her orgasm against his hand, saw it in her eyes, heard it in her whimpered cries.
She made him feel more of a man...
Long, long minutes later she dropped her feet back into the sand and pushed her hands through her hair. As long as he lived Will knew that he’d never forget Lu standing chest deep in the sea, tipping her face up to catch the last of the sunshine, looking a lot like the mermaid he sometimes imagined her to be.
‘What are we going to do about this, Lu?’ he demanded as they walked back towards the beach. ‘We’re dancing around it and something is going to have to give—soon.’
Lu ran her hands through her hair again, making spikes. ‘I don’t know, Will! I don’t! I know that I want you, but I don’t want to stop having fun with you either—and that was the deal, remember? Sex and you walk. No sex and you don’t.’
‘Whose stupid idea was that?’ he muttered under his breath. ‘Oh, that must have been yours, Scott. Moron.’
It was the deal, and he’d thought it made sense all those weeks back, when his life had made sense. Will grabbed a towel off the beach mat and swiped it across his face. He didn’t know how much longer he could resist her—resist the temptation to take her to bed, to make her his. But she terrified him. She had the ability to make him lose focus, to do the things, feel the things he’d used to when his life had been out of control. Like acting first and thinking later. His life had the potential to spiral out of control when he allowed that side of his personality to rule.
With Lu, his devil-may-care side was demanding a lot more decision making opportunities and—what had Kelby called him?—Mr Disciplined Control was taking a beating.
Either way, he felt as if he was fighting a demonic alien invasion with a water pistol in a desert.
Lu could see all her confusion reflected in Will’s eyes. He wanted her—she’d have to be dead not to realise that—but he didn’t want to want her. As for her, she knew that if they moved from friends to lovers then she would be inviting a whole bunch of complicated craziness into her life. It would be a lot harder to say goodbye to a lover than a friend when he left, and even worse it would be so much more difficult to keep her mind thinking friends, her body thinking lover and her heart out of the equation if she was sleeping with him.
Lu held his gaze, hating his rigid self-control. He wasn’t going to ask her to bed, wasn’t going to take that step. If only they could really talk to each other...
What would she say?
I love spending time with you, she told him silently. But I don’t think that I’m ready for a relationship, strings or not. I’m just getting to know myself again, learning to be on my own. I’m finally coming into myself, learning who I am without the responsibility of raising the twins. If we hook up I’ll have someone back in my life and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Because you are a strong character, a protector, another alpha personality, and when you go I’ll be back to square one, learning to be on my own again.
It was so hard to resist him, and it would be easy to let him slide into all the empty spaces in her heart and home that the boys had left. But for the first time in her life she had to think about what was best for her and, as much as she thought it would be fun, she didn’t think it was a smart move long-term. For the first time in a decade she didn’t have to worry about someone else—and she liked it.
Lu sighed. ‘Will?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Do you know that neither of us has said anything for ten minutes?’
Will shrugged. ‘OK...so?’
‘If we need to think about it so much maybe we should leave things the way they are?’
Will twisted his lips. ‘Confused and horny?’
Give the man another gold star, Lu thought morosely.
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