‘Did you see my notes?’
‘Yes...’ he nodded ‘...and also I heard Janet tell Helene.’
‘I don’t really like to talk about it.’ If he could simply choose not to answer then so could she!
They walked in silence for a moment and she looked at the sparkling water and at the gorgeous palace ahead and wished she could stay here for ever.
It was Zahir who broke the silence.
‘Do you know, I was going to buy you a car for helping my mother?’
Adele smiled. ‘It wouldn’t have been appreciated. I can’t drive. I was only learning when it happened.’
‘I could give you lessons,’ he offered. ‘I taught Dakan to drive when he first came to London. He’s rather arrogant...’
‘Like you.’
‘Of course, and I doubted he would pay much attention to a driving instructor. I would be very patient with you, Adele.’
‘I know you would,’ she said, and she thought about it. He was very calm and controlled and if there was anyone who could teach her to drive it would be him, but she shook her head.
‘After the accident I promised I would never get behind the wheel of a car again. I meant it. I just don’t want to.’
‘Fair enough.’
She liked it that he accepted her decision and didn’t try to dissuade her.
And, Adele realised, she could tell him what had happened that day.
She wanted to.
For the first time she wanted to tell someone who wasn’t a lawyer or a police officer or an insurance representative.
‘I’d only had a few lessons,’ Adele said. ‘I was on a main road and trying to turn into a street against oncoming traffic,’ Adele said. ‘I’d done it at the same spot the previous week, except this time it was rush hour and there was this wall of traffic coming towards me.’
She stopped walking and so did Zahir.
Adele couldn’t both walk and talk as she recalled that day.
‘I kept missing the gap in the traffic and realising afterwards that I should have gone then. I was starting to panic and the cars behind me were getting impatient and sounding their horns.’
He saw unshed tears but today he was grateful that they did not fall, for it might kill him to listen to this and watch her weep and do nothing. Given they were in view of the palace, he was very glad that Adele didn’t cry as she told her tale.
‘Mum suddenly said “Go...” and even as I went, even as I put my foot down, I knew that I’d made a terrible mistake. She said, “To hell!” and everything went slowly. I knew then that she had been telling the drivers who were sounding their horns to go to hell. I sent her there, though...’
‘And yourself.’
Adele nodded.
‘It was an accident, Adele. A terrible accident.’
‘I know,’ she agreed. ‘And for the most part I’ve forgiven myself. I just...’
‘Say it.’
She couldn’t.
‘You can say it to me,’ he offered more gently.
‘I think it would have been easier if she’d died.’
And she looked up into silver-grey eyes and they accepted her terrible truth.
‘It would have been harder for you at first,’ Zahir said, ‘but, yes, easier on you in the end.’
‘I don’t know how to move on.’
‘You already are,’ he said. ‘Moving on is just about going forward, not necessarily pulling away.’
And they started to walk again.
Slowly she started to heal.
The evenings were hers for relaxation and enjoyment and at night she would check on Leila’s wounds and give her her tonic.
It was blissful.
A bliss Adele never wanted to end, but time was starting to run out and on her last Friday she and Leila lay on their backs in the salty sea water and Adele closed her eyes against the sun and just floated.
Leila was pensive beside her.
‘My husband has to go on a royal visit to Ashla—a neighbouring country—tomorrow,’ Leila said. ‘I am thinking of joining him.’
Adele turned her head in the water. ‘Will there be a lot of formal duties?’
‘Not for me,’ Leila said. ‘Just one dinner on the Sunday night. I like visiting Ashla, we always have a nice time when we go there. We would return on Monday morning.’
That was when Adele flew home.
Her time here had raced by but now it was ending. Oh, it would be wonderful to see another country, but she loved her mornings in the healing baths and the occasional time spent with Zahir.
It was dawning on Adele that she might not see him after today and nothing had been solved.
Not a thing.
There was no solution.
‘When would we leave?’ Adele asked.
‘Oh, no.’ Leila shook her head. ‘I do not need you to come with me. You can have the holiday you so deserve. I think a couple of days away with Fatiq are in order. Things are very strained between us.’
It was a huge admission and when Leila finally made it Adele gave it the attention it deserved and stood up in the water.
‘Leila?’
‘I love him very much. Today, though, is a difficult day and the build-up to it has been harder than usual.’
Adele remembered what had been said the afternoon Leila had collapsed. ‘Is today Aafaq’s birthday?’ she checked, and Leila nodded, and then she too stood in the water and told Adele something that perhaps she should not.
Yet she could no longer hold it in.
‘Things are very tense between Fatiq and me, Adele.’
‘Birthdays and anniversaries are the worst. Well, I haven’t lost a child and my mother’s still alive but I know how much they hurt,’ Adele said.
Indeed they did.
‘Separate rooms aren’t helping matters,’ the Queen admitted.
‘Does
