He always waited until he thought she was asleep, and returned before she woke, but she knew, they just didn’t talk about it. They both had their secrets. And they both knew not to push.
What they had now was good. It was solid and passionate and fulfilling, but it was also delicate and new and most likely unsustainable. They had known each other for six years, but this, the new permutation of Beth and Torres as a couple, was new, born out of necessity and devastation, formed from their broken pieces. Eventually they would crack, everything did. But right now they were in the moment before everything turned to shit. She couldn’t go back to that moment with Paige, or with her mom, but she was living in that moment now with Torres, and she would enjoy it until it was gone.
The Torres that came back from the jungle wasn’t the same man that left. And what he returned to was more different than he could have imagined. There was no warm welcome, just resentment and regret.
But they found their way back together. It was inevitable. The pull was too strong, their connection too intense, so they were together, scars and all. Was it love or addiction? The answer didn’t really matter, because he made her feel good and quitting him now wasn’t a choice.
She had waited for the “I love you” when he came back, but it never happened, not even when he proposed. After Paige died, when she was at her lowest point, he was there for her. He told her that she was going to marry him and he was going to take care of her. That was the closest to a declaration she was going to get and it was more than she deserved.
They had loved each other once. She truly believed that. But now, what they had now, what was it? Could it still be called love after so much pain had been inflicted? Torres leaving, Beth turning to Patterson, the abandonment and the betrayal… So much had happened, but still Torres was the one who made her forget.
Beth pulled his hand and led him to their bedroom. She had more to forget tonight than usual. She pulled him closer and ran a hand over the raised skin of the slash on his face and then lower to the Santa Muerte tattoo that covered the left side of his chest. His muscles grew taut under her touch. Her hands dropped lower still, to his wrists, which were now wrapped around her waist. They were encased in thick scar tissue, a remnant from his imprisonment. His whole body told his story, it was written in the scars and tattoos. He looked like he could be an inmate; that is why she had picked him. She needed someone who could infiltrate a drug cartel, but his looks alone had not done it, his ruthlessness had.
He was a killer and a drug runner and a gang member and he was the only person who could make her forget all of that.
Torres pulled her hard against him. His body was a solid wall of muscle. Physically he could overpower her without even trying. If he wanted, he could break her; snap her in two. And she liked that; there was nothing to fight against with Torres, because she would lose. All the control was his. She didn’t have to think or fight or rationalize, all she had to do was feel.
She was already wet and ready for him. A shot of desire ran through her as she traced the deep lines that defined the muscles of his chest. She licked her lips. There were so many places her mouth wanted to be: his full lips, the flat plane of his belly; the thick end of his cock. She couldn’t decide which she wanted first but in the end the decision was taken from her. Torres pushed her down against the mattress, his solid body creating a cage around her. And then his mouth captured hers, hot and exploring, his tongue slid between her lips.
Her body clamped in anticipation. She felt so empty, only he could fill the need in her. She was ready, she didn’t need kissing or foreplay, she just needed him, his cock buried deep inside her, the connection: the fullness.
Frantically she pulled at his jeans, trying and failing to pull them over his hips. She pulled her mouth away so she could concentrate on the buttons keeping her from her goal.
Torres pushed his hips against hers, effectively pinning her to the bed. “Why the hurry, Gatita?” he asked. His voice was thick with his own controlled desire. He held her wrists hard against the mattress.
She could not verbalize it. The words didn’t make sense, even to her, but she was in a hurry. She was always in a hurry with Torres, desperate to have every moment with him, before it ended.
She pulled against him, trying to free her hands so she could reach him. She needed to feel him.
Torres lifted himself off her. His dark eyes hooded with desire. “Stop fighting me, or I’ll tie you up,” he warned. His tone was neutral but there was no doubt that he was deadly serious. Torres had the control here, he always did, and she willingly gave it.
Another wave of desire crashed against her. She gave her head a terse shake. She didn’t want to be tied up, not tonight. Most nights there was nothing she liked better than being tied to the bed so he could fuck her in any manner he deemed fit. Nothing was off limits with Torres; she had soon learned that. She had come into the relationship naïve. She had had her fair share of partners, but once she slept with Torres she realized she was far from experienced.
He used her body any way he wanted. Sometimes she was reticent, but in the end she always begged for more. Between them, words like dirty or taboo had no meaning. All her inhibitions had been stripped away. Torres didn’t allow them. He wanted all of her body, all of her. There was never a question, no room to protest, he took and she gave. There was nothing more erotic or liberating than being tied down and fucked hard.
Torres kissed her neck, his tongue darting into the delicate hollow of her neck. With agonising deliberateness he slowly undid each button of her blouse, rewarding each exposed area of flesh with a lick. She moaned when he reached her belly, so close to the centre of all her sensation. She licked her lips again. Her mouth was so dry. She needed him inside her now. Her hands fisted the sheets to keep from clawing at his jeans. He had told her to stop, and Torres didn’t ask twice. The warning was purely a courtesy; if Torres wanted her tied up, she would be bound to the bedframe before she had time to protest.
She needed her hands tonight to run along the scarred surface of his skin, and pull him closer. Torres undid the front fastening hook of her bra. He didn’t move, he just studied her breasts, his eyes drinking them in. They were too small, she knew that, but he said they were perfect. The way he was looking at her now, gave her no doubt that he was telling the truth. Gently his hand brushed her breast, his calloused thumb circling her nipple. Blood rushed to the dusky peaks, the sensitive skin strained to meet his touch. It was so gentle now, she could barely feel it, but her body responded just the same, demanding more, but he wouldn’t, not yet. He wanted to watch her; that was what he wanted. The lights were on, and he had every intention of watching.
For reasons that escaped her, Torres was mesmerized by her body, every response, each moan, he took it all in, transfixed, especially her orgasms. He loved to watch her come; that more than anything had taking some getting used to. Before Torres, she had never had an orgasm with a partner. She thought she couldn’t, she was far too inhibited; that is what she had told herself. Turns out, she just hadn’t been doing it right or, more to the point, she hadn’t been doing it with the right person.
Torres had once told her that people weren’t good or bad in bed, it was their chemistry that mattered. She still didn’t believe him; some people were just good, like him. He was even good enough in bed to overcome all of her shortcomings. Her body would never respond to anyone else the way she did to him.
His touch became stronger, still soft but now she knew she was not imagining each stroke. Gently he pulled on her nipple, rolling it slowly between his thumb and forefinger. Her breath came in small pants. She could come like this, with nothing but the scrape of his calloused skin against her nipples, but he wouldn’t let her, not yet. She bit back a moan so Torres wouldn’t know how turned on she
