‘You can be independent without pushing away everyone who feels something for you.’
Blood rushed in her ears. The roaring made it hard to think straight. ‘Are you trying to tell me you feel something for me?’
That was exactly what he was saying, wasn’t it? He did have feelings for her. Why would he keep chasing her if he didn’t?
‘What if I do?’
‘That would go against our agreement.’ Her olive-green eyes were wide, like two shimmering moons, begging him not to continue.
If he admitted to caring about her and she rejected him what would happen next? He’d never see her again. The thought of a life without her seemed pointless. Colour-less. Dull.
‘We’re supposed to be friends,’ she whispered.
‘We are.’
‘That’s all I have room for. I don’t want a relationship right now. I want to get my career sorted. I’ve worked my whole life for this. I’m not stopping now.’
‘You do know you can have more than one thing in life, don’t you?’ He couldn’t help the words coming out with a derisive tone. How could she be so narrow-minded?
Hypocrite.
‘Can you? I thought family was your one thing.’
She stepped backwards and he let her slip out of his grip.
‘Someone told me I was too scared to invest in anyone outside my family. Maybe that person was right.’
‘No. Family should come first for you.’ Chantal shook her head. ‘Go back to Queensland, Brodie. Go home.’
‘Who’s scared now?’ He hated himself for the waver in his voice. She’d managed to do what no other woman ever had—she’d made him feel something. She’d made him want to stay.
‘I am, Brodie. I’m scared.’ She looked at him with a blank face. ‘I’m scared for my career, so that’s what I’m focusing on right now. Please don’t follow me.’
With that she turned and left him standing in the middle of the parking lot. Her silhouette faded into the night and every nerve ending in his body fired, telling him to go after her. But she’d made it clear her life had no room for a relationship. No room for him.
If she wasn’t going to let him in there was no point hanging around. He was stupid to have even tried. Of course she wanted nothing more from him. How had he fallen into that trap? He was supposed to walk away—it was what he always did.
‘You’re a goddamn idiot,’ he muttered, unsure if he were talking to himself or to her.
By Friday, Brodie was ready to sail home. His travel bag was packed, but he hadn’t been able to convince himself to go. Instead he’d headed back to Sydney, in the hope that a change of scenery could pull him out of his incredible funk.
The view from the boat should have cured any bad feelings he had, and the sunlight sparkling off the water and the girls in their tiny shorts and tank tops was his definition of nirvana. Not today, though.
Humid air clung to his sweat-drenched body. He’d hoped going for a run would allow him to burn off the agitated energy that had kept him awake the last few nights. It hadn’t. Since then he’d called the office, video chatted with the family, and run until his legs trembled. Now what?
The shower beckoned. He stripped, hoping the rush of cool water against his sizzling skin might ease the confusing thoughts in his head. But the normally soothing sound of water against tiles gave him space to think… something he needed like a hole in the head.
He was officially broken.
A noise caught his attention. The vibration of his phone against the benchtop, sounding like insects buzzing. Who would be calling him? The guy who managed his office had already told him to butt out until his holiday was officially up. Apparently things were running like clockwork, and he’d told Brodie he sounded as if he hadn’t had any rest at all.
Brodie rubbed his eyes and tilted his face up to the spray. Exhaustion weighed down his limbs. No wonder… He was pretty sure he’d seen each hour tick over on his clock last night.
What if Chantal was calling?
He wrenched at the taps, shutting off the water, and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, checking the ID flashing up on his phone. Of course it wasn’t her. She’d made it damn clear there was nothing between them. That didn’t stop the way his body sprang to action at the thought of her contacting him.
Pathetic.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey, man.’ Scott’s voice boomed over the line. ‘Want to grab a drink?’
The last thing he wanted was to see Scott face to face. His friend would know in an instant that things had gone south. ‘I’m actually having a little time out at the moment.’
‘You’re back in Queensland?’
‘No, not yet.’ He’d been so rattled by the encounter with Chantal that he’d hightailed it back up the coast to Sydney without telling anyone. Not even Scott.
‘Everything okay?’
‘Nothing major,’ he lied, padding to his bedroom.
‘Work problems?’
He paused, unsure how much he wanted to reveal. But Scott’s pushing meant he knew something was up. ‘Not exactly.’
A chuckle came down the line. ‘Let me guess—it starts with C and ends with L.’
‘Spelling was never my strong suit.’ He tried to make light of Scott’s words but it sounded hollow, even to him.
‘What happened?’
‘I don’t know. One minute it was fine—we were fine—and the next…’ He dropped down onto the bed and rubbed his temple with his free hand. ‘It was supposed to be convenient. Fun.’
‘Love is anything but convenient,’ Scott said sagely.
‘I didn’t say I loved her.’
‘Didn’t need to. Why else would you be hiding out?’
Scott had a point. He’d run like a scared little kid, tail between his legs, all because she’d drawn the line at sex. In what universe would he be upset by that? It was guilt-free—for once he didn’t have to be the bad guy.
‘I don’t know if I love her.’
‘Are you feeling miserable?’
‘Yes.’
‘Miserable’ was probably a few notches down from the aching in his chest that had appeared
