just stood there, more than a touch frozen. She wasn’t very good with her own emotions, let alone dealing with Alessi’s, and her lack of response didn’t go unnoticed.
‘You’re much kinder to your patients when they’re upset,’ Alessi pointed out, and gave a wry smile as he gathered himself back together as Isla still stood there.
She could cope when it was a patient; she could survive only by staying a step back. Alessi made her want to take that step forward but she just didn’t know how.
‘I just hate it that he had everything stacked against him. Had he been a girl he’d have been stronger,’ Alessi said. ‘Or had it been a single pregnancy at twenty-four weeks … even if he’d been the first to be born, he’d have had more of a chance, but everything that could go wrong went wrong for him.’
‘Maybe he’s getting to you because he’s a twin, too …’ Isla offered.
‘They all get to me,’ Alessi said. ‘Though Archie has more than most—he really did want to live.’ He looked at Isla. Was it exhaustion that made him be honest, or was it simply that it was her? ‘I’m not actually a twin. I was the second born of triplets, with Allegra the last. My brother was the firstborn and died when he was five days old.’
The same age as Archie.
‘Is that why you’re so driven?’ Isla asked.
‘Oh, I’m driven now, am I?’ Alessi teased. ‘Last week you were warning me away from your staff.’
‘It would seem you’re both.’
Alessi shrugged. ‘I guess. You feel you have to make up for all the opportunities that they never had.’
She remembered the black-sheep comment that Allegra had made about Alessi, and curiosity got the better of her now for she wanted to know more about him. ‘Did your parents push you?’
Alessi nodded. ‘You know, apparently, Geo, my brother, would never have spoken back to them. In fact, he’d be married by now and would have given them grandchildren.’
Isla smiled.
‘And he wouldn’t have given up piano at fifteen or …’ Alessi shook his head. Things were moving closer to a painful part of his past than he would like, so he wrapped it up there. ‘The list goes on. I really feel for Elijah, too. If he makes it.’
She watched as Alessi yawned. She could see he was exhausted and if it were any of her staff Isla would have told them to go home.
‘Shouldn’t you let Jed take over Archie’s care?’ Isla ventured, referring to the neonatologist on this weekend. ‘You’ve been here all week and you’ve got a big night tonight. Surely you need—’
‘What I need,’ Alessi interrupted, ‘are three things from you.’
‘Three things?’
‘Your coffee and whatever smells good in that bag …’
‘What’s the third?’ Isla said, handing them over.
‘If I don’t get there tonight, can you give my speech for me?’
‘Alessi, you’re up for an award, I think it’s taken as a given that you’ll be there. My father—’
‘Archie is having seizures,’ Alessi interrupted. ‘Violent ones, and they aren’t nice for his family to see. Jessica wants to be there also and I want his death to be as gentle and as pain-free as possible. I want to be there for him. I’m sorry if it upsets your father that I might not make it but right now Archie is my priority.’
Alessi waited. He knew she was about to protest and he actually wanted her to. That was his tipping point. When anyone tried to come between him and his work Alessi walked away very easily. He wanted not to get in too deep; he wanted her to insist that he be there tonight. Instead, she nodded her assent.
‘Fine,’ she said, though her father would think it anything but fine if Alessi didn’t show up. ‘What do you want me to say on your behalf?’
‘Whatever is said at such things. I’m sure you’ll give an excellent speech,’ Alessi said.
‘That sounds like an insult.’
It was, actually. He looked at her, so completely calm and unruffled, even as he had broken down, and knew she’d be the same tonight. ‘Do any of them get to you?’
‘Sorry?’
‘I remember the night we met. You were all animated, completely enthralled about a baby that had just been delivered.’ He watched her cheeks redden and rather than leave things there he chose to pursue them. ‘I’ve seen you elated but I’ve never seen you upset and, though avoiding each other, we’ve still found ourselves working together at times.’
‘When have I avoided you?’
‘Come off it, Isla,’ Alessi said. ‘And don’t avoid the question. Do any of them get to you?’
‘I don’t let them get to me,’ Isla said, hopefully slamming the door closed on that observation, but Alessi wrenched it straight back open.
‘That would take an awful lot of self-control.’
‘Not really.’ She tried to keep her voice even.
‘Yes, really. Otherwise it would mean that you’re completely burnt out and I don’t believe that you are.’
‘You don’t know me,’ Isla said.
‘I know that I don’t, because a year ago I could have sworn that we were getting on, that we were enjoying each other’s company, that you wanted me as much as I wanted you,’ he said. ‘Yet it would seem I was wrong.’ Isla wanted to tear her eyes from his but somehow she made herself hold his gaze.
‘I may be wrong now,’ Alessi said, and Isla knew that she could turn and head to her desk and he would go, but she didn’t. Instead, she stood there as he continued speaking, the air between them crackling with tension. ‘The thing is, I won’t put myself in that position again. You’ll never give me that look again, Isla …’
She wanted to point out that she wasn’t giving him that look now; she wanted to point out that she wasn’t turning and walking off. The air seemed too thick for her lungs and Isla’s eyes flicked to his mouth, to his soft, full lips, and she wanted to place hers there, or for his mouth to move to hers, but Alessi just stood his ground.
‘When you’re ready to apologise for that night …’
‘Apologise?’ Isla gave an incredulous smile.
Alessi didn’t return the smile. ‘Yes, apologise,’ he confirmed. ‘The next move is yours.’
‘I’m not with you.’
‘You’ll kiss me, Isla.’
‘And if I don’t?’
‘Then
