‘Like horror stories do you?’ His voice was a low growl and Lexi sensed the pain he was trying desperately to hold at bay.
He had the look of a lost child about him and Lexi was reminded of Ty the first time she had met him, mistrust stamped all over his beautiful face. But she wouldn’t push Leo any further. It would be beyond arrogant of her to assume that just because she found it better to talk through her issues, he would too.
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and for a minute she didn’t think he was going to say anything. Then he flopped back down on the chair and stared at the starry sky. ‘I grew up in the Tundra—a hellhole of a place where nothing grows and it’s so bitterly cold in winter you feel like your bones are freezing. My father was a miner with Mafioso connections and my mother was a shop girl who let love turn her blind. When my father drank he turned violent and my mother bore the brunt of his loss of control. At times I tried to stop him but I could never protect her from his brute strength.’
‘How could you—you were just a child?’ she cried.
‘No child wants to see their mother hurt. Of course every time I tried to help he thought it was a great joke and tried to challenge me. Taunted me until I gave in.’
Lexi felt sick and it took a great deal of effort to control the emotion in her voice. ‘How old were you when this started?’
‘Six, seven. I don’t remember.’ He gave a telling shrug.
He remembered all right. Too well, Lexi guessed.
‘I do remember his favourite modus operandi was a sly backhand just when you thought the jibes and beltings had finished.’
Lexi swallowed and made an inarticulate sound of distress. ‘Do you still see him?’ she asked, her breathing ragged and uneven where his was almost meditatively calm.
‘No.’ His eyes when they fixed on hers were empty. ‘He died in prison.’
‘Was that when you were ten?’
He looked at her warily.
‘You said the first ten years were awful. I just wondered if that was when your father went to jail.’
‘Got a sharp brain, haven’t you, angel?’
‘So … things got better after that?’
‘Things did get better. My father went to prison and I went to live with my uncle.’
‘Where was your mother?’
‘She couldn’t look after me. I was too wild. Used to get into fights all the time. Very bad news.’
Lexi was still trying to comprehend that his mother had sent him away when she noticed that his tone had darkened. ‘Your mother sent you away?’
‘Oh, Lexi, with the bleeding heart. Don’t be so outraged.’ He touched her face briefly and then stood up and paced across the balcony, unable to keep still. ‘She had her reasons and it was the best decision she could have made. My uncle wasn’t at all like my father. He was gruff and proud, but he controlled his emotions. Until I came to stay, he had lived his adult life alone. He taught me how to contain my rage.’
Lexi wondered if Leo realised that he had made himself over in his uncle’s image. A man facing the world alone. Her heart went out to him. ‘Do you still see him?’
‘He died. A work-related accident.’
‘On a building site,’ Lexi guessed.
‘Da. And now you know.’ He spread his arms wide. ‘All the dirty details of who I really am and why I can’t be a father to Ty.’
‘No—’ Lexi shook her head ‘—I don’t know that at all.’
He huffed out a laugh. ‘Then you’re not as smart as I thought you were. I’m not a good bet, Lexi. I can’t be responsible for Ty.’
Was that it? Was that why he was so determined that Ty was better off without him? Not because he was afraid of losing his lifestyle, but because he was afraid of becoming his father. Afraid of hurting those who relied on him.
‘Leo, that’s fear talking. It’s not who you are,’ she said, catching her breath at his fierce expression as he swung around to face her again.
‘Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said? I’m a violent man.’
‘You think you’d hurt Ty?’ Lexi shook her head. ‘I don’t.’
‘My father couldn’t help it. Who’s to say I’ll be any different?’
‘Your father could help it. He chose not to.’
Lexi’s heart went out to Leo trapped as a young child in a world with such a damaged adult, but she forced herself to focus on what still needed to be said.
‘Leo, I don’t know who your parents were but I’d say they were two people who shouldn’t have been together. They brought out the worst in each other and maybe didn’t have the maturity to see the error of their ways. But whatever their story is—it doesn’t have to be yours.’
‘It doesn’t matter, Lexi. I’m empty inside. I have nothing to give.’
Lexi frowned. ‘You think you can’t love?’ How much this man had suffered!
‘Not think. I don’t.’
‘What about your uncle?’
‘Yes, maybe. I cared for him. But …’ His voice trailed away and he rubbed the back of his neck. ‘There’s no point talking about this.’
‘Because it hurts too much?’
‘Because I am what I am.’
Leo gripped the railing more tightly and Lexi went to him and laid her hand on his arm. ‘Spend time with Ty. Just the two of you. I haven’t seen you take any time off since we got here.’
‘No.’ He moved his hand out from under hers and flopped down on the sun lounger, his hands dangling between his wide-spread knees.
Lexi could feel him closing off and she didn’t know what else to say to him. ‘He needs you, Leo.’
‘He needs a decent father.’
Lexi placed her hands on her hips, determined to get through to him on this point. ‘Yes. You. And you need him.’
He shook his head slowly and the look in his eyes as they swept over her changed, became heated. ‘What I need is for you to go to bed.’
‘I—’
He shook his head, his eyes becoming guarded. ‘No more. There’s only so much happy reminiscing a man can take. Especially when the woman he’s reminiscing with is only half dressed.’ His lips twisted into a wry smile.
‘I’m not half dressed.’
‘Tell
