the kind of monster it would take to do something like this to children,” Joshua said, and then apologized as soon as he realized that Isabel was most likely in the hands of someone like that. By now, she could be pregnant, abused or dead. And that explained the worry lines etched in Alice’s forehead. Being on the job, she would know firsthand what a deviant like Perez would do. And Joshua hated seeing her go through something like this when she should be home with Isabel, doing normal stuff girls do this time of year like holiday shopping.
“No need to be sorry,” she said. “Believe me, it won’t help Isabel.”
“How do you know she didn’t run away? Maybe she needed a change of scenery and she’s somewhere safe in another city,” he offered.
“We’re close and I stay in touch with her foster parents and caseworker. She’s a good girl and she loves my twins.”
Joshua hadn’t thought about the fact that Alice could be married with kids. She’d mentioned her boys earlier but he thought that was part of the lie she was making up about a relationship with Perez. He glanced at her ring finger and stifled the relief that came when he didn’t see a band. But then she wouldn’t wear one while on a case like this. “You’re married?”
“No,” she said.
He didn’t want to admit the relief he felt with her answer. “You have twins?”
“Yeah. Why? You got something against twins?” Her eyebrow spiked.
“Nope. Not me.” Joshua couldn’t help but laugh given that he was a twin. His brother was the oldest by two minutes.
“It’s not funny. I love them with all my heart but those two can be holy terrors.”
“I’m sure they are.” He smiled wryly thinking of all the misadventures he and Ryder had had. He was pretty certain his mother would’ve used that same term to describe the two of them.
“You have kids?” she asked.
“Nope.”
“Then you have no idea what twins are like,” she said so matter-of-factly that he laughed again. “What’s so funny?”
“It’s nothing.” He wondered if his mother would have had the same exacerbation in her voice when describing him and his brother. The fact that she’d had six boys, the last of which were twins, made him certain she would.
* * *
THE COWBOY PUSHED off the bed. He’d done a nice job of dressing her wound.
“Mind if I grab a shower?” he asked.
“Not at all. I’ll clean off the other bed for you,” she said but he waved her off.
“I can manage. I’d rather you get some sleep.” His jacket was already draped over the back of the second dining chair. He tugged his T-shirt up and over his head and then fanned it out to dry on the dresser.
Alice shouldn’t let herself notice the ripples of muscles cascading down his back. He obviously spent some serious time at the gym. Then again, he’d mentioned something about a ranch. Working outside would give a man a body like his.
Tiredness pervaded every one of Alice’s bones. There was no amount of caffeine that could keep her eyes open for much longer but she was so used to fighting sleep that she tossed and turned instead of giving in.
The fact that the cowboy was in the next room cleaning up shouldn’t edge into her thoughts. Or that his body looked made of steel. It had to be the fact that she was overwrought with hormones combined with severe lack of sleep that had her thinking about the water rolling down the ripples in his chest that gave way to a solid six-pack stomach. She’d felt just how strong and masculine he was when her body had been pressed against his at the gas station. A place deep inside stirred, a need she’d felt too many times recently. She wished he could wrap those steel arms around her and make her feel safe.
How tired was she that her mind could wander to such a place given the circumstances? She forced her thoughts to the case and a sense of despair washed over her. It had been weeks since she’d seen her boys and that was probably the reason tears threatened so heavily this time. Or maybe it was the fact that the last lead to find Isabel had disappeared in front of her eyes. Perez wouldn’t be looking for Alice, but if he ever saw her again her cover would be immediately blown. He’d been her last hope to find Isabel. She fingered the pendant on the necklace around her neck, half a heart. The other half belonged to Isabel. When put together they read Best Friends. Isabel had scrimped and saved to purchase the necklaces over the summer. Tears threatened as Alice thought about the gift she’d been planning to give Isabel.
Alice had planned to tell Isabel about her plans to file for adoption. She wanted to be more than a big sister to Isabel. She wanted to be family.
A dark sadness blanketed her like a thick fog rolling in. The clock was ticking, time was running out and Alice didn’t know how much longer she could abandon her boys to chase down clues. Christmas was in three weeks and they deserved to have their mother home with them, too.
Alice hadn’t been completely honest with the cowboy earlier. She’d kept to herself the fact that she’d been forced to step down from the case because she’d gotten too close to an existing investigation with the FBI. Tears spilled and a sob released as she thought about her options.
Alice hated her weakness, but she could no longer hold back the onslaught of emotions bearing down on her, suffocating her.
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