care plan?’
‘Yes. Long-term foster care as far as I know.’
‘That’s correct, if the judge decides they can’t return home, but we’re a long way from that yet.’ She made another note. From her remarks I assumed she had doubts as to whether the children would remain in care. The Guardian’s recommendation to the judge on what is best for the children is based on their assessment. While the judge isn’t bound to accept the Guardian’s recommendations, they nearly always do, even if it goes against the social services’ care plan.
Tamara asked about the children’s routines, their likes and dislikes, if they were anxious and what they said about life at home. As we talked she kept glancing at the children, observing them as they played. She was with me nearly two hours, and although I didn’t learn anything knew – that wasn’t her role – she thanked me, said it had been helpful and she had a better understanding of the children, and added that she would see me at the review on Thursday.
I had told Tamara the children were close and appeared to get along well and I’d seen no incidents of Molly being unkind to Kit that could have resulted in him being injured. At that point, it was true. However, a day later when the children had been with us for three weeks and were perhaps more assured and relaxed in their surroundings, Molly started bullying Kit. It began with her snatching his toys, so whatever he picked up to play with she took from him, sometimes quite forcibly. That much younger and smaller, he didn’t protest or try to take it back as an older child might. His little face crumpled and sometimes he cried. I told Molly it was unkind to snatch and kind to share. I gave the toy back to Kit and found her something else to play with. But as soon as I moved away or turned my back, she had snatched it back from him. I told her again it was not kind to snatch and returned the toy to Kit. This could be repeated a number of times and often Kit eventually gave her the toy, so I took it from her and put it away. I didn’t want her thinking she could get her own way by bullying. Adrian, Paula and Lucy witnessed her behaviour too – she didn’t hide it – and they approached it as I did by telling Molly it was kind to share and returning the toy to Kit.
Many siblings go through a phase of bullying and, thinking it might help, I emailed Tess and asked again if Molly and Kit could have some of their own toys from home. Tess replied that she had asked Aneta and Filip before and would do so again.
As well as taking Kit’s toys, Molly began trying to scare him by jumping out and making a loud noise. He looked frightened and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I told her not to and that she wouldn’t like it if someone frightened her. If Kit fell asleep in his car seat, she screamed in his ear. He woke with such a start he was close to tears. I told her off and then moved her car seat so she wasn’t next to him. She wasn’t pleased, but she’d learn in the end. If Kit had a sleep during the day, which he did sometimes, I put him in his cot and then had to make sure Molly didn’t creep upstairs and wake him. Going to nursery and socializing with other children helps teach children how to behave and what is acceptable. Molly and Kit appeared to have led isolated lives, and as far as Molly was concerned (that much older and bigger) she was top dog. Her behaviour towards Kit could have stemmed from jealousy or been just a phase she was going through, so while I always corrected it I wasn’t unduly worried.
However, I then saw Molly intentionally push Kit over with a hefty shove. He didn’t cry but was scared. I told her off and explained that she could have badly hurt him. Children of her age don’t appreciate what harm they can do, which is why the age of criminal responsibility is set at ten – higher in some countries. Was she capable of pushing Kit downstairs, resulting in him breaking his arm as Aneta had claimed? Yes, I now thought she was, for she wouldn’t know how dangerous it could be. I noted all this in my log and would update Tess.
I telephoned Maggie to arrange the time she should come to babysit for the review and she said she’d be bringing Keelie again.
‘That’s fine,’ I said. ‘Molly and Kit loved playing with her.’
‘And she did them,’ Maggie replied. ‘She’s a big kid herself, bless her. But I do need to find a school who can manage her behaviour.’
‘I thought the last time I saw you she was returning to her present school?’
‘She did for a day, but it didn’t quite live up to expectations,’ Maggie said dryly.
I had to smile although I sympathized with her. I’d fostered young people who’d been repeatedly excluded from school, and the longer they were out of full-time education, the more difficult it became to get them back into the school routine.
On Thursday morning I told Molly and Kit that Maggie and Keelie would be coming to look after them again for a little while that afternoon. Molly was pleased. ‘I like that big girl,’ she said happily. ‘She is fun.’
‘Yes, so you can all play nicely together,’ I said. ‘No pushing Kit or making him cry.’ I’d mentioned the issues we were having with Molly to Maggie on the phone, so she’d keep an eye on them. I’d also said I’d leave the food diary out and asked that she or Keelie add anything the children had to eat or drink. She was slightly surprised the hospital weren’t running more tests, as was I.
We had lunch and then I took the children with me upstairs so I could watch them while I changed into something smart for the review. I only let them out of my sight if Paula, Lucy or Adrian were with them or they were asleep. When the doorbell rang at 1.30 p.m. they both came with me to answer it. Molly was excited, nearly as much as Keelie!
‘Hi, babies!’ she cried. ‘Look what I’ve brought!’ She held up two carrier bags filled to bursting. ‘Toys! For us to play with!’
‘Wonderful,’ I enthused. ‘I’m still waiting for some of Molly’s and Kit’s to come from home.’
‘Keelie spends most of her allowance on children’s toys,’ Maggie said, rolling her eyes indulgently. ‘She didn’t have any as a child, but she’s made up for it since.’ Which I found really touching.
‘Good for you,’ I said to Keelie. ‘We all like toys.’
‘Just make sure you share them with the children,’ Maggie said as we went through to the living room. For a moment I thought she was serious, then Keelie laughed.
‘Like I’m going to bring my toys and not let them play with them. Doh!’
Keelie sat on the floor with Molly and Kit and began taking out the toys. Many of them were pre-school, brightly coloured and still in their original boxes. Puzzles, cars, miniature play people and dolls. They were clearly treasured. It said a lot about Keelie’s neglected childhood that at thirteen she spent most of her pocket money on toys. Molly and Kit were enthralled.
‘Have you thought about a career working with children?’ I asked Keelie. ‘I am sure you’d be very good at it.’
‘So am I,’ Maggie agreed. ‘But she’ll need to get some qualifications first, and that relies on her staying in school for longer than a day.’
But it fell on deaf ears. Keelie was too engrossed in playing to think about going to school.
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