his head forward. Little flurries of snow had settled on his hair, the intense blackness of it highlighting their sparkle. He shook his head gently and they disappeared. A resigned smile was on his lips as he looked back up at me.
‘I thought we were friends.’
‘You were Steven’s best man, not mine.’ I pointed out.
‘Only because you never asked me to be a bridesmaid.’
‘The shoes didn’t come in a size twelve.’
‘Well, at least you checked before discounting me.’
I finally smiled at him. Once again, he was attuned to the horrible awkwardness I was feeling and doing his best to dissipate it. Although, to be fair, the only reason I was feeling awkward was because he was standing there. So, technically, it was his fault anyway. But I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. He was right. We were friends. Yes, Steven had introduced us, but we’d also become friends in our own right. Not close as such, but friends all the same. Until the wedding day. For some reason, I’d suddenly felt like there were sides. And Rob, with his best man title, automatically fell on Steven’s side. I knew in my heart that wasn’t fair – on him, or me, or our friendship. But it just sort of happened and the longer I went without speaking to him, the harder it got to get over the awkwardness that I knew would arise. And here I was, six months later, feeling awkward as hell.
‘Izzy, please. Can we just go for a drink, and talk?’
I shook my head, noticing that the dampness of the air was beginning to put the curl back into my carefully straightened hair.
‘Is there anything to say?’ I asked, looking directly at him for the first time since he’d turned up. Big mistake. The hurt in his eyes stabbed at my insides. He quickly covered it with a crooked smile.
‘If you have to ask, then no. I don’t suppose there is.’ He turned up the collar of his dark grey wool coat a little more, as the wind picked up again and funnelled itself down the street, ‘Come on, I’ll walk you to the tube.’
‘That’s all right. I… um… haven’t quite finished here, and–’
‘Izzy, for God’s sake!’
I snapped my head up. I’d never once seen Rob angry. He was so laidback, normally being in his company was like a hit of Valium – in a good way. But not tonight. Tonight it seemed I had managed to push the right button.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked.
‘Nothing’s wrong with me!’
‘Then why are you being like this?’
‘Like what, exactly?’
‘Ignoring my calls, my texts. Just generally refusing to speak to me at all and looking at me like you’d wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole! It wasn’t me that left you at the altar, Izz, and I’m damned if I’m going to take the blame for it!’
Silence settled between us. And then, to my utter horror – and apparently Rob’s, judging by the look on his face – I started to cry.
‘Oh no, no no!’ Within a moment, Rob had moved and wrapped his arms around me.
‘Izzy, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
I gave a reply to say that it wasn’t his fault, I didn’t mean to cry and that I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. That’s how the reply sounded in my head anyway. All that actually came out was a gurgle-y, mumble-y sort of noise.
‘Come on. Let’s get you out of this cold.’
Rob scanned the street and saw a black cab with its light on. He curled his lips and emitted a loud whistle, sticking his hand out to signal the taxi. Seeing the cab turn towards us, he replaced his arm, the warmth of him flooding against me again.
‘I don’t need a cab to the station. It’s not far.’ I said. I knew money wasn’t an issue for Rob, and there was no way he was going to let me pay, but still, I’d been brought up not to waste money. With the traffic crawling even more than usual thanks to the weather, I could probably walk there quicker to get my train anyway.
Rob didn’t reply, merely opened the door for me as the taxi pulled up and stepped in behind me. He gave the driver an address I recognised as his apartment building.
‘Rob,’ I started.
‘I know. You just want to go home.’
He had a knack of being able to do that. Suss out what I was thinking even before I knew I was thinking it.
I nodded.
‘I know,’ he said, ‘but the news alerts have been saying that a load of trains have been cancelled and stations closed. And that was earlier, so goodness knows what it’s like now. The snow’s even heavier further out. It might be worth checking that your train is actually running before you stand freezing on a station platform.’
‘Oh. Umm,’ I sniffed and rifled through my bag for a tissue, ‘good idea. Thanks.’
‘Not a problem. Maybe I should be thanking this weather. At least it’s forced you to talk to me.’
I looked down and studied our damp footprints mixing on the floor.
‘Although I really didn’t mean to make you cry. I sort of did want the ground to swallow me whole right at that moment.’
I glanced up, expecting to see one of his lazy smiles, but his face showed nothing but remorse and honesty. I moved my head on his chest where it still lay after he’d got in the cab and pulled me back into the hug.
‘That makes two of us.’ I replied. And then realised how that sounded. I sat up, pulling away from him, ‘I mean, I wanted the ground to swallow me, not you! Standing there blubbering like an idiot at you for no good reason.’
I felt the warmth of embarrassment start to creep up my neck and pulled my scarf up in the hope of disguising it a little longer. Just as the silence was about to tick over into awkward, the taxi indicated and pulled across to the side of the road. We were in front of Rob’s apartment complex. He handed over a note and told the cabbie to keep the change, before following me out onto the snowy pavement.
As he was paying, I’d gathered myself, standing back from the edge of the road to avoid splashing from passing traffic. I waited, back straight, feeling resolutely British and foolish for my earlier unexpected outburst. Rob looked at me, his gaze becoming quizzical before he turned away to pull open the heavy door that led into the foyer of the swanky address. I hesitated before entering. Really I just wanted to go home but, if the trains were as he said they were, then it really would be best to find out which ones were still running rather than just blindly hoping mine was one of them. The taxi driver who’d dropped us off had mentioned he was glad we’d not asked him to take us further outside the city as his colleagues had been reporting the roads were getting a lot worse. Calling one to get me home was looking less and less likely. I could ring Mags and see if I could at least get to her flat. It was still a journey but less so than getting to my own place.
‘I can see the cogs whirring.’ Rob’s words jolted me out of
