permissions.” He laughed and it sounded like sunshine. “They love making it hard. Big towns, small towns, doesn’t matter, something always crops up. Don’t worry, we’ll fix it.”
I felt like Kai could fix anything. He was the sort of guy other men listened to and respected. Calmness radiated off him, and you couldn’t help nodding your head and agreeing when he spoke. I missed him, hearing his voice. Missed him roaming around Cedarwood, double-checking the work, making sure it was right. Even missed contorting my body at strange angles under the cover of darkness with him.
“Are you getting a handle on the city?” I said, suddenly not sure I wanted the conversation to end there.
He sighed. “Sort of. It’s just too cramped for me. There’s people everywhere, all the time. No chance of hearing myself think, not in this chaos. What did I expect, though, really? It’s San Francisco.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t sound like it’s your thing at all. Can’t you ask for a different job?” Kai needed to be free, outside being one with nature, away from the hustle and bustle, but I guess he didn’t have a choice. He went where the work was.
“Gotta see it through.”
Neither of us mentioned the kiss and it felt like it was too late now, like it would fall into the conversation chunkily, and jar.
“Cedarwood feels so different without you, and the team. But my friend Amory is here, and Isla and Micah, so I feel like I’ve got a ready-made family, but I brace myself for them leaving too one day. I wonder if I’ll get used to goodbyes or if they’ll always break my heart just a little.”
He remained silent for the longest time, before saying, “Goodbyes that break your heart mean at least you feel something. And that’s what counts, right? Otherwise all you feel is a certain numbness and that’s even worse…”
Was there something upsetting Kai? Something other than city life? It struck me maybe his exit from Australia hadn’t been as simple as he’d made out. Had he left some hurt behind? I’d never questioned it before, but he’d always been cool and calm, and now his voice had an edge to it, a touch of bitterness, though he tried to disguise it.
“Maybe a quick visit to Cedarwood will do you good,” I said softly.
“I think it’ll do me just fine. Say hi to everyone for me.”
When we rang off I sat for a while, gazing outside, the view stunning as ever and a balm for the soul. My mind was still going a hundred miles an hour with all the things I had to remember to finish. I still had to check in with Georges and taste-test the canapés, but for a few minutes I just sat there alone and wondered if I should try and fit some midnight yoga in tonight. Would it be the same without Kai?
The kitchen gleamed. Georges had tidied after we’d feasted on a range of mouthwatering canapés, and hugged us before heading off, promising everything was set for the bridal expo the next day. Amory made us cups of cocoa, and topped them with marshmallows that frothed and dissolved on the surface.
I said, “If the chapel doesn’t get approved, we can’t really take any wedding bookings in good faith, can we?” When the lodge was silent, bar its creaks and groans, reality had a tendency to come creeping in.
Soberly, Amory replied, “It’s definitely a worry, darling. But we’ve faced greater obstacles than this. Let’s focus on getting all the paperwork in order for Ned, so he can see you’ve paid for professionals to fix those structural elements, and you’ve met all the safety requirements they stipulate and then some.”
“Yes,” I said, sipping cocoa, trying to let her words sink in… but still, so much hung in the balance. I couldn’t get Ned to sign off on the chapel if he was adamant it needed more work. And with the brides arriving the next morning, it made it almost impossible to forget.
Soft moonlight shone through the kitchen window. The lodge at nighttime was a beautiful thing, with only the hoot of owls punctuating the quiet.
“Let’s focus on what we need to do and hope Kai comes through for us. Yeah?”
For once Amory didn’t joke, didn’t try and lighten the mood. She always understood me so well, sometimes better than I did myself. And she knew the only way to stop stressing about it was to think of the brides, and making their time at Cedarwood magical.
“OK,” I said. “Georges is well prepped for their arrival. Canapés first, followed by a festive lunch. The champagne is cooling, though we’ll have to make room in one of the big fridges for the bouquets. The florist will be here by eight, and will decorate the table centerpieces, the chapel, and the suites.”
Hope shone in her eyes. “Can you imagine how delicious this place will smell? Georges’s amazing cooking and an abundance of bouquets?”
Splashes of color everywhere would brighten up the lodge, and make it so much more feminine. “It’ll be beautiful. Micah’s just setting up the stage for the orchestra now.”
Amory took out her phone, and flicked open her notes section. We spent the next couple of hours making sure we hadn’t forgotten any detail, no matter how small.
“I’m going to call it a night,” I said, rubbing my belly, full after far too many cups of cocoa and a midnight snack of warm mince pies that we’d pulled out of the oven on Georges’s instruction.
“I’ll tidy this up, and I might head to bed too,” she said. “Though I’m kind of wired… the usual pre-event insomnia, no doubt.”
I gave her a big bear hug, grateful from my head to my toes she was here with me. “Thank you for everything, Amory. There’s no way I could have done any of this without you.”
She hugged me back hard and said, “As if, darling. You’re a star and you know it. I could live here for ever and not miss New York, you know, so please don’t kick me out any time soon. When you left, Manhattan lost its shine. I love working with you. We make a good team.”
“The dream team. Stay for ever, Amory.” She was a city girl through and through, and I’d thought, despite what she said, that her time here would be short-lived, while she worked through her feelings for Cruz. Hope bloomed that she might stay for good, but then guilt tapped me on the shoulder that it would come at the detriment to her relationship if so.
Trudging upstairs, I washed up, and did an Amory, throwing my clothes to the floor, and falling into bed in an exhausted heap. Just when I thought I’d nod off, Amory’s voice rang out sharp in the silence. What now?
The front door banged shut, and her voice carried up the stairwell. Who was she arguing with? A man’s voice drifted up, quieter, trying to calm her down.
Curiosity got the better of me, so I grabbed my robe and went to investigate.
I stopped at the top of the stairs and peeked down. Cruz!
“You don’t get it,” she said. “And you never will!”
He caught her by the elbow as she tried to stomp away. “Why is expressing my love for you so wrong?”
She
