‘What the fuck are you doing?’ demanded a gruff voice as I span and smacked my eye straight into the door handle.
‘OhmygodImsosorry,’ I squealed, trying to get out but my stupid heels wouldn’t let me move fast enough. My eye throbbed as I fumbled for the handle but the door had got stuck shut again. I just had to get out of there.
‘Angela?’
I froze on the spot and wondered if there was any chance I could actually will myself backwards in time. Of course it wasn’t a stranger that I had just busted getting hot and heavy in a toilet, that would be too easy. Of course it was James. And of course everyone would assume I’d come in here to join in. But if he wasn’t in here with me, who the hell did he have pressed up against the wall?
‘Oh shit.’
I opened my eyes slowly. Standing close to James, hands lost in his brown curls, the same curls I’d been twirling around my fingers minutes ago, was a very flustered-looking Blake. And while James had managed not to give me stubble burn when he kissed me, Blake wasn’t quite so talented. James’s smooth tanned jaw line was red raw, his eyes wide and dark.
‘I–I have to pee,’ I said, stunned. Without words, Blake’s arms dropped to his sides. He looked from me to James and then back again before shoving me out of his way (which really only left into the wall) and yanking the toilet door open.
‘Angela, I can explain,’ James said quietly. ‘It’s not what it looks like.’
‘I really need to pee,’ I repeated, staring at the floor.
‘Right, OK.’ James wiped his mouth hastily. ‘I’ve, erm, called the car for you. And I’ll wait outside. I should explain or something. I want to explain. I’ll just wait outside.’
James closed the door carefully behind him but I still couldn’t move. As if I needed more evidence that Jenny was right. I really was stupid when it came to boys.
Eventually I snapped out of my trance, peed and washed my hands, but I really didn’t want to go back out into the bar. What was I going to say? What was James going to say? And was Blake actually going to be done with it and murder me now? I just couldn’t quite believe what I’d seen.
I stared at myself in the mirror. Not a good sight. My hair was a total mess, my eyeliner was smudged halfway down my face and apparently shock did nothing for my complexion. I’d never seen myself look so pale. I took my Stila convertible colour out of my bag. Perhaps if I looked better, I’d feel better. I smudged the fuchsia pink onto my cheeks and lips. Or perhaps I’d look like a very surprised clown. I felt so stupid. How could I not have seen this?
Opening the toilet door and crossing everything I could in the hope that James and Blake had left, I headed back into the bar. There they were, standing opposite me, James looking absolutely terrified, Blake with a surprisingly blasé look on his face. He raised an eyebrow at me, whispered something to James and then left.
‘So,’ James pressed his lips into a thin line. The lips I’d kissed. The lips that had kissed Blake.
I stood and stared at the floor.
‘Angela, we have to talk about this,’ he went on.
‘No, really, we don’t,’ I replied. I just wanted to be away from him. I wanted to be back at home, wrapped up in my duvet with Alex.
‘Angela, please.’ He stepped forward and held out his hand, but I shot back. It was too much, I needed to leave.
‘James, please, I just want to go home,’ I said, shrinking away from his hands and starting out through the bar. I’d got as far as the door before he came after me.
‘Wait!’ James shouted. Everyone between him, me and the door stopped everything they were doing and stared. He made the space up between us in moments. ‘We have to talk about what you – what you think you saw,’ he added quietly.
‘You mean you kissing Blake?’ I asked.
James went slightly grey and pushed me out through the door.
‘Please, don’t,’ he said, putting a firm arm around my shoulders.
‘What? You weren’t kissing Blake?’ I tried to shake him off. ‘Let me guess, you were giving him mouth to mouth?’
‘Angela, honestly, there are people, paps, everywhere.’ James gestured to the street below us and tried to steer me towards a parked Lexus at the side of the road. ‘Just get in your car and I’ll explain.’
‘Explain that you were kissing Blake?’ I asked.
The pack of paps at the bottom of the stairs all turned together.
‘James, over here!’ one of them sniped behind a sea of popping flashbulbs. ‘Give us a smile?’
‘Well?’ I stopped on the steps and shrugged. ‘Are you going to tell them or am I?’
‘Why don’t you tell us, honey?’ he called back. ‘We’ve heard James’s side of the story a whole bunch of times before.’
‘Angela, please,’ James held on to my hand and squeezed. ‘Don’t.’
I paused and looked back at him. He really was disgustingly beautiful. But I had never ever been so angry with someone in my entire life.
‘No. No way, you’re completely out of order and—’
Before I could finish, James grabbed my face in his hands and planted a deep kiss on my lips. Well that was one way to shut someone up. My traitor eyes closed instinctively; I knew the flashbulbs were going into overdrive all around us, but he suddenly dipped me so low that there was no way I could wriggle free. Before I could think of anything, James pulled back, scooped me up and dived into the waiting car. The shock of the freezing cold air-con, the soft leather seat and the speed at which the car tore off from the pavement shocked me into silence.
‘Angela, I’m really sorry.’
I stared at the back of the seat in front of me.
‘It’s just … it’s complicated.’
Absolute silence.
‘I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. Not really.’
I turned to face him.
‘You didn’t mean to lead me on?’
‘No.’
‘So you didn’t mean to kiss me when we were dancing?’
‘Well …’
‘And you didn’t mean to flirt with me all week?’
‘No, that’s not what I meant.’
‘So you haven’t been flirting with me all week?’
‘This isn’t what was supposed to happen.’
I turned back to stare at
