This Heart of Mine. Brenda Novak
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There ain’t nobody in this town who likes you.
And yet she’d come back...
He clenched his fists and leaned into the rusty old filing cabinet that helped provide his cover. He refused to tear up—but fighting his emotions left a huge lump in his throat. Damn it! He’d known better than to get involved in this.
But it was the burning behind his eyes and the empathy that made his heart ache that caused the anger. He’d never been happier to give someone a gift.
Grateful to Kyle for thinking of it, for bringing it to his attention and making him feel responsible for meeting at least some of her needs, he watched as Phoenix wiped her cheeks, dusted off each item and restacked the cans inside the boxes.
The lights inside her trailer snapped on as soon as she carried the heaviest carton through the door. Then she returned to collect the other one.
After her door closed for the second time, Riley could have left without giving himself away. Instead, he was tempted to creep up to her window to see if she was trying on what they’d bought. It would be gratifying to see how it fit. His interest wasn’t sexual, so it didn’t seem all that reprehensible. But he decided that peeping through her bedroom window wouldn’t be appropriate despite his intentions.
Besides, Kyle had to be impatient waiting at the truck, which they’d parked half a mile or so away.
With a final glance at the bat she’d left on the ground, Riley was moving toward the street when he spotted a piece-of-shit bike leaning up against Phoenix’s trailer. She must have plans for that, he decided. She probably intended to fix it so that she’d have some transportation.
Noah, one of his best friends, owned the bike shop in town. Riley could get it fixed quicker and cheaper...
One of the dogs barked, making him a little anxious, but he couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed the bike before he left and was carrying it with him when he met Kyle on the road.
“What the hell is that?” Kyle asked.
“What does it look like?” he replied.
“Is that where you’ve been? Trying to steal her bike? I was beginning to think she caught you.”
“It wasn’t the bike that held me up.”
“Then what did?”
“It took her a while to open those boxes and figure out they were safe to accept.”
Kyle’s expression showed interest. “You saw her open them?”
“Yeah. After she chased you off, she thought whoever had left the stuff was gone.”
“But...how did she not see you? With that damn floodlight it wasn’t even very dark.”
“That’s why I couldn’t move. I was hiding in the shadows behind her mother’s trailer.” And she definitely hadn’t seen him. If she’d known he was there, she would never have broken down. That was what had made her relief and gratitude so honest. Here was someone who’d withstood so much tragedy without flinching. She hadn’t complained or railed at him when he didn’t bring Jacob to see her in the correctional facility, even though she’d requested it several times. She would simply wait a few months and politely ask him again.
Now he felt like shit that he hadn’t shown more consideration. But he hadn’t wanted to confuse Jacob, hadn’t wanted to do anything that might cause his son to stumble. His parents, who’d been so much help when Jacob was small, had convinced him that allowing any kind of contact with Phoenix would be a grave mistake. And there was something about believing that she’d gotten what she deserved that neutralized compassion in general—and in him, too—especially when so many people he respected stood united in that opinion.
“So what did she think?” Kyle asked as they walked toward the truck.
Riley shifted the bike to his other hand. It wasn’t heavy, but it was awkward to carry. “She liked everything.”
“Really?” He seemed pleased, and Riley understood why. He’d felt the same way when she’d held that sundress to her chest as if it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. “How do you know?”
Riley grinned at him. “Trust me, it was obvious.”
“She’s too guarded to show much emotion. But you could tell, huh?”
She wasn’t guarded when he saw her because she’d thought she was alone. All her walls had come crumbling down. But he felt it would violate her privacy to share the moment he’d witnessed, with those tears streaming down her face, so he kept it to himself. “Yeah, I could.”
“I hope I get to see her wear something we bought,” he said.
They reached the truck. “That felt great,” Riley admitted as he climbed into the passenger seat. “Thanks for including me.”
Kyle looked surprised. “Seriously, man? I know it’s hard for you to have her back.”
Riley had had his own challenges, but he’d never been through anything even close to what she had—and maybe none of it had been her fault. “Seriously.”
* * *
Riley almost ignored the knock that sounded early the next morning. He’d been up most of the night, and Sunday was his day off.
Jake can get it, he thought, and rolled over. It was probably one of Jacob’s friends, anyway, rousting him to go mountain biking or out for a hike.
But when the knocking continued, he remembered Jacob wasn’t even home. He’d stayed with his best buddy, Tristan Abbott, last night and Riley had been happy to let him. He’d known that if Jacob stayed elsewhere he wouldn’t have to explain his own whereabouts or actions.
“Coming!” he called as he dragged himself out of bed and yanked on a pair of jeans.
“Where’s your shirt?” his mother snapped once he opened the door.
He shoved a hand through his hair. “You’re lucky I have my pants on. Anyone who bothers me this early deserves to see me in whatever state I decide to answer the door.”
“Have you seen her?” she asked as she brushed past him and into the house.
He didn’t really want to have this discussion. He knew who “she” was, and he knew that he and his mother were going to have very different opinions on Phoenix, especially after what he’d witnessed last night. He wished