no, no. I am going to guide you through your Chrysalis experience.”
“Oh, dear,” Jessica mumbled, and sent Kade a pleading look. Get me out of here. But Kade folded his arms over his chest and shrugged slightly. Let’s just go with it.
“I will have you fixed up in no time. In fact, I will love working with you. Caterpillar to butterfly, as our name suggests. I’m Holly, by the way.”
The girl’s enthusiasm was so genuine that Jessica could not even stir herself to annoyance at being called, basically, an insect pupa.
“Usually, I would ask about your lifestyle, but today I think you’re looking for some things that are easier to get in and out of, aren’t you?”
Kade frowned at Holly. “We were hoping for someone more like the salesclerk in Pretty Woman. You know? If you could just be snotty, and then I flash my gold card at you and you fall all over yourself trying to help us out.”
Holly laughed. “Well, I like the gold card part. And I always fall all over myself trying to help people out.” She looked at Jessica. “How would you feel if I just put you in a change room and found some things that I think would work for you?”
Jessica should be insulted. She was obviously being told she could not be trusted to pick out her own things, but given the dress she had on, could she blame the girl?
“I like to encourage everyone to let me pick some things for them,” Holly said. “You know, people get in shopping ruts.”
Out of the corner of her vision, Jessica saw Kade roll his eyes at the near religious fervor Holly apparently had for the shopping experience.
Undaunted, Holly went on. “They pick variations of the same thing for themselves over and over. Sometimes a fresh eye can be amazing. And then, you can model what I pick out for you for your extremely handsome boyfriend.”
“Husband,” Kade said. “Though I like the handsome part.”
“Oh, sorry. No rings,” Holly said. She squinted at him. “Though you look as though you’ve had one on recently.”
Jessica’s gaze flew to Kade’s ring finger. Sure enough, a white band of skin marked where his wedding ring had been. The band had been there recently, obviously, since such marks faded rather quickly. What did it mean that he had worn his ring so recently?
Stay in the moment, she ordered herself sternly. She had one mission today. To have fun. To let go. To be free. And if she ended up, with Holly’s help, looking a little bit better than she looked right now, she’d go with that, too.
For once, Jessica felt no desire at all to hide behind their upcoming divorce.
She followed Holly obediently to the back of the store. There was a classy sitting area there for Kade, complete with a comfy deep upholstered chair and a huge flat-screen TV. Holly handed him the remote, and then shooed Jessica into an opulent change room.
Minutes later, she was back. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I brought you this.” She held up a bra. “Front closing.”
And sexy as all get out. Jessica took the bra with her good hand and suddenly ached to put it on. To give herself permission to be feminine and beautiful.
She had not felt like a beautiful woman since her husband had left her. Despite career success, somehow she carried loneliness and defeat within her.
A thought, unwelcome, came out of nowhere.
Had she been planning on using a child to combat her pervasive feeling of inadequacy? She shook off the shadow that passed over her. Today was just about fun. She had given herself over to introspection quite enough in the past year.
“You are a lifesaver,” Jessica told Holly, and then surrendered to the process. She allowed herself to be spoiled completely. Holly did have an exceptional eye for fashion, and along with the bra, she had soon provided Jessica with a stack of clothing topped by a filmy jade silk top.
None of it was anything Jessica would have chosen for herself. She had become the master of understated. Almost all her clothes were in neutrals, grays and taupes, as if, she realized with a start, she was trying to make herself invisible.
Jessica fingered the silk and felt a pure and simple longing. To be pretty.
It occurred to her she had not cared about being pretty since long before Kade had left her. Since she had lost the second baby.
“This will be amazing with your eyes. And look—Velcro fasteners!”
“You found a top with a Velcro closure? Is this really silk? Where’s the price tag?”
“Your Prince Charming out there told me to take the price tags off.”
“Humph,” she said, but she didn’t feel nearly as annoyed as she should have. She didn’t have to buy it, she reminded herself. She just had to have fun with it.
Soon, the ensemble was completed with an easy-to-pull-on skirt with a flirty hemline and a delicate pair of sandals that Jessica could just slip her feet into.
“You look awesome,” Holly said. “Go show him.”
Jessica stared at herself in the mirror. “Um, I think I look a bit too young.” Plus, the blouse was extremely sheer, which explained Holly bringing a sexy bra with it.
“Nonsense.”
“This looks like something a teenager would wear. Don’t you think the skirt is a little, um, short? Not to mention the blouse is a little, er, see-through.”
“When you have legs like that? Show them off, girlfriend. Same with your other assets. Now go show him! He’ll let you know how right that look is for you.”
Feeling strangely shy about sharing this oddly intimate moment with Kade, the same as she had felt this morning sharing space with him, Jessica exited the change room. Kade had found a football game on TV and didn’t even look impatient. He looked content.
And then he noticed her. He flipped off the sound. His eyes darkened. She suddenly didn’t care how short the skirt was or if the blouse was see-through. She did a saucy little spin.
“Wow,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You look incredible. Two thumbs-up to that one.”
Jessica didn’t just feel beautiful for the first time in a long time. She felt sexy. It felt unbelievably good to feel sexy with no agenda, no calendar lurking in the back of her mind, no temperature to take. It felt, well, fun. And after that, she just gave herself over to the experience completely.
It was fun, having Holly help her in and out of outfits, and then modeling them for Kade, who was a great audience. He raised his eyebrows, and did low wolf whistles and louder ones. He made her feel as if she was not only sexy and beautiful, but as if she was the only woman in the world he felt that way about.
But even so, Jessica had to draw the line somewhere, and she drew it at an evening dress Holly hauled in.
“I have absolutely nowhere to wear such a thing,” she
