I’m telling you—you are hurting me. Because I love you. And you don’t love me back.’
The shock of it was plain on his face. ‘You don’t love me. Kate, you know you don’t.’ Pleading, almost. ‘You can’t. You don’t want love.’
She laughed, shrugged, helpless.
Waves of panic were emanating from Scott. ‘You said you’d never give someone that kind of power over you.’
‘Except that now I would give it to you.’
‘Cynical. We’re both cynical. It’s what made us perfect. Makes us perfect.’
‘I’m not cynical, Scott. Or if I am it doesn’t last—not if I have someone…’ she swallowed ‘… someone who’ll say to me, “Shh, I’m here”, like you just did. Putting things right for people is what I do, what I want to do, even if sometimes it gets too much. And perfect…? I don’t want to be perfect. And I don’t want you to be perfect either. I want to be imperfect—with you. I want children who are perfect or imperfect—who are anything as long as they’re yours. And I want to say to you, Shh, I’m here, when things get too much for you. Because I’m in love with you. And I would do anything—anything—for you to love me.’
His eyes were wild. ‘I…can’t do this.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t. Do this.’
‘You loved Chantal. Why can’t you love me?’
‘I didn’t love Chantal, Kate. And I don’t blame her for choosing Brodie. I never did. Anyone would choose him.’
‘Not me. Because I chose you. I’m choosing you. No—it wasn’t even a choice. It just happened. Love. I didn’t even know I was waiting for it. But I was. I was waiting for the right man to come along. Then there you were. And suddenly you were mine. The perfect imperfect man. The right man for me. Uptight…beer not cocktails…hell, no, to dancing…sport and poker games…with a kitten on your backside…wearing a blue tux and driving a red Mini…baking for two little girls. How could I not love you? And now, Scott, I want us to just…just be.’
He was shaking his head. His face was white, stark fear in his eyes. ‘I’m not the right guy for anyone, Kate. I’m the “friends with benefits” guy, with a bulging black book. I’ve never had a relationship—don’t you see? Never! And there’s a reason for that—because I know what I’m good at. Sex—no strings. My speciality. I’ve got more tail than I know what to do with. That’s me. And I’m fine with that.’
It was like a punch direct to Kate’s heart, killing it—that was how it felt. As if her heart was dead. A swollen lump she wished she could rip out of her chest.
‘T-T-Tail?’ Kate stammered over the word, her teeth chattering with reaction.
He looked at her, all hard-eyed. ‘Tail,’ he repeated.
God, the ache of it. Crushing. Ravaging. ‘So here I am, opening myself to you, telling you I would move heaven and hell and everything in between—everything—to have you—you, Scott. Not Brodie, not Hugo, not Phillip, but you. And your response is to tell me I’m a piece of tail?’
He stood there like a block of granite, silent.
‘Right,’ she said, and swallowed. ‘Right.’ She looked blindly around, head spinning. ‘Right.’ Was the blood draining out of her? That was what it felt like. ‘Saturday is the twenty-eighth of February. End of contract. We’ve had one session this week—Sunday. And we have tonight. We’ll make this the last one, because I’m not inclined to negotiate any extras for the week. Cadit quaestio—a settlement for our dispute has been reached. Sex—once more—and the issue is resolved.’
‘It’s not resolved.’
Agony twisted through her. He didn’t love her, but he wouldn’t let her go either. ‘What more do you want from me?’
‘I want… I want…’ His hands were diving into his hair again. But no more words emerged.
Kate took an unsteady breath. ‘Well, given everything you’ve just said to me, and all the things you can’t seem to say, I finally know what I want. I want out. I’m saying no to the rollover option. No to everything.’
‘You can’t do that.’
‘Now, you see, you should have read the contract when I told you to. Because I can do that. I am doing that. I’m not going to turn into one of those bitter people I see in court—hating you, trying to punish you because you don’t love me or need me the way I love and need you. If you don’t love me then I don’t want you.’
‘You do want me. I know you do.’
Kate started removing her clothes.
‘What the hell—? Kate, what are you doing?’
‘Getting undressed.’ She was down to her underwear in record time. ‘I’m taking back my “Hugo” and we’re restarting Play Time. As I recall, it was a dining experience you offered me—you bent the fifty-fifty rule to get it…clever you. So I’ll get on top of the dining table, you can put those whoopie pies all over me, and then—’
But whatever she’d been about to say was whoomped out of her as Scott grabbed her by the arms. ‘You’re not lying on top of anything except my bed.’
She greeted that with a nice, brittle laugh. ‘How conservative of you.’
‘Yes, I am conservative. And I’m over all this Play Time stuff. I don’t want you on your knees in alleys, or stripping for me like a hooker, or blindfolding me like we’re in a B&D room, or any other kooky stuff.’
‘That’s exactly what you wanted—why do you think I was giving it to you?’
‘Well, I don’t want it now. Got it, Kate?’ He shook her, once. ‘Got it? I. Just. Want. You. As agreed. In bed. Okay?’
‘As agreed,’ she repeated. And the tears came. ‘No, Scott, it’s not okay.’
‘Why not? Why not, dammit?’
‘Because I love you. And loving you hurts like hell.’
He let her go, stepped back as though she’d struck him.
‘Come on, Scott. Look on the bright side. You never liked all those rules. Anais is going to make you a much more beneficial friend.’
‘I don’t want Anais.’
‘And after tonight I won’t want you. So here I am, offering you one last time. Take it…or leave it.’
‘They’re the only two options?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then I’m taking it. Get on the table, Kate. Let’s say goodbye in style.’
