the economically prosperous countries of recent decades (which have consumed most resources in the process), an increasing number of women are finally sitting at the table when the cards are shuffled and dealt. Your hand, dear reader, is certainly better than most people at any point in history. Now, make something of it! As a side note: Maybe you are even a little thankful – or even very thankful – now and then for all the opportunities and possibilities that less than one percent of humanity has been given access to.
Understanding your family of origin and being at peace with it
When you look at your parents now, what do you see? (Assuming you have gotten to know your parents sufficiently.) When the best qualities of your parents marry, you are born! Children are 50 percent mom, 50 percent dad and 100 percent themselves. Yes, that's a paradoxical formula, as you can see. But if you can say yes to your family of origin and to yourself, then the procedure makes perfect sense. Psychologists, therapists and coaches have been dealing with the family structures of individuals for many decades. I recommend that you take a more indepth look at your family structure at least once in your life. Whether you do this in the form of self-reflection or with guidance – simply choose what suits you best.
One method that has provided many people with valuable insights is, for example, a systemic family constellation. At this point in the book it is neither necessary nor useful to deal with family constellations in detail. But I would like to highlight one point that experts have noticed in decades of dealing with family structures. In short: People who are permanently successful and happy are at peace with their families of origin and their ancestors. By the way, most indigenous peoples always knew that brave warriors should not feel stress from their ancestors. Otherwise all kinds of foolish things will happen to them. And they won't have much luck hunting either.
Psychology confirms this phenomenon. A part of psychoanalysis, the so-called transactional analysis, even speaks of a "loser script", an unconscious script of failure. People typically internalize when issues from their family of origin and childhood and adolescence are not yet resolved. The family structure needs to be on the table before moving on to your career's next level! Just ask yourself: Am I able to fully accept my origins? What does that make me? And what am I nonetheless? Today, as an adult, you are still 50 percent mom, 50 percent dad and 100 percent yourself. The only thing remaining is the question of what this "100 percent yourself" is and how you want to develop it in the future. Do we have our own foundation as well, regardless of our family background? Quite a few psychologists say: Yes.
The unchangeable basis of our personality
In the 1970s, the US psychologist Dr. Taibi Kahler was looking for new methods to analyze conflictual interpersonal situations faster and more accurately than with classical psychoanalysis. Kahler was also interested in finding solutions more efficiently and effectively than most therapists at that time. He closely observed the communication style of many individuals and could discern six characteristic patterns after some time. Based on his findings, combined with basic psychological research results, Kahler developed the Process Communication Model® (PCM). Therapy sessions demonstrated an astonishing success rate for PCM. This model made it possible to classify different personality types with certainty after just a few short discussions. The typical reactions – particularly the characteristic stress patterns – of people became predictable. After several years of experimental trials, Kahler also recognized the potential of PCM beyond psychotherapy. The model entered the business world as a tool for recruiting, personnel development and coaching. Between 1978 and 1996, NASA used the Process Communication Model® to select all its astronauts. Kahler was a close advisor to US President Bill Clinton in the 1990s.
You' re at home in one of six personality patterns
Taibi Kahler once described his model as a "key to ourselves". This means that you do not need a special occasion to deal with your own specific personality traits. PCM is a means of selfknowledge and a way of dealing more consciously with other people. In developing the model, Kahler never succumbed to the temptation to pigeonhole people. The six personality patterns of PCM are basically accessible to everyone. This means that we can behave one way or another, depending on the situation. However, it may come to us with varying degrees of ease. Elements ments that are easy for us are almost always presented in everyday life, while those that are more difficult to access are hardly ever presented to us. Kahler also discovered something else: Every person has a so-called base. This means that he is most at home in one of the six patterns. The base is like the ground floor of our house, where we stand completely naturally as soon as we get home and enter through the front door. This forms the pattern according to which we prefer to perceive, develop our character strengths, and communicate.
Fig.: Example of a personality architecture according to PCM. The "Thinker" is the base in this case. © 1996, 2014 Kahler Communications, Inc.
Our base does not change throughout our lives, while other "floors" of personality can certainly change. The French authors Gerard Collingnon and Pascal Legrand, both Taibi Kahler students, state in their PCM book ’Understand to Be Understood’: "We have a 'Base' personality type, which is acquired for life. We may experience other parts of our personality structure during our lifetime – a process that Dr. Kahler calls a 'Phase change'. "I will discuss the "phases" and their possible changes later in this book. At the moment, I am only concerned with the base.
Many things become easier when you know your base
If Kahler's observation is correct, there is indeed something that is 100 percent characteristic of you from early childhood. A basic pattern of perception and communication that you have not inherited from your parents, from your extended social environment or from your culture. Well, there are billions of people with a base like yours. And yet, knowing your base is not the only good starting point for deeper self-knowledge. Rather, it also provides convenient instructions for better interaction with the people in your social circle and all those you will encounter along your career path. The better you know your basis, the more you will understand why you immediately click with one person and why you often have issues with another.
The Process Communication Model® recognizes the six possible personality types: Thinker, Persister, Promoter, Harmonizer, Imaginer and Rebel (see box). In Patrick's base, the rebel element is evident. People who have strongly developed this energy often show that they are spontaneous, creative, unconventional and are ready to have fun. People with this base are relatively rare in top management. The actual person who has served as a role model for me here, however, is actually a base rebel and took a career step in a global corporation a while ago that was as big as Patrick's in this book. It seemed appealing to me to take this rather unusual personality for the business world as an example. This also shows that it is irrelevant for the success of a career that of the six PCM types forms the personality. At this point I would like to explicitly point out that we are dealing with elements that we find inherent in our personality and can perceive as such here. In this book, the PCM model is intended to be an aid to self-reflection and understanding of others. It is never about pigeonholing people. Rather, the point is to broaden our understanding of the differences between people and to meet these differences with appreciation.
The Process Communication Model® (PCM) recognizes the following personality elements. One of them forms the base for every human being throughout his or her life. Each personality element comes with some specific character strengths:
● The Thinker element: responsible, rational and well organized.
● The Persister element: committed, conscientious and value oriented.
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