voice was husky and it touched on his skin like a caress he wanted to rail against.
He folded his arms. ‘Sorry for what?’
She bit her lip. ‘I wanted you to think that I’d had enough so you’d leave, but that’s not true.’
‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ Luca drawled, and saw how she went even paler.
He cursed out loud and went over to her, taking her by the arm and leading her to a couch to sit down.
‘Serena, so help me God, if this is just some elaborate—’
‘It’s not!’ she cried, her hands gripped together in her lap. ‘It’s not,’ she said again. ‘You were just asking me all these things and I felt threatened... I’ve never told anyone what happened. I’ve always been too ashamed and guilty that I didn’t do something to stop it. And for a long time I doubted that it had even happened...’
Luca knew now that this was no act. Serena was retreating, her mind far away. Instinctively he reached out and took her hands, wrapping them in his. She looked at him and his chest got tight. Damn her.
‘What happened?’
Her hands were cold in his and her eyes had never looked bigger or bluer.
‘I saw my father kill my mother when I was five years old.’
Luca’s mouth opened and closed. ‘You what?’
Serena couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Luca, as if he was anchoring her to something. Her throat felt dry.
‘When I was five I heard my parents arguing...nothing new...they argued all the time. I sneaked downstairs to the study. When I looked in through the crack of the door I could see my mother crying. I couldn’t understand what they were arguing about, although in hindsight I know it was most likely to do with my father’s affairs.’
Luca was grim. ‘What happened?’ he asked again.
‘My father backhanded my mother across the face and she fell... She hit her head on the corner of his desk.’
Serena went inward.
‘All I can remember is the pool of blood growing around her head on the rug and how dark it was. And how white she was. I must have made a sound, or something. The next thing I remember is my father dragging me back upstairs. I was crying for my mother...hysterical. My father hit me across the face...I remember one of my baby teeth was loose and it fell out... A doctor arrived. He gave me an injection. I can still remember the pain in my arm... The funeral...everything after that...was blurry. Siena was only three. But I can remember the doctor coming a lot. And once the police came. But I couldn’t speak to them. I wanted to tell them what I’d seen but I’d been given something that made me sleepy. It didn’t seem important any more.’
Her voice turned bitter.
‘He got it covered up, of course, and no one ever accused him of her death. That’s when it started. By the time I was twelve my father and his doctor were feeding my medication habit. They said I had ADHD—that I was difficult to control. Wilful. That it was for my own good. Then my father started saying things like bi-polar. He was constantly perpetuating a myth of mental uncertainty around me—even to my sister, who always believed that I tried to take my own life.’
‘Did you?’ Luca’s voice was sharp.
Serena shook her head. ‘No. But even though I denied it my sister was programmed by then to believe in my instability just like everyone else. My father even made a pretence of not allowing me to take drugs for the condition—while he was maintaining a steady supply to me through the doctor on his payroll.’
Luca shook his head. ‘But why didn’t you leave when you could?’
Serena pushed down the guilt. She had to start forgiving herself.
‘I couldn’t see a way out. By the time I was sixteen I was living the script my father had written for me years before.’
She reeled off the headlines of the time.
‘I was a wild child. Impossible to tame. Out of control. And I was addicted to prescription drugs... Siena was innocent. The good girl. Even now Siena still retains an innocence I never had. My father played us off against each other. If Siena stepped out of line I got the punishment...never her. She was being groomed as the perfect heiress. I was being groomed as the car crash happening in slow motion.’
Luca’s hands had tightened over hers and it was only then that Serena realised how icy she’d gone.
‘Why haven’t you ever gone to the police about your mother’s death?’
Shame pricked Serena. ‘Who would have believed disgraceful, unstable Serena DePiero? It felt hopeless. I felt hopeless. And in a way I had begun to doubt myself too...had it really happened? Maybe I was dreaming it up? Maybe I was just some vacuous socialite hooked on meds?’
Luca was shaking his head and Serena instantly went colder. She’d been a fool to divulge so much. She pulled her hands back.
‘You don’t believe me.’
Luca’s gaze narrowed and his mouth thinned. ‘Oh, I believe you, all right. It just about makes sense. And I met your father—he was a cold bastard.’ He shook his head. ‘He turned you into an addict, Serena.’
Something fragile and treacherous unfurled inside Serena. Acceptance.
She said huskily, ‘I’m sorry about before. I didn’t want to tell you everything.’
‘So what changed?’
Serena felt as if she was being backed into a corner again, but this time she fought the urge to escape or to push him away. ‘You deserved to know the truth, and I was being less than honest.’
‘Less than honest about what?’
He was going to make her say it.
Serena was captivated by Luca’s gaze. Time seemed to have slowed to a throbbing heartbeat between them. In the same moment she was aware of a giddy rush through her body—a sense of weightlessness. She’d told someone her innermost secrets and the world hadn’t crashed around her.
Serena’s belly swooped and she took a leap into the void. ‘I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night alone. It was just an excuse.’
Luca looked at her and something in his eyes darkened. Desire. He cupped her face in his hands and slanted his mouth over hers in a kiss so light that it broke Serena apart more than the most passionate kisses they’d exchanged.
When he pulled back she kept him close and whispered shakily, ‘Will you stay, Luca?’
She suddenly needed him desperately—needed a way to feel rooted when she might float off altogether and lose touch with the earth.
Luca kissed her mouth again and said throatily, ‘Yes.’
He stood and
