knew she was trying to be nonchalant, but I could see the vulnerable curve of her bottom lip and the slight quiver in it.
My chest tightened.
Goddammit.
‘Poppy,’ I began, not really sure of what I was going to say, but she got in first.
‘Better get back to those “tasks”.’ She drew the last word out, making it sound as if it tasted like poison. ‘Thanks for the fuck.’
‘Poppy,’ I said again.
But she was already turning around and striding to the door of my office. She pulled it open and walked through and I braced myself for a slam.
It didn’t come. She shut it gently and somehow that was worse.
Somehow it felt like she was closing something inside of me at the same time.
I tried to bury myself in that goddamn spreadsheet for the rest of the afternoon, but I couldn’t concentrate.
She was just outside my door, sitting in that seat, with her lovely skin and soft hair. With her beautiful body. Doing the tasks I’d set her. Wanting more from me and not getting it.
I could feel the pull towards her, the urge to go out there and get her to come back inside my office. The urge to order her to take off her clothes and kneel before me, take my cock in her mouth and suck me.
It would turn her on, get her off.
It would be what we both wanted.
Fuck.
Towards the end of the afternoon, the door of my office abruptly opened and Leon, my middle brother, walked in.
I was pacing near the meeting table by the window, the printouts spread across it. I’d thought moving from my desk to the table would help my concentration, but apparently not.
‘Christ,’ I snapped. ‘Don’t you know how to knock?’
He gave me a grin and wandered over to one of the chairs near the table, sitting down in a lazy sprawl. ‘Where’s Poppy? Wasn’t she supposed to be working here today?’
I looked towards the door of my office, though it was closed. ‘She’s not out there?’
‘Nope.’ Leon glanced at his watch. ‘Then again, it is six o’clock, so she’s probably gone home.’
I turned away, moving over to the windows.
So she’d gone, and without saying goodbye.
Irrational disappointment joined my ever-present simmering anger, though I didn’t know what I’d expected. I’d been a prick to her, which made her coming in to let me know she was leaving incredibly unlikely.
‘She’d better have stayed till five,’ I growled, staring at the view outside.
There was a silence.
‘You seem to be bothered,’ Leon drawled. ‘Anything in particular bothering you? No, wait, I can guess. A million bucks says it’s Poppy.’
I glowered out of the window. ‘You’ve been talking to Ajax, haven’t you?’
‘I don’t need Ajax to tell me when the issue is a woman. Believe me, I know all about that.’
He probably did. He’d got married not too long ago to a brilliant chemist and had been in a revoltingly good mood ever since.
‘Did you want something, Leon? Because I’ve got something important I need to finish up.’
‘A word of advice.’
‘That I didn’t ask for.’
‘Don’t be a dick,’ Leon continued, ignoring me. ‘You two sniping at each other instead of talking is ridiculous.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘Rich coming from you.’
‘I realise that,’ he admitted. ‘But... Vita has helped me see things a bit differently.’
‘I have work to do. I don’t need to hear about your personal realisations.’
Leon laughed, which was unexpected. ‘I’ve been there, Xan, believe me. Right where you are now and it’s hell. But for what it’s worth...’ I could hear him getting to his feet. ‘You should pull out the stick that’s up your ass and go talk to her. Sort this bullshit out once and for all.’
I said nothing, not even bothering to turn around.
I didn’t want to talk to her. There were other things I wanted to do instead.
‘What did she ever do to you?’ Leon asked after a moment. ‘Or is this all because you want to fuck her? Because Jesus, Xan, you’re not a teenager any more. You’re a goddamn adult and if that’s your issue, you need to deal with it.’
‘It’s not that simple,’ I growled. ‘Christ, I wish it was. But it’s not.’
‘Then what is the issue?’
I shut my eyes. No one knew about what I’d done with Poppy’s father’s money, about my role in his downfall. That was the one thing Dad had done for me at least: he’d kept it secret.
‘I’m responsible for her father’s death,’ I said at last. ‘And she doesn’t know.’
Poppy
IT WAS ELEVEN at night and I paced back and forth in my bedroom, as furious with Xander now as I had been two days earlier.
At the way he’d dismissed me after basically taking me apart over his desk. Looking at me like I was nothing but dirt under his shoe after I’d confessed the most private, the most embarrassing thoughts I’d had about him. It still made me cringe, that I’d told him I wished he could have calmed and stroked me like that dog. That he’d made me beg him to fuck me and only then had he made me come.
That I’d come so hard I’d cried.
It had been the most amazing experience of my life and then he’d dismissed me as if I was nothing.
Yeah. Nothing you didn’t deserve.
The guilt I always carried with me whispered in my head, insidious and bitter, but I shoved it away. This had nothing to do with Dad’s death or my role in it.
No, this was all to do with Xander and the past two days of him ignoring me, striding past me at work as if I didn’t exist. Emailing me lists of tasks and not even bothering to speak to me about them.
And when I was the one who had to speak to him, he wouldn’t look at me. He kept his attention
