the hammer back in her father’s toolbox, she knew she had to apologize. Later, though, when she wasn’t fuming.
Gabe was so locked within himself he probably hadn’t even heard what she’d said. She’d take time to cool off and then she would try to make amends. If that was possible.
She was so tired of dealing with grief and pain that she wanted to scream. There had to be a glimmer of happiness somewhere, and she intended to find it for Emma. And for herself.
But for Gabe, happiness was in his rearview mirror. And the road ahead was strewn with heartache and pain. Hope was something he didn’t even want or desire. Inside, he was already as dead as his son.
Gabe walked into his house and sat at the kitchen table, Pepper curled at his feet. The woman had some nerve. She didn’t even know Zack or him. He looked up to stare at a photo of his son.
How would you feel if someone had done this to your child?
Don’t think.
But his feelings bubbled to the surface. He would be as mad as hell. He ran his hands over his face and a tortured sigh escaped. He would have protected his son with his dying breath, except that when his son had needed him the most, Gabe hadn’t been there. He’d failed his son. He’d failed to teach him how important it was to follow rules. He’d failed to discipline him. That was all on Gabe’s shoulders. Gabe was the reason Zack was dead.
Another tortured sigh erupted from his throat.
Pepper whined and Gabe reached down to pat her. As he did, he saw his reflection in the glass on the stove. He didn’t recognize himself. He touched his bearded face. When was the last time he’d shaved? Or showered? Or had gotten a haircut? He couldn’t remember.
Your son would be so disappointed in you.
The woman was right. He recognized that somewhere in the frozen region of his mind. Zack wouldn’t approve of him giving up and living his days in regret. But what else could he do? He had no reason to live anymore, but he didn’t have the nerve to take his own life. He would never do that. It went against everything he believed in. So he continued to live in a hell of his own making.
One crazy woman was putting doubts in his head. Ignore her, he told himself. But he looked at the photo of his smiling son and knew he couldn’t continue to live like this. Zack was gone and he couldn’t hurt another child. But he could make things right.
* * *
IT TOOK LACEY about thirty minutes to calm down. Emma and Jimmy continued to play with the Legos and she made them a snack. Afterward, Emma wanted to know if they could go outside and play. Lacey hesitated, but Emma would find out soon enough about the gate. Lacey just had to be ready to explain.
She watched from the window while the kids chased each other and then played with a soccer ball, kicking it. Not once did Emma go to the gate, and Lacey was grateful for a little more time. Sharon called and Jimmy went home.
Not wanting to go to the diner again, Lacey made hot dogs and they had store-packaged pudding for dessert. She had to do better than this.
Emma took her bath and then curled up on the sofa to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Lacey couldn’t get Gabe off her mind.
“Sweetie, I’m going outside just for a minute. I’ll be right back.”
“’Kay.” Emma was already engrossed in the movie.
Lacey went through the garage and walked to Gabe’s front door. She rang the bell and waited. After a moment, he opened it.
She could only stare. He’d shaved, and his long hair was slicked back as if he’d just gotten out of the shower. He wore jeans and a black T-shirt and his feet were bare. Raw masculinity seemed to reach out and touch her. She swallowed hard.
“Did you want something?” he asked, his voice wrapping around her in a soothing sensation.
“Um...”
He lifted a dark eyebrow, and his eyes were heated with an emotion she couldn’t describe. It wasn’t anger this time. Could it be regret?
“Did you want something?” he repeated.
She cleared her throat. “Yes. I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I was completely out of line mentioning your son.”
He inclined his head, as if that was a response.
Taking a couple steps backward, she turned and walked to her house. She’d never met anyone like Gabe before. He used a bare minimum of words, and she found that odd for a man who was a lawyer—or who had been one.
Once in her garage, she took a couple of deep breaths before joining Emma to watch the rest of the movie. But the movie went right by her as thoughts of Gabe filled her head. He cleaned up better than anyone she’d ever known. He was handsome with a rugged, masculine appeal that made her pulse skitter with awareness.
She’d had a boyfriend in Austin, and they had been serious until her father had become ill and Lacey had started spending so much time in Horseshoe. Darin hadn’t been happy that she’d taken on the responsibility of Emma, and they’d drifted apart. She hadn’t heard from him in months.
Her mother also hadn’t been pleased with Lacey’s decision. But then she and her mother had never been really close. Her father had been the steadying force in her life as a child and as a teenager. Her mother had worked at Macy’s for as far back as Lacey could remember—long hours and all holidays, leaving little time for her family.
Her parents were mismatched, and Lacey had never understood how they’d gotten together. Her mother was a social person who liked to go out after work. Her father had been a homebody who had enjoyed tinkering around the house.
Jack Carroll had been a postman, and her mother always had been on his case about drive and ambition. She’d wanted him to have a desk job. She’d wanted him to have prestige. It had all come to a head after her father had declined a desk job at the post office. Her mother had told him to get out and never come back. And he had. Then she’d blamed him for leaving. Her mother was the victim, and Lacey had grown tired of hearing that story.
But she was Lacey’s mother, and Lacey loved her even though it was hard sometimes to deal with her. She had no idea how she was going to fit Christmas in with her mother, because her mother refused to be around Emma. Somehow she blamed the child for the reason Jack never came back.
Emma was sound asleep, holding her bear. Lacey wondered how anyone could blame an innocent child. And she wondered if her life would be filled with anything other than heartache. Getting up, she yawned, reached for the remote control and clicked off the TV. She lifted Emma into her arms and carried her to bed.
Tomorrow had to be a better day.
And the man next door had to be in a better mood. They’d made a start. Now Lacey waited for the next encounter.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING Lacey was in a hurry to make the ten o’clock mass. Emma was being
