know. It didn’t seem right to be off meeting them, as if nothing had happened, when Ginny was dead.
He was sorry he’d yelled at Claire. But she didn’t get it. Not having a family, she didn’t realize that real families weren’t warm and fuzzy. Siblings were competitive. Parents could hold grudges. Hurts could run deep. And getting a baby to raise wasn’t a gift from the heavens. It was a responsibility.
He leaned back in his chair, but bounced forward again. The best way to forget about his personal life was to work. He picked up the phone receiver, dialed a number and got his mind where it needed to be. On business.
He talked with two banks and four prospective investors for his latest venture. Twenty minutes later, the office door opened and Claire haltingly stepped inside. “My boss called. I have to go to work. Just for an hour or so to debrief her on some cases she’ll need to handle for me tomorrow. But I’ll be back.”
The fact that she would still stay after he’d yelled at her humbled him. It was no wonder she thought there were good people in the world. She was one of them.
“Okay. Thanks.”
She motioned toward the ceiling. “Bella’s upstairs in her crib…asleep.”
He nodded, wishing she’d just leave because he was feeling weird things about her, too. Wondering why she was so nice to a guy who was nothing but snippy with her. Wondering why she was alone, not married, and remembering the bad relationship in her past that she’d mentioned but not really explained. Wondering why he kept thinking about her, when he shouldn’t care. When he should have let her leave that morning.
He said, “Thanks.” But a vision of Bella waking, screaming for Claire, filled him, and he remembered why he hadn’t let her leave. He couldn’t care for Bella. Oh, he knew the basics, he could even dance with her to quiet her, but so far Claire was the one Bella really wanted. And he hadn’t yet changed a diaper or fed her. Dancing wouldn’t help if her pants were wet and her tummy empty.
He swallowed a lump in his throat that felt very much like his pride. “What do I do if she wakes up?”
She took a few more careful steps into the room. “She should sleep the entire time I’m gone. But if she doesn’t, change her diaper, give her a bottle and play with her like we did this morning.”
He nodded, but she wouldn’t look at him. She kept her gaze focused on the floor.
Heat swamped him. He hadn’t meant to be so angry with her. After all, his family wasn’t her fault.
“You might want to get Jimmy to help you set up the play yard and swing we bought yesterday afternoon with the crib. She’ll love the swing. It will definitely settle her if you can’t get her to stop crying.”
He said, “Thanks,” wishing she’d just meet his gaze, knowing he didn’t deserve a smile. But she turned and left the room.
He tossed his pencil to his desk. This was why he hated dealing with people, and the truth of why he didn’t want to go to Texas. Alone in London, with too much time to think about things, he’d begun to wonder if maybe his problem with his extended family wasn’t the fault of his seven siblings but his.
Maybe he was the reason the whole damned family couldn’t get along. After all, he and his twin, Ellie, contributed to the reason his mother had left Texas. At least, that was what Cedric had told him the night of their big fight. Had his mother not gotten pregnant, she might have been able to handle living in Texas. But having twins in a rural county, so far away from her family, had made her run.
Claire left Matt’s house, grateful for an hour alone in her car, even if she was fighting traffic.
When she arrived at Dysart Adoptions, she immediately walked back to Joni’s office.
“Hey.”
Blond-haired, blue-eyed Joni looked up. “Hey! I’m glad you could come in.”
She winced. “I’m sorry I dumped everything on you without any notice.”
Joni motioned for her to sit. “It’s not like we’re really busy. I just hate to see you wasting your vacation on something that’s essentially work.”
“I know. But Bella’s special and in a way so is Matt. He wants to be a good dad so much that he can’t hide it. But he’s more than a bit rough around the edges.” She slid to the seat in front of Joni’s desk. “Did you know his nickname on Wall Street is Iceman?”
Joni’s face fell. “How awful for Bella.”
“Well, that’s just it. I’d think how awful for Bella, if I didn’t keep getting glimpses of a nice guy underneath his Iceman exterior.”
Joni laughed, but her laughter quickly died. “Oh. Wait.” She studied Claire for a second, then said, “You’re not falling for him, are you?”
Claire sat up in her chair. “Absolutely not.” She’d had this conversation with herself in the car driving to the adoption agency. And convinced herself she hadn’t gotten angry that he’d yelled at her; she’d gotten angry that he hadn’t learned to control his temper around the baby. “Number one, he’s so far out of my league I’d be crazy to even consider it. Number two, I’m literally teaching this guy how to love. He says he hurt his ex-wife so badly he had to make it up to her by helping her new husband with a business deal. And he can’t understand why Ginny would leave her daughter in his care when she above everybody else knows he can’t love. I’d be crazy to get involved with him.”
Joni said, “Okay. Good.”
“I mean, it’s not like the guy doesn’t have potential. If I’m reading the situation right, I think he had a very soft heart at one time and something happened in his family that broke it. I’m guessing his Iceman image is a defensive wall to keep him from getting hurt again. Which is why I think there’s lots of hope for him with Bella.”
Joni inclined her head. “That makes sense.” She caught Claire’s gaze. “As long as you’re only working to repair his heart enough to raise a baby, not because you want something to happen between you two.”
“I already said I don’t want anything to happen between us.”
“Because bringing him far enough along that he’d be able to love you—as well as a baby—would be a big job.”
“I know.”
“And it would probably end up with you getting hurt.”
“I know that, too.”
“Just checking.”
Joni dropped the subject after that and they went to work on quickly reviewing the few cases Claire had on her desk. But when she left Dysart Adoptions, Joni’s words rolled around in her head.
She could probably teach Matt enough to care for Bella in a day or two. She hadn’t needed to take the whole week off.
Was she subconsciously trying to heal him for herself?
Did she think she could be the woman of his dreams?
