he was just as he had been the night before, leaning against the headboard and waiting for her. He smiled as she entered the room, and moved on the mattress to give her space. As she approached, he gave a single disappointed glance at the gown she was wearing.
Without a second thought, she removed it, draped it over the foot of the bed and climbed naked into the bed beside him. Then she very deliberately rubbed her bare leg against his in a way guaranteed to arouse him.
She felt him start and pull away. For a moment, it almost seemed that he would climb from the opposite side of the bed to get away from her.
She made to withdraw. ‘If you do not want...’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I mean, yes. Stay. Just like this.’ He had relaxed again, drawing her closer, wrapping his arms about her so her breasts pressed into his side. ‘It is just that, as I have told you before, there is no need to rush.’
‘Oh,’ she said, trying not to sound vexed. In her opinion, just the opposite was true. The sooner they were done, the sooner she could put aside the disquieting feelings he raised in her, and restore peace to her mind.
He took a breath. ‘And I must be truthful. After last night, I am somewhat concerned about the way things might proceed this evening.’
‘Did I do something to displease you?’ she said, searching her brain for an answer.
‘No,’ he said hurriedly and touched her chin with a fingertip, tipping her head up to offer a long, slow kiss. When they parted, he spoke again. ‘Perhaps I did not make myself clear this morning. Last night, you were all I could have hoped for. It is obvious that you know how to pleasure me.’
She nodded in agreement. She had taken a portion of the day to search his rooms for some clue to the diamonds. She had found nothing exceptional, other than a collection of rather risqué etchings in the table by the bedside, that might serve as instruction should she need to maintain his interest in her.
‘I am ashamed for ever doubting you,’ he said. ‘Your beauty is unparallelled. Your devotion to me unwavering. And last night? Your touch was heaven. Though I cannot remember what was in our past, I have no trouble imagining our future together.’
‘Then you have no reason for concern,’ she said, trying to empty her mind of anything but the moment. Tempting as it was, she dare not think such things herself. If she stayed, disaster was almost inevitable. But there was something very unnerving about the way he reached to the core of her heart when he spoke.
‘I do,’ he insisted. ‘While you know just what it is that I enjoy, I still cannot remember the details of our life together.’
‘What do you wish to know?’
‘For example, I do not know if you prefer the left side of the bed, or the right.’
‘The left,’ she said automatically. Then she remembered that it would have been better to allow him to choose.
‘Which is where you are now,’ he said, satisfied. ‘Perhaps I do remember, for it feels very natural to have you here.’
He was probably confusing her with someone else who had shared his bed. The thought was strangely annoying. But if he was happy, then what did it matter?
‘And last night,’ he said cautiously. ‘We have done that before, I assume.’
‘Something similar,’ she admitted, not wanting to think how she had gained her knowledge of the male anatomy.
‘It has been some time since I have truly felt myself. You must forgive me if, for any reason, I am not the man I was.’
‘It will not matter,’ she said and then lied through her teeth. ‘You are still my husband.’
‘As your husband, I owe you what you have given to me,’ he said firmly. ‘I am sorry,’ he said with a sad smile, ‘that I cannot remember the details of it.’
The conversation was beginning to worry her. If their bed became a place for talk, and the sharing of secrets, she would soon make a slip that could not be explained away. Better to distract him with her body, as she had last night, and save conversation for breakfast, when she had her wits about her. ‘The past does not matter,’ she said. ‘Only the present. And your happiness.’ She gave him what she hoped was an encouraging kiss and ran a hand down his body to be sure he was ready. Then, she stretched out on her back, legs sprawled, waiting.
He remained, propped on his elbow, watching her. Then he cleared his throat. ‘This is embarrassing to admit. But you will know soon enough, so I had best simply put it out there. I do not remember how to love you.’ He had paused before he said it, sounding almost sincere in his apprehension.
She rolled on to her elbow to stare back at him.
‘You have forgotten how to...’ Was that even a thing that could be forgotten? How was she to describe it to him without resulting to crass gestures and words that no lady should know?
He laughed, relaxed on to the mattress and reached for her, rolling her so that her body was on top of his. The suddenness of it left her breathless. ‘Clearly, I married you not for your extreme beauty, but for your sense of humour. I am not so damaged that I could forget that, Justine. And you should know by now that some parts of the act are autonomic.’
He meant the erection pressing into her belly as she moved on top of him. As she slid her bare leg against his it grew even harder. She felt a sudden, nervous swooping in the pit of her stomach, at the thought of it, sliding into her body. She wet her lips. ‘I am aware of that.’
‘My response to you is not at issue. You are a beautiful woman. If there is strength in my body to act at all, I will know how to take pleasure in you.’
She nodded. What man did not know how to take from a woman, without thinking?
He smiled and kissed her again, short and quick. ‘What I do not remember is how to make love to you. As opposed to some other woman, I mean. I do not remember the things that are most important, the things that make you different from all others. I have forgotten how to give you pleasure.’
Help my sister. Give me the diamonds. Let me leave. Those things above all others would be the best way to make her happy. But that was not what he was wondering about. ‘If you are pleased, then I shall be as well,’ she said, straddling him and hoping that this would be enough to end the talking so that they might commence and be done with it, before she lost her nerve. She gave a nudge with her hips, then she set about clearing her mind, forcing herself to relax so that he might enter her easily. Better to think of nothing at all, during the act, than the disquieting thoughts he insisted on raising in her. She wanted to be in another world entirely: a garden, the sea. Anywhere but in a bed feeling lips and skin, and the loss of her own will.
Still, he did not move, other than to shift the thing growing between them to a more comfortable position. ‘Anything I like?’ he repeated, with a sigh. ‘So you said, last night. And this morning as well. While what happened last night was very nice—’
She frowned. It had been better than nice. She had been sure of it.
‘—tonight, I am seeking mutual pleasure.’ He gave her a wicked grin. ‘Ladies first, as they say. Now, where would you like me to start?’
