outside. ‘Why are we rushing?’
‘Because we have to queue,’ he said, sticking his head out of the window to check the traffic.
45th, 44th, 43rd …
‘Queue for what?’ I was trying not to be incredibly irritating but I had a mouth like Ghandi’s flip-flop. ‘Please can we just stop and get a drink?’
‘It’s a surprise,’ he said, squeezing my leg and still looking out of the window as though he could will the traffic to move more quickly. ‘Trust me, I’ll get you a dozen drinks once we’re there.’
37th, 36th, 35th, 34th …
‘Thanks, man,’ Alex tossed some cash at the driver. ‘Just let us out here.’ He pulled me out onto the street and checked his watch. ‘Perfect. Now, you wanted a drink?’
I nodded. This wasn’t quite the princess treatment I’d been getting used to from Tyler. Alex pointed at a cart on the corner, selling pretzels and, thank God, freezing cold cans of Pepsi. I wrestled a dollar out of my jeans pocket, too busy trying to get my sugary caffeine fix to realize where we were.
‘You want to go inside now?’ Alex asked, a bemused look on his face while he watched me neck the entire can in less than a minute. I had to admit, it was more to prove a point than anything else, drinking fizzy stuff that quickly just makes me feel sick. I didn’t care how cute he looked, standing grinning at me with his arms folded, while I guzzled my Pepsi.
‘Inside where?’ I asked, draining the can and giving a dramatic, satisfied sigh.
Alex shook his head and pointed upwards. ‘Honestly, you try and do something romantic …’
I craned my neck up and stared into the skyline. We were at the foot of the tallest building I’d ever seen.
It was the Empire State Building.
I grabbed onto Alex’s arm to stop myself falling over. ‘We’re going up there?’ I asked, breaking into a huge grin.
‘We are,’ he nodded. ‘If you still want to. I know you said you wanted to, but I didn’t know if you’d managed it yet.’
‘No,’ I shook my head and steadied myself for another look up into the cloudless sky, ‘I still haven’t been. And it’s all I’ve wanted to do.’
‘You said.’ He smiled and let me stand staring, even though we were clearly in everyone’s way. I didn’t care, it was amazing. I’d only been in New York for a week and a half and I’d already become oblivious to anything that wasn’t directly in front of me. The city was the opposite of an iceberg. What you saw on the surface, what was right in your face every day, that was only a third of it, the rest was up in the sky.
‘And we have to be up there for sunset,’ Alex said, finally pulling me away from the street corner and towards the entrance.
We queued slowly, moving up and down the lines with hundreds of tourists. It was weird, I really didn’t consider myself to be one. Not while I could feel Alex squeezing my hand every time I went silent to stare out of the windows. And queuing is hardly a chore when you have a super hot man kissing your neck and telling you how gorgeous you are for half an hour. By the time we got up to the top, I was pretty much desperate for some air and had forgotten what I was there for entirely. Alex pulled me straight through the racks and racks of wonderfully crappy souvenirs in the gift shop and out to the south side of the observation deck.
I stopped in the doorway for a second, readying myself to take it all in. And it was genuinely, heart-stoppingly beautiful.
Once I had my breath back and had been pushed and pummelled by half a dozen high-school kids, I spotted Alex. He had squeezed himself into a prime position to watch the sunset spread itself across the skyline, and without words, he pulled me in and moved behind me to rest his chin on my shoulder. I shivered and snuggled backwards into him. I wasn’t dressed for the altitude, but before I could so much as break into a goosebump, Alex was slipping off his beat-up leather jacket and slipping it on my shoulders, wrapping his arms around me. The city sighed beneath us, preparing itself for the shift from day to night. Lights began to ripple off then on from the southern tip of the island upwards, as people made their journeys from work to home. I worked my fingers into the metal bars and felt my entire body give. It made the views from Mary’s office, from my room at The Union, look like something from a View-Master toy. It made this whole New York adventure real.
‘Isn’t it great?’ I asked Alex. ‘How can anything be so confusing and shitty when this is so beautiful?’
‘Pretty much everything up here is beautiful,’ Alex whispered, nuzzling my hair. ‘It looks unreal when it snows or when there’s a storm. Just like a painting. Pretty cold though.’
‘I was going to say, I can imagine,’ I said, eyes fixed on the Statue of Liberty, which was blinking at us in the distance. ‘But I really can’t.’
‘Well, we’ll just have to come and see it next time it snows,’ he replied.
I nodded happily, still searching the horizon for confirmation that everything was going to be OK. And then I realized what he’d said. ‘But, I won’t be here when it snows,’ I said, tensing up. ‘I’ll have to go home when my visa waiver thingy expires.’
‘You never know where you’re going to be,’ Alex said, brushing my hair aside and kissing my neck to melt away the tension. ‘Six months ago, did you know you would be here, now?’
‘I didn’t know I’d be here six week ago,’ I said, leaning into him again. ‘I don’t know where I’ll be six weeks from now.’
‘Does it matter right now?’ he asked, his warm lips tracing a path down to my collarbone. ‘Here with me, home in London, surfing in Honolulu?’
This time, my whole body tensed and I shook my hair back into the path of his kisses.
‘Can I ask you something?’ he said, gently turning me around to face him. I looked past him, avoiding his eyes, but nodded. ‘Why did you cry when you saw the painting?’
‘It’s an emotional painting.’ I offered, not even believing it myself.
‘It is, it’s a heartbreaking painting, but I’ve never seen anyone have that reaction to it before and I’m there all the time,’ he said. I flickered my eyes across his face. He looked genuinely concerned. ‘You can talk to me about stuff, you know? I don’t want to think you can’t because of all those dumb rules your friend was telling you.’
‘It’s not about that.’ I shook my head, refusing to cry. This was supposed to be fun, this was what I’d dreamed of. ‘It’s other stuff, home stuff. The fact that I don’t have a home, stuff.’
‘Want to elaborate?’ he asked, placing what was supposed to be a comforting hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off and turned back to the city. Here it comes, I thought, here’s the big messy break-up story. ‘I’m a pretty good listener for a guy.’
‘OK, I’m just going to tell you all of it and then, when you’ve finished laughing, you can be on your way,’ I said, leaning my head on my hands and taking a deep breath.
Alex
