wilful and a little spoilt, but in a nice way. A way Tara could quite easily be envious of except she’d shaken that out of herself years ago as a destructive waste of wishful thinking.
‘And then the next morning the police came and took him away. It was a shock because we’d slept together and he just walked away without looking back.’
Absently she stroked her belly. ‘Simon was livid when he found out that Rayne had suspected they might come. But I think he’d come to explain and get advice from Simon, except it hadn’t worked out. And then I complicated matters.’
Wow. Maeve had certainly complicated matters. It was like an end-of-season episode of a soap opera. Tara had major sympathy for Simon. But Maeve had problems too. And then there was the mysterious Rayne.
‘Do you love him?’
She spread her hands. ‘I’ve had all pregnancy to think about it. About the fact that he might not be the guy I think he is. Or if he was he might change a lot in prison. So when I see him again he might not be the hero that I always imagined him to be and I fell for the pretty face I’d always fancied and created the energy between us by wishful thinking.’
Tara agreed with her there. It all sounded explosively spontaneous. ‘It’s a possibility.’
‘I know. I know. It was a whirlwind event that will affect the rest of my life. But really I don’t know. He doesn’t care enough to answer my calls. Or answer my letters. Or comment on the fact that I’m pregnant and soon to have his child. That hurts.’
Yep. That would hurt. ‘That is hard.’
Maeve went on. ‘When I found out I was pregnant I thought Simon was going to have a stroke. We had a huge fight. I said I was old enough to make my own mistakes and he said he could see that was true but not under his roof. Then he absolutely tore Rayne’s actions to shreds when I knew it was mostly me. So we really haven’t made up since then. But I still live under his roof so we’ve had sort of a cold truce for most of this year.’
She sighed again. ‘I know I let him and my parents down. Crashed off my pedestal and that hurt too. But I swear, one look at Rayne, at his need for comfort, and I was a goner, and seeing how it turned out I can understand his reluctance to let me into his life now. I can regret the timing but if I’m ever going to have a child the fact that it’s Rayne’s is no real hardship.’
A can of worms getting wormier actually. ‘I’m not sure I have advice for you. Except to say that guys in jail, even innocent ones, do change from the experience. I’ve known people who have. I’m not saying it won’t work out between you, but he might be a harder, tougher man than the one who went in. If you do meet him again, which I guess you will if you’re having his baby, make sure he is the man you love before you commit to anything. You have your baby to think of as well as yourself.’
Maeve looked back soberly. ‘I guess it has been all about the baby and me. I do need reminding that Rayne is in a different world right now and that he’s having it tough too. Thanks, Tara.’
Tara wasn’t sure that was what she’d been trying to say. ‘And thanks for your advice, though I can’t see myself starting a conversation like that with Simon.’ She smiled and stood up. ‘As for your story, you make my life seem pretty boring.’
‘Simon doesn’t think you’re boring.’
And here we begin the conversation again. Enough. ‘The good news is I have to go and do some home visits so I’m going to leave you.’ She carried her cup and saucer and cereal plate to the sink and rinsed them. ‘Catch you later.’
As she walked towards her room she mulled over the conversation. No wonder Maeve had been low in spirits when she’d arrived. And it explained the tension between Simon and his sister.
It was understandable Simon felt betrayed by his friend and to a lesser degree by his sister. She’d actually love to hear Simon’s side of the story but couldn’t see how she could ask without betraying the confidence that Maeve had spoken to her about it all.
And that it all happened under his own roof wouldn’t have helped his overactive protective bone.
Maeve had been very generous with her sharing and her advice and it had been nice to talk like that. Exchange banter with her friend. She was getting better at relationships with other people. Letting herself be more open and looking a little more below the surface to try to connect to other people instead of being too wary.
She’d never had a friend like Maeve before and hoped she’d helped her. Maeve had certainly given her something to think about with Simon. Maybe she could have real friendship relationships with women apart from being their midwife. Though she guessed she was Maeve’s midwife as well.
She pulled on her jeans to ride the bike and slipped into her boots. Organised her workbag on autopilot and mulled over Maeve’s words. Shook her head. He wasn’t scared. Simon didn’t care enough.
When they’d been together at the lookout he’d been a gentleman and not raised her expectations. She supposed it was a good thing but she really would have liked to lose herself all the way in those gorgeous arms. And he’d been such a good kisser. She shook her head. Come on. He was way out of her league. Get with the programme.
SIMON STOOD IN the shower and could feel the edges of panic clawing at him. And he couldn’t ease away by running back to Sydney Central work like he usually did because Maeve was getting close to having her baby. He had to be around in case anything happened.
This was certainly the time he usually left a relationship—way past it, in fact, as far as rapport between him and the woman went—except for the fact he would have been sleeping with her well and truly by now and that hadn’t happened with Tara. How on earth had the emotional stuff happened when they hadn’t even slept together? Everything was upside down. Back to front. And confusing.
Maybe it was proximity. Of course it was incredibly hard not to get closer than normal when you were living in the same house and working in the same place and associating with the same people.
Um, except he had lived with other women and not got too emotionally involved. And he had the horrible suspicion he’d miss Tara if he created the distance he needed—either mentally or geographically.
That was the scariest thing of all. It hadn’t happened before. He’d always felt the relationship was well and truly over by the time he began to see the signs of long-term planning on the side of his lady friend. Which was a good thing because that way he wasn’t responsible for hurting anyone.
But this was different. The unease fluttered again as he turned off the shower tap. Silly thoughts of birthday cakes in the future still made him smile but that was not the sort of thing to do if he was deep in a relationship with his next woman.
Listen to himself. He doubted he’d ever been deep into a relationship ever—more floating along the surface with good sex, and with women who were still his friends.
But right at this moment he was abstinent and sinking. No utopia after what had been a truly delightful afternoon yesterday with loads of potential—until that bloody lyrebird had said she was his true love and he’d panicked. Well, at least he had seen the danger before they’d
