brother?”
“Yeah. I rang her at lunchtime.”
“How was she?”
“Pissed.”
“Shit, at work?”
“No, skiving; she was in the pub.”
“She’s been doing that a lot recently.”
“Yeah, when she’s not stalking Simone,” Daisy says, and we share a look.
It’s been over a month since Al and Simone split up, but Al’s behaviour is becoming more and more erratic by the day. She’s convinced that Simone left her because she met someone else, and she’s determined to find out who it is. She spends hours on Google, looking for “clues”, and she’s created several false Facebook profiles to try to get access to Simone’s page and the pages of anyone she’s friends with. None of us had seen the split coming, not least Al, who’d been planning on proposing. She’d been saving up for months for a ring and a safari in Kenya so she could propose on an elephant ride – Simone’s favourite animal.
“Here we are, ladies,” the cab driver says over his shoulder as we pull up in front of the neon pink Malice sign.
Daisy pokes a tenner through the glass partition then opens the taxi door. “Let’s go and get Al.”
“Excuse me, darling. Thank you. Excuse me.”
Daisy elbows her way through the throng of bodies clogging up the stairs, and I follow in her wake. We’ve already squeezed our way across the dance floor on the ground level in search of Leanne and Al, but there was no sign of them. No sign of Simone, either.
“Loos!” Daisy twists back and waves her mobile phone at me as she reaches the top of the stairs then takes a left.
I struggle to push my way through the huge crowd of women drinking beer and hanging out outside the women’s loos but finally manage to make my way inside.
“Oi!” A large woman wearing a Superdry T-shirt and oversized jeans shoots out a tattooed arm to bar my way as I attempt to squeeze past her. “There’s a queue.”
“Sorry, I’m just looking for a friend.”
“Emma, in here!” A cubicle door swings open and Daisy waves at me through the gap. She pulls an apologetic face at the woman in the queue. “Sorry, we’re dealing with a crisis in here.”
“Bloody lesbians,” the woman says, “always a melodrama.”
There’s no room for me to squeeze inside the cubicle so I hover outside and poke my head around the door. Al is sitting on the loo with her head in her hands. Leanne and Daisy are pressed up against the walls either side of her. Every couple of seconds, the main door into the loos opens and pumping house music floods the entire space as women file in and out, grumbling as they squeeze past me to find an empty cubicle.
“Al, sweetie.” Daisy hitches up her dress and squats down next to her friend. “Let’s get you home.”
Al shakes her head. The hems of her jeans are wet with rainwater and the laces of one of her trainers are untied. There’s cellophane poking out from beneath the arm of her T-shirt. She’s had another tattoo but I can’t make out what it is.
Leanne catches my eye, as though noticing me for the first time. She’s dyed her fringe pink since the last time I saw her. Her sharp black bob has always looked a bit severe, but with the pink streak and her new thick-rimmed black “geek” specs dominating her thin face, she looks like she’s wearing a motorbike helmet.
She shrugs and angles her arm towards me so I can read the time on her Mickey Mouse watch. It’s midnight. She flashes her fingers at me then holds up two more. Shit, Al’s been drinking for twelve hours.
This isn’t the first time Leanne’s had to call Daisy and me to take Al home. At five foot six, fourteen stone and bull-like in temperament, it takes all four of us to manoeuvre Al anywhere, especially when she’s drunk. Simone used to manage it, but she had an advantage: Al was in love with her. She could always talk her into going home, no matter how much she’d had to drink.
Two of the girls washing their hands in the sink behind me start laughing, and Al looks up.
“Are they laughing at me? Are you fucking laughing at me?” She half rises but Leanne presses down on her shoulder and Daisy grips hold of her wrist so Al is rooted to the toilet.
I glance behind me. “They can’t even see you.”
“They know.” Al runs a hand over her Mohican. “Everyone knows. I’m a fucking laughing stock.”
“No, you’re not,” Daisy says. “Relationships end all the time, Al. No one’s judging you.”
“Oh yeah? Then why did Jess on reception say ‘Ticket for one?’ when I came in?”
“Because you came alone?”
“Oh, fuck off, Daisy” – she yanks her hand out of Daisy’s grip – “what would you know? You haven’t been dumped once in your whole life.”
“Well, I have,” I say, “and I know how much it hurts, especially if they leave you for someone else. I’d had my suspicions about Jake for a while, but then when he—”
“Emma!” Leanne makes a stop talking gesture with her finger across her throat.
“Not that Simone left you for someone else,” I say, but it’s too late. Al’s on her feet and barging past me.
“If she’s here with that fucking bitch, today of all days, I’m going to swing for her. I’ll swing for both of them. Fucking baby dyke bitches.”
“Al!” Daisy totters after her, reaching for her arm. “She’s not worth it. Al!”
“Well done, Emma.” Leanne glares up at me from behind her neon fringe. “I’d just talked her down and you fired her up again.”
“She didn’t look very chilled to me.”
“You didn’t see her before. She was punching the cubicle walls. She nearly got us both thrown out.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
She pushes past me. “You never do, Emma.”
By the time I find the others, they’re standing in the centre of the dance floor downstairs with a circle of people surrounding them. Al is in the middle, jabbing her finger at Simone and some other girl I don’t recognise. Daisy and Leanne are either side of her.
“I fucking knew it,” Al says. “I knew you were sleeping with Gem.”
“Actually” – Simone squares up to her, even though she’s several inches shorter and several stone lighter – “Gem and I got together after we split up, not that it’s any of your business.”
“I think you’ll find it is.” Al turns her attention to the other woman, who takes a
