nodded tightly.
Roman swallowed and dug his fingers deep into the dark pelt of hair on his head.
‘I appreciate all this must be a shock for you.’
Roman’s hand fell away, leaving his sleek hair standing up in spiky tufts on his scalp. ‘Shock!’ He gave a twisted smile and laughed. ‘You have no idea.’ He stretched out his long legs in front of him and loosened the button on his coat, the fabric parting to reveal the dark cashmere sweater he wore underneath.
Izzy felt the muscles in her stomach quiver. He really was an extraordinarily attractive man.
‘I thought Lily was a grumbling appendix until I was six months pregnant.’
Her attempt to inject a note of levity—good timing never had been her strong point—was greeted with an incredulous stare. ‘Seriously?’
‘No, not seriously.’ She had known immediately, even before she’d done the test. She had simply felt different.
He turned his head. ‘I never thought I’d have a child.’ He still struggled to get his head around the idea.
So children did not figure in the glamorous life of this man. No real surprise there—it was hard to imagine him welcoming grubby fingerprints on his shirt.
‘I suppose not everyone likes children.’
She felt herself relax slightly. Was that what this meeting was about—a warning to tell her not to expect him to be a hands-on parent? He needn’t have worried; she didn’t need or want anything from him. As far as she was concerned her daughter had all the positive male role models she needed.
‘I’ll let you know how Lily is, a yearly update if you like.’ He was looking at her oddly so she shrugged and added, ‘Or not.’ Then looked away because those spooky silver lights deep in his dark eyes made her feel dizzy.
Had she assumed too much? Did he want to walk away and act as though nothing had happened?
‘Though it would be useful to know if there is any significant medical history on your side …?’ This practicality was the reason her mother had decided to give her the details of her biological father, in case after she was gone Izzy found herself in a situation where such information would be useful.
His thick, strongly defined sable brows knitted together as he stared at her as though she were talking gibberish. ‘I didn’t say I didn’t like children. Actually I don’t know any.’
Unlike the large and noisy Fitzgerald clan, he had been an only child and there had been no cousins to play with. His parents, madly in love and totally wrapped up in one another, had never intended to have children, and resented the intrusion of a third party, and at an early age Roman had been shipped off to school. He hadn’t minded. He’d liked school, excelling academically and at sports, though not team sports—Roman with his lone-wolf tendencies had never been a team player.
‘Though I was one myself once,’ he added with a half-smile.
‘You don’t have brothers or sisters …?’ Izzy asked and he shook his head. ‘Neither do I, but then I’m sure the grapevine gossip told you that.’
Instead of reacting to the charge he picked up on the previous statement. ‘Actually I was told that I couldn’t have children, or at any rate it would be unlikely.’
But unlikely had happened, a miracle had happened. Did she really think he’d be content with yearly updates on his child’s life?
Izzy was confused by his admission. She knew he was not impotent so that left what …?
‘Three years ago I had chemo.’ He offered the additional information in the manner of a casual afterthought.
Her eyes flew to his face ‘You’re ill?’ Beneath the calm surface Izzy could feel the ice forming … counting, she waited for the next breath. ‘You’re not dying? God, no!’ She took a deep breath, let it out in a long hissing sigh and made a struggling attempt to breach the social chasm that had opened up at her feet.
His broad shoulders lifted in a fluid shrug. ‘We are all dying, cara.’
Izzy, conscious that her knees were shaking, flashed him a dark look, annoyed that he was making light of a subject that was anything but. ‘You know what I mean.’
He conceded the point. ‘I had the all-clear, but surgery … well, you saw the scars.’
He watched as she closed her eyes, her long curling lashes fluttering like butterfly wings. Her eyelids lifted. ‘Well, you might have said that straight off instead …’
‘Sorry.’
Two years ago he had been in remission and the doctors had been cautiously optimistic, explaining that if he went another two years then his chances of suffering the disease were no more than those of any other member of the population. If it did return then worst-case scenario would be to amputate the leg.
Roman touched his leg now at the thought. The metal inserted to replace the diseased section might give him pain and preclude him enjoying some of the athletic pursuits he once had, but it was a hell of a lot better than the alternative!
He had cheated death, but for a while it could just have easily gone the other way. Life was that fragile. Not that he had dwelt on the possibility of death for long. What would have been the point? Such things were out of his hands and if he had learnt anything from the experience it was not to waste time worrying about things over which you had no control.
Izzy released the breath she had not been aware of holding. ‘You were awfully young for …’
‘Cancer? Yes, I was twenty-eight.’
God, so young at a time when a man like Roman would think he was invincible. ‘But they must have … I mean, don’t they … freeze your …?’
‘Are my future children in a test tube in some laboratory somewhere?’ His eyes flashed as she blushed and nodded.
‘Yes, but due to a technical glitch they got thawed prematurely.’
Her eyes widened. ‘That’s terrible! You said you were dumped. Is that why …?’
‘The beautiful Lauren gave me back my ring? Actually she kept the ring, but, no, she was fine with the idea of a baby-free life. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of admitting to her that if the cancer returned then there was the possibility that they might have to amputate my leg. Poor Lauren couldn’t stand the idea of being stuck with a cripple.’
Izzy’s contempt for this woman knew no bounds.
‘She sounds like a total and complete idiot!’ she fumed, wondering if underneath the cynical, amused façade he wasn’t still in love with this prize bitch.
Probably—men had no judgement when it came to beautiful women.
She caught him looking at her oddly and added quickly, ‘I’d have thought they’d have had all sorts of backups to prevent that kind of thing from happening?’
‘They do, but they
