You just think you’re ready. You work around kids and babies all day long. We have to focus on our careers now. Once we’re both really settled and in the top of our chosen fields, then we’ll settle down. We’ll have a couple of kids.”
And then that had never happened and now it wouldn’t happen because, number one, she was no longer Dean’s wife, number two, he was still in California, and, number three, Dean was gay.
There had been a lot of sniggers in the private practice she’d worked at in Los Angeles with Dean about how she’d found out he’d been cheating on her. Mindy had known Owen was gay, he had been her best friend. She didn’t care that Dean was gay, it was the fact that he’d gone behind her back and cheated on her with Owen and that the two of them had been carrying on for over a year and hadn’t told her. She’d shared her insecurities with Owen about her marriage. She’d trusted him too and he’d used those secret hurts and concerns against her.
That’s what had hurt the most. Dean knew everything she’d told Owen.
“You look angry all of a sudden. Are you okay?” Sam asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.
“I’m fine.” Well, she wasn’t. Not really. She was still letting Dean and Owen get to her. Even though it had been a year since her divorce had been finalized.
Dean and Owen had moved on and were in the process of adopting a child.
A child. Mindy had wanted a child for five years, but Dean had never been ready and Owen had told her not to push Dean on the matter.
“I’m fine,” she said again, and swigged back the last of her Merlot. “Just. Fine.”
So many years of her life wasted. Too many.
“I don’t think you are.” Sam got up. “Do you want me to walk you home?”
“You can do more than walk me home.” She wasn’t sure if it was the wine or what, but she grabbed the collar of Sam’s sweater, or where there would’ve been a collar if he wasn’t wearing a V-neck, and pulled him close to her, planting a kiss on his lips because she had to see for herself if those lips against hers would be just as thrilling as when they’d brushed against her knuckles.
And God help her. They were.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Only she couldn’t. His arms went around her, his strong hands on her back as their bodies pressed together. The kiss deepened, so even if she wanted to turn back now she couldn’t. It had been so long since she’d had this kind of human contact.
So long that she’d forgotten what it was like and maybe even forgotten that she craved it, to have a man be aroused by her and not by her best friend.
Just her.
Sam broke off the kiss. “If you continue to do that I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
“What if I don’t want you to stop?”
Sam’s blue eyes twinkled. “Well, then, that’s a whole different story.”
“My apartment is next door.”
He grinned. “Oh, aye?”
“Yeah.” Mindy grabbed her copious layers and took his hand, leading him out of the bar. She was going to be impulsive. Even if it was just this once in her life. She was going to live a little and she was going to do it with this dishy Scottish laird heir, or whoever he claimed to be.
She just needed this.
She badly needed to wipe the slate clean.
“Hold on. I just need to get my jacket. I may be more used to the winters than you, but I don’t want to freeze out there.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
He grinned and winked at her. “It’s okay. For a moment I wasn’t thinking either. I was just thinking about kissing you again.” Then he leaned in, brushing his knuckles down the side of her face, which made her knees go weak, just before he kissed her. A light kiss that made her whole body tingle with anticipation.
Mindy watched the dishy Scot go to the coat check and slip on his jacket.
She couldn’t believe that she was actually doing this, that she was taking a strange man home to her apartment to have sex with. A younger man to boot.
In all her thirty-seven years she’d never done anything like this. She’d never lived dangerously. She was always too afraid to take the chance, to take the risk. Except when it came to surgery. When she was in the OR it gave her a whole different kind of rush. When she was in the OR and a mother and her baby’s lives were in jeopardy she went with her gut instinct. It was the same instinct she was using now.
Mindy was trying to listen to her gut more often, especially about non-medical situations. She’d been terrified about leaving California, which was safe and what she knew, but she’d listened to her gut and made the decision to travel across country.
So when she’d seen Sam and spoken with him, her gut had told her to take a chance, to live a little. She hadn’t been with anyone since Dean and even then that had been some time ago.
It was time to start afresh.
She could do this and, more importantly, she wanted to do this.
He joined her. “Lead the way.”
Mindy’s cheeks flushed with heat and she knew she was blushing, but she didn’t care as she took his hand. They walked across the street to her condo. The doorman let her in and didn’t even bat an eyelash over the fact that she had gone to the bar alone less than an hour ago and was returning with a man.
They got into the elevator and she hit the button to her floor.
“Penthouse?” he remarked.
“It’s the best.”
The elevator stopped and they walked down the hall to her apartment. She was shaking. She was very nervous about what was going to happen, but she wanted it to happen.
“Here it is,” she said, hoping that her voice didn’t wobble too much.
Get a grip on yourself, Mindy! You’re not some inexperienced virgin. You’ve done this before.
“Are you nervous, Mindy?” he asked.
“A bit.”
“Look, we don’t have to do this. I won’t be mad.”
He was being a gentleman. He was giving her a way out, but she didn’t want a way out. She wanted this. She needed this night. Tomorrow she was going to start her new job and she wouldn’t have time for moments like this.
As of tomorrow she planned to focus solely on building her career and her patient list at West Manhattan Saints. There would be no time for dating, gorgeous men or trysts. It was now or never.
“No, I want this. It’s just that I’ve… I’ve never done
