I said, I’m sorry.’
They were back to being formal. Absurdly formal.
‘You have your contract,’ she told him. ‘You need to get back to Margot.’
‘I do.’
‘Goodnight, then,’ she said and she clung to her camel. A girl had to hold on to something.
‘You don’t need more help?’
‘I don’t need anything.’
‘I suspect you do,’ he said, his voice gentle. ‘You’re so alone. But I also suspect you don’t need me making love to you. You have enough complications on your plate already.’
‘It was a nice kiss,’ she managed. ‘I quite liked it. But if you think it causes complications you’re way out, Banker. One kiss does not complications make. Goodnight.’
He looked at her for a long moment and she looked right back. Firmly. Using every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep that look firm.
She was aware that Pharaoh had swivelled as well, so both of them were staring.
One girl and one camel … the man didn’t have a chance.
‘Goodnight, then, Allie,’ he said gently. ‘And to you, too, Pharaoh. Sleep well, and let any complications rest until tomorrow.’
‘You’re not a complication,’ Allie snapped.
‘I meant bankruptcy,’ he said, even more gently. ‘I mean the disbanding of your circus as well as your way of life. I didn’t mean me at all.’
And he reached out and touched her, a feather touch, a faint tracing of one strong finger down the length of her cheekbone.
‘I need to come early tomorrow to look through your books,’ he said softly, as if hauling himself back to reality. Hauling himself away from … complications? ‘I’m sorry, but you’re right, this is business. We’ll make it as easy as possible, though. No whips at all.’
HE’D COME TO Fort Neptune to say goodbye to his great-aunt. Instead, he was watching her pack away a comprehensive breakfast and listening to her nudge him in the direction of romance.
‘She’s lovely. I’ve thought she was lovely ever since she was a wee girl. Her grandpa used to pop her on the back of the ponies in her pink tulle and she was so cute …’
‘I’m not in the market for a woman in pink tulle,’ he growled and she grimaced.
‘You’d prefer black corporate? Honestly, Mathew, that last woman you brought down here …’
‘Angela was caught up in a meeting and didn’t have time to change before leaving. She changed as soon as she got here.’
‘Into black and white corporate lounge wear. And she refused to go for a walk on the beach. Mathew, just because you lost your parents and sister, it doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love. Properly, I mean.’
‘There’s the pot calling the kettle black,’ he growled. ‘Your Raymond never came back from the war and you dated again how many times? And that guy who calls every morning and you refuse to see him … Duncan. He’s a widower, he’s your age, he has dogs who look exactly the same as Halibut …’
‘They are not the same. They’re stupid.’
‘They look the same.’
‘They come from the same breeder,’ she said stiffly. ‘Those dogs of Allie’s came from him, too. Allie got the smart ones. I got Halibut and he was the best. Duncan got what was left over.’
‘You’re changing the subject.’
‘You’re changing the subject,’ she retorted. ‘We were talking about your love life.’
He sighed. ‘Okay. We’re two of a kind,’ he said grimly. ‘We both know where love left us, so maybe we should leave it at that. But are you coming to watch today?’ But he thought … they’d never had a conversation like this. About love?
When he’d mentioned Duncan, Margot had looked troubled. Why? Had he touched a nerve?
A love life? Margot?
‘Tomorrow,’ she said. ‘My knees are still wobbly.’
‘Because you’ve hardly eaten for months.’
‘My decision not to keep on living is sensible,’ she said with dignity, and he grimaced.
‘It’s dumb. There are always surprises round the corner.’
‘Like you’d notice them. Corporate …’
‘I am,’ he said in a goaded voice, ‘spending most of my day today with pink sparkles.’
‘So you are,’ she said, cheering up, and in silent agreement both of them put the moment of uncharacteristic questioning aside. ‘For two weeks. I hope I’ll be fit to come tomorrow and if I can I’ll come every day until the end.’
The end …
The words hung and emotion slammed back into the room again.
The end of the circus?
‘You won’t go back to dying at the end of the circus, will you?’ he demanded.
‘You won’t go back to corporate?’
‘That’s not fair.’
‘It is fair,’ she retorted. ‘What’s the alternative? Look at you, a banker all your life and nothing else, and will you look at an alternative? Why not get serious about some pink sparkles? It could just change your life.’
‘Like you’re changing your life?’
‘That’s not fair, and you know it.’ Then she hesitated. ‘No,’ she said slowly. ‘Just because I make mistakes, it doesn’t mean you need to join me.’
‘Margot …’
‘Shoo,’ she said. ‘Go. I’ve made my mistakes. You go right ahead and make yours.’
He needed to go to the circus, get into those books and make sure the structure was ready for handover, but the conversation with Margot had unsettled him. Instead, he decided on a morning walk and the walk turned into a run. He had energy to burn.
He had emotion to burn.
Margot was matchmaking. It needed only that. He’d spent half the night awake, trying to figure out how he was feeling, he was no closer now, and Margot’s words had driven his questions deeper.
Allie.
