way of knowing that the seemingly innocent question would open a whole Pandora’s box of history for her. She finally set her fork aside. “When I was growing up, I didn’t have the healthiest of childhoods. It could have been a lot worse than it was, but the only high points during those years were when my mom would let me tag along to the gym. When she was there, she was...” She had to search for the word. “Free. In control in a way that she never was while married to my dad. When that relationship ended for good, it was a new city, a new gym, a new sense of purpose. It was in that place that I saw her find herself again, make friends, start the long road to what healthy looked like.”
She tried a nonchalant shrug, but every muscle in her body was tense. “I initially started going so we would have something in common, but I really liked it. I never got super into the nutrition aspect of it, but I eat healthy enough.” She motioned at her body. “I like food. I like working out. I like giving women like my mom a safe place. It all came together in Transcend.”
Roman was so still, he might not have breathed the entire time she spoke. “I’m sorry your father was such a piece of shit.”
“Me, too.” Once upon a time, she’d wondered if her being born was the thing that ruined her parents’ relationship, but Allie had seen too much—heard too many stories out of the same playbook—for that guilt to hold any water. Her father would have been the same if it was a different woman, whether there was a child or not, regardless of the external stressors he liked to blame for his flying off the handle.
She looked at Roman and tried to picture him drinking so much he actually hurt a woman—anyone, really—and couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Maybe she was being naive, because he had a ruthless streak a mile wide, but nothing about him rang that warning bell. Why am I even thinking about this?
Because you can’t afford not to.
Except this ends when we go back to New York, so it won’t matter what he’s like when he’s not on vacation because you won’t be around to see it.
The thought had her sagging in her seat. She poked at her food again. Wanting more with Roman was out of the question. The whole condition of their being together was not to talk about the most important thing in their respective lives—her gym and his work. It wasn’t sustainable.
But part of her wanted it to be.
ROMAN SAW THE exact moment Allie started to shut him out. He’d been pushing it with that question and he’d known it, but there was too much he didn’t know about her. He should be prodding her with questions to help spin things to his advantage, but the only reason Roman had asked was because he genuinely wanted to know.
He cleared his throat. “I envy you, in a way.”
“Why’s that?” The distance in her blue eyes retreated, leaving her present and accounted for.
In for a penny, in for a pound. She’d bared part of herself with that little window into her past—he couldn’t do anything less than the same. “I mentioned before that my parents weren’t around much when I was a kid.” He snorted. “I might have understated it. They were gone more often than they were there. There was nothing traumatic about my upbringing, other than a bit of benign neglect, but when I was younger, I would have given my left arm to have designated time with either of them like you had with your mom.”
Allie leaned forward, now fully engaged. “Why didn’t they have more kids, if only to give you someone who wouldn’t leave?”
“My mother didn’t like being pregnant all that much, and she wasn’t a fan of what came after, either.” He made a face. “Hearing that at the tender age of five was eye-opening, to say the least.”
“Oh, Roman.”
“No, none of that.” He casually slashed his hand through the air. “I don’t need pity any more than you do. All my needs were met and my parents loved me in their own way. They just loved each other and travel a bit more. I had a whole staff of people who ensured I didn’t turn out a monster, though I wager my nanny, Elaine, would feel differently if she’d lived to see me as a business acquisitions consultant.” At her raised eyebrows, he continued, “She found money to be a necessary evil but always told me that she hoped I’d pick a good honest job that didn’t revolve around it.”
He hadn’t thought about that conversation in over a decade. Elaine had passed when he was in his first year of college, and by that time he was firmly in his rebellious stage. Too much drinking, too many girls, too many attempts to do something crazy enough to force his parents to acknowledge him. Elaine’s death had snapped him out of it like being thrown into a freezing ocean. He’d taken a good hard look at his life and realized that the only person he was hurting was himself. His parents would never change who they were, and trying to push them to be different was a lesson in futility.
Roman shook his head. “This got heavy. Sorry.”
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I appreciate your sharing. It’s kind of strange that we don’t know much about each other, but...” Allie motioned between them.
“We fuck like we were made for each other.” He wished he could recall the coarse words the second they were out of his mouth. He and Allie had bypassed mere fucking days ago. This was something on another level and cheapening it was a shitty thing to do.
She smiled. “Exactly that.”
It stung that she agreed with him so quickly, but had he really expected anything else? In an effort to distract them both, he said, “So how did you meet Becka?”
As she launched into a tale of two broke college students desperate enough to take second jobs at the scary campus gym, he sat back and indulged in watching the animated way she spoke. Allie really was beautiful. He’d known that, of course—he had two eyes in his head, after all—but she was beautiful right down to the core. A genuinely good person.
Let me help you.
He couldn’t say it. Even talking about the gym in more abstract forms had caused her to shut him out. Trying to talk more explicitly was a recipe for disaster. He had to play the game within the terms they’d set out. It was the only way.
“You’re not even listening.” She didn’t say it like she was mad—just stating a fact.
“I am.” Roman managed a smile. “That boss you had at the campus gym sounds like a real piece of work—though he should have been reported for forcing you to be in those conditions.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Okay, that’s a neat trick. You were a million miles away, but you still retained everything I said. That’s nuts.”
“Necessary evil.” Though he’d never once been called on it before now. “I learned early in my career that it’s best to have several options for plans by the end of a meeting with a new client—that means listening to what they’re saying while still thinking strategically to create a game plan. They fill out preliminary information, of course, but until I meet them face-to-face, I rarely know exactly what they’re looking for.” He shrugged. “Some things sound better on paper than they are in reality.”
Allie bit her bottom lip, and
