long. I thought I saw a hint of it the other day in your sister’s kitchen, and then again in my office. You weren’t looking for it. You thought yourself attracted to me.’
‘I am attracted to you. How much more obvious do you want me to be?’
He caught her wrist, then deliberately brought her hand back to the counter before releasing her. He wasn’t going to act the Neanderthal the way he had the other day. He just wasn’t.
‘Move over,’ she said, and reached across the bench for her plate of pancakes and her utensils.
When she sat down beside him she let her lower leg rest against his, pinching his footrest instead of using hers.
‘Touch doesn’t always have to be sexual. Sometimes it’s about comfort and connection.’
‘Are you mentoring me?’
‘You did say I could. Are you objecting?’
‘Yes,’ he said firmly, and glared when she patted him on the forearm. ‘And don’t mother me either. Don’t need one—don’t want one. Don’t call me Oedipus.’
She smiled like a Madonna. ‘I challenge you to stay in casual body contact with me for five minutes and see if it relaxes you any. If it works we’ll get you a puppy.’
‘Don’t want a puppy, Ro.’ He gave her his full wattage smile. ‘I want a girl.’
‘And I thought you wanted me. How are your ribs?’
‘Better.’
‘The doctor said it would take weeks for them to fully heal.’
‘Almost better.’
‘It’s probably too soon for you to be playing contact sport as a way of encountering touch. There’s massage …?’
Her leg was already sliding against his as he moved his own leg around. ‘The frustration would kill me.’
‘Self-massage beforehand?’
‘Wouldn’t help.’
‘Maybe you could take dance classes? Start with a waltz … finish at the tango?’
‘No partner.’
‘The dance teacher would be your partner.’
‘You’re really serious about this touch thing, aren’t you?’
‘Are you feeling more relaxed than you were a minute ago?’
Surprisingly, he was.
‘Might not be about touch, though. Might be proximity to you. You could stay the night. There could be dinner out on the deck. A swim this afternoon. I could teach you how to kite surf.’
He wasn’t allowed to, on account of his ribs, but that wouldn’t stop him teaching someone else.
‘Wouldn’t I have to learn how to surf first?’
‘Oh, Ro … No. You don’t surf? Do you know what this means?’
‘That we may not be soul mates after all?’
‘It means you’re missing out on one of life’s great pleasures. Now I have to teach you how to surf.’
‘You mean right after you teach me how to swim?’
For a moment he thought she was serious, and then she smiled and he knew she was playing him. ‘You can swim. The General would have made sure of it.’
She laughed at that. ‘And then there was canoeing and sailing—diving and the rest. I swear that man should have joined the Navy, not the Army.’
He liked hearing those kinds of things from her, liked having her around.
‘Can you stay? We could swim or surf—the offer’s there. You could stay the night—there’s plenty of bedrooms. We could go out to dinner. There could be fresh seafood and bright stars in the sky. A playful breeze. There could be body contact and relaxation. I’m all for it.’
‘My flight leaves at midday. This is a work-day for me.’
‘There’s always next weekend. You could come back.’
Her leg rocked gently against his. ‘You’re very tempting. You already know this, so it’s not as if I’m telling you anything new. But you’re not in a good place right now, and I’m trying to figure out what I need to do for you in a work capacity and what I might be able to offer you in a private one. The answer to that second question being that if I know what’s good for me I’ll offer you nothing.’
‘We could try friendship?’ he offered. ‘Something simple. I’d like simple.’
‘You’d need to stop hitting on me. And—given that I have at least some self-awareness—I’d need to stop flirting with you too.’
Rowan smiled ruefully and turned her attention to the eating of her pancakes. They ate in companionable silence, and by the time Rowan had finished her pancakes and drunk her coffee Jared was feeling more at ease.
‘Get a massage,’ she told him as she stood to leave. ‘Go hug people. Use the beach and concentrate on the physical sensation of the waves breaking over you and the sun on your skin. Hold your hand over your heart and breathe. Concentrate on sensory details when you want to give your brain a rest.’
‘You’re giving me coping mechanisms for anxiety?’
‘You asked me how I cope with some of the decisions I’ve had to make over the years. I’m telling you what has helped me.’
‘Sex.’
Jared rubbed his hand across the back of his neck and tried to explain his thought processes before Rowan decided that he was hitting on her again.
‘Trig said I needed sex.’
‘It’s not a bad idea—provided that your partner knows what you’re having sex for.’
‘I’m pretty sure that telling someone I’m touch-starved and over-anxious and therefore need to have sex isn’t going to fly.’
‘Oh, I don’t know … With your face and body?’ She leaned across the counter for her black leather satchel. ‘It might.’
‘Are you flirting again?’
‘I hope not.’ She stood up and slung the satchel over her shoulder. ‘Time for me to go.’
‘Yeah.’ He didn’t want her to go. ‘Do you need any more on Antonov?’
‘No. That wasn’t the main reason I came here and you know it. I wanted to check up on you—see how you were tracking. I’m supposed to be gaining your trust, and that’s hard to
