calm, friendly smile for the doctor. He examined Anna and then, swiftly and tactfully, Kate, maintaining a steady flow of conversation while he did so. Excellent bedside manner, Kate decided. She felt confident in having him as their doctor.
‘You are both in excellent health and the little one is just as she should be,’ he assured her when she rejoined him in the sitting room. ‘But you need to rest, Lady Allundale. Rivers told me what a rough time you’ve had of it and I don’t think you have been eating very well, have you? Not for quite a while.’
‘Probably not, Doctor.’
He closed his bag and straightened his cuffs with a glance at Wilson and Jeannie. It seemed he wanted privacy. Kate nodded to the other women. ‘Thank you, I will ring when I need you.’ When they were alone she made herself look him in the eye. ‘There was something you wished to say to me?’
‘I will be frank. I am aware that your marriage only just preceded little Anna’s birth. I am also aware that Grant will fudge the issue, making it seem that yours was a long-standing relationship and that the marriage took place some time ago, but was kept quiet. Probably his grandfather’s ill health can be made to account for that.’
‘I assume that, as a doctor, you will exercise professional discretion.’
‘Certainly.’ He did not appear surprised by the chill in her voice. ‘I simply wished to make the point that—’ He broke off and cursed softly under his breath. ‘This is more difficult than I thought it would be. I wanted to assure you that I will give you all the support I can. I also wonder just how much of Grant’s past history you are aware of.’
She could freeze him out, look down her nose and assume the air of a thoroughly affronted countess or she could take the hand of friendship he appeared to be offering her. She needed a friend.
‘I know nothing. I was not even aware that he was the heir to an earldom when I married him. Nor that he was a widower with a child.’
‘He will tell you himself, I am sure. But he was close to the old earl—Grant’s parents died when he was not much older than Charlie is now. His grandfather brought him up and did a good job of it, for all that he probably leaned too much on the side of tradition and duty. Grant married a suitable young lady, to please his grandfather and do what it seemed was his duty, and talked himself into believing that was how marriage should be.’ He pushed his hand through his sandy hair. ‘I am saying too much, but you have to know this—Madeleine was a disaster. Possibly the only thing that could have made the situation worse was the way she died.’
‘What happened?’ Somehow Kate made herself sit quietly attentive for the answer. She had thought she was coming to some safe, comfortable home. A doctor’s household, decent and respectable. Modestly prosperous. Instead she found herself married to an earl, with his unburied predecessor somewhere in the house. Her husband had married tragically, she had a stepson—and a new baby. And she had the overwhelming feeling that she could not cope with any of this. But she had to. Grant had thrown her a lifeline and she had a duty to repay him by being a proper wife, a good stepmother to Charlie—and, somehow, a passable countess.
‘There was a fire. Rivers was...injured, but he managed to get Charlie out. They couldn’t save Madeleine.’
‘When?’
‘Four years ago. We do not think Charlie remembers any of it, thank God.’
‘That is a blessing.’ Poor little boy. ‘Thank you. Forewarned, at least I can try not to blunder into sensitive areas.’
‘Some blundering might be a good thing, frankly.’ Dr Meldreth stood up. ‘Rivers took it too well, too stoically, for the child’s sake. I am not sure he ever really put it behind him. And now he is bone-weary, he’s exerted himself sooner than he should after a blow to the head and he’s feeling as guilty as hell because he didn’t get back in time to see his grandfather before he died.’
‘I will try to make him rest and hope he feels able to talk to me.’ Kate rose and held out her hand to the doctor. ‘Thank you. It is good to know he has a friend close by.’
‘I’ll be back in a couple of days, unless you send for me earlier.’ Meldreth shook hands briskly. ‘I wasn’t sure whether to mention anything, but Rivers said you’ve got courage, so...’ He shrugged. ‘I’ll see myself down to the study. Good day, Lady Allundale.’
After that it was hard to sit with any composure. So, the situation was such that the good doctor would not have said anything unless he thought she had courage. That was hardly reassuring.
But perhaps it was time she started drawing on that courage, assuming she did actually possess any. If only she did not feel so ignorant. She had experienced the upbringing of any country gentlewoman, with the neighbouring wives doing their best to support a motherless girl. But, although her manners would not disgrace her, she had no experience of the kind of social life Grant would be used to. Now she was presumably expected to know how to greet a duke, curtsy to a queen, organise a reception and look after scores of tenants and staff.
Well, there was no time like the present to begin. Kate rang for Wilson. ‘I do not know when the funeral will be, but I must have respectable mourning clothes.’ If they were going to have to improvise and dye something with black ink, then the sooner they started, the better.
‘It is tomorrow, my lady. His lordship said not to disturb you about it. There’ll just be gentlemen there, no ladies, so you can stay in your rooms.’
Her little burst of energy deflected, Kate sat down again and gazed out at the grey skies, trying to make sense of the world she found herself in and her place in it, and failing miserably. Luncheon was brought up. Grimswade delivered a pile of novels, journals and newspapers. She fed Anna and cuddled her, dozed a little, tried to pay attention when Wilson suggested they make a list of all the essentials she needed to buy. Dinner arrived, a succession of perfect, luxurious little courses. Kate refused the red wine, but found she had the appetite to demolish virtually everything else that was put in front of her. The doctor had been correct. She had been neglecting herself out of worry.
* * *
Grimswade appeared as the footman was carrying out the dishes. ‘Is there anything else you require, my lady?’ Butlers, she knew, cultivated a bland serenity under all circumstances, but she thought he looked strained. The whole household seemed to be holding its breath.
Was there anything she could do? Nothing, Kate concluded as the door closed behind the butler. Just keep out of the way. Charlie was with his father and a stranger’s clumsy sympathy would be no help to them. She should have asked Grimswade when the rest of the family would arrive. At least they could take some of the burden off Grant’s shoulders. How lonely this felt, to be in the middle of so many people and yet completely cut off from their fears, their hopes.
She gave herself a brisk mental shake for the self-pity. She and her child were safe, protected and, at least for a few days, hidden. They had a future, even if it was shrouded in a fog of unknowns. Grant and Charlie were mourning the loss of someone dear to them and the best thing she could do was to intrude as little as possible. Grant had made it clear he did not want her involved or he would have confided in her, wouldn’t he?
She had slept well, Kate realised as she woke to the sound of curtain rings being pulled back. In the intervals when Jeannie had brought her Anna
