right thing by his child. His Texas upbringing would influence him, and he’d probably propose marriage. If hormones got the best of her—and they had made her crazy so far—she might actually accept. And then what?
Would they stay together for the sake of the child eighteen unhappy years until said kid went off to college and the two of them could finally separate? That’s exactly what her parents had done. Her own mother had been forced to come back and had never been the same. Faith’s father didn’t curb his appetite for chasing pretty much anything in a skirt. Faith had known since she was old enough to figure out what was happening. And her mother was broken. Still broken. She seemed different lately. Worse, if that was even possible.
Faith’s siblings seemed blind to it all. And they were another reason a relationship between her and Ryder could never work...if her father didn’t kill him, her brothers would. The O’Briens and McCabes were worse than oil and water. They were gasoline and forest fire.
Even so, maybe it was good that her secret was out. Working side by side, she could convince Ryder the best course of action would be to keep the secret. Surely he would come to the same conclusion she had. Besides, she had a plan.
Break the news and each guy she’d gone out with would distance himself from any suspicion of being the father of her child. And then she could tell her parents that she wanted to bring up her baby alone. She didn’t really care who the father was, even though her heart screamed at her that she did. Her father wouldn’t interfere with her plans to leave town. Heck, he’d tell her to get out after embarrassing him. And then she and her baby could live in peace. That was the only real chance her child had of growing up normal.
Righteous or not, telling Ryder complicated her plans. Had she really believed that she could’ve left town without telling him about the baby? She’d initially feared that he’d put two and two together when news of her pregnancy broke. And that’s exactly the reason she’d handled their breakup the way she had. The O’Briens were proud, honest men. And her actions had been the only way to ensure Ryder wouldn’t do anything stupid, like propose marriage for the baby’s sake and ruin both their lives. A fist tightened in her stomach. Breathe.
She’d take things one step at a time. For now, she’d secure Ryder’s help. Finding Nicholas had to be her top priority even if it meant turning her life upside down.
“Getting out anytime soon or do you plan to sit in here all night?” Ryder asked, and he sounded concerned.
Faith hadn’t realized the pickup had stopped.
“Yeah, sure.” She blinked at him.
He sat there, staring at her, making everything harder than she expected. In her heart of hearts she’d known that she couldn’t keep the pregnancy secret from him forever. Her obstetrician had said she could expect to start showing soon. This being the first pregnancy had bought her some extra time and she could easily cover what was going on so far.
Time was supposed to bring wisdom as to how she should handle sharing the news. It hadn’t. She hadn’t breathed a word to anyone. And keeping a secret like this had been more than difficult. It felt good to finally tell someone about the baby, but she needed to stay on track. None of her problems seemed as important or immediate as finding Nicholas.
The sky was pitch-black as she climbed out of the truck. The chilly air nipped at her through her dress. She wished she’d worn a coat as she shivered. Normally, the hot hormones had her wishing she could pack herself in ice. Not today.
A blanket of clouds covered the stars. It was too dark outside to see where he’d taken her, and she’d been in a daze for the ride over, not paying attention. As she gained her footing in the gravel it hit her. Ryder had taken her to the fishing cabin.
A wall of memories crashed around her. This was the place they’d met countless times, made love more than she cared to remember...and she’d lost her heart.
Doubts crept in as to whether or not she was doing the right thing being with Ryder at all with every step toward the cabin. He had the power to crush her with a few words.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else to talk.” Panic squeezed her chest as she approached the basic log cabin. A reasonable voice overrode her emotions. Ryder was the only one she could tell about Nicholas and the only one who understood how much was at stake as she made the decision to locate him.
“No one will find us here. Isn’t that what you want?” His deep voice, warm and soothing, was like pouring whiskey over crackling ice.
“Yes,” she conceded, very aware of the masculine presence behind her, guiding her with his hand on the small of her back.
Faith sat on the edge of the couch in the living room, ignoring the sensual shivers climbing up her arms. She wished she could block out memories as easily. The last time she and Ryder had been at the cabin, their naked bodies had been entwined until morning.
Tall, with the muscles of a well-honed athlete, Ryder had a physical appeal that hadn’t dimmed in the least and her hormones had all of her senses heightened. His dark hair framed a squared jaw, and he had the most piercing jet-black eyes. Everything about the way he looked communicated strength, confidence and a little bit of danger. And after the news she’d broken, fierceness. All of which would be a good thing if she could harness it toward helping find Nicholas.
“Take me back to the beginning. How do you know the baby is mine?” Ryder’s question was a bullet to the heart.
“You were the only option,” she fired back, and her plan of using the other men to throw everyone off the trail seemed to dawn on him.
“Did you plan on telling me eventually?” he asked after another uneasy minute had passed.
“Yes, and we can discuss anything else you want after we find Nicholas.” She needed to direct the conversation back on task.
“Holding a pregnancy over my head is blackmail, Faith.” His normally strong, all-male persona faded with the look of confusion in his dark eyes.
She hated that this was her fault. Well, not the pregnancy. It’d taken two to dance that tango. She took the blame for the way Ryder was finding out. Seeing the hurt in his eyes knifed her. But she needed to stay strong for Nicholas’s sake and not let anything else derail her from her search. She knew in her heart that her brother was in trouble. “I’m sorry for how this has gone down, Ryder. I truly am. But I’m desperate to find Nicholas and you weren’t going to help me any other way.”
He seemed to take a minute to contemplate that thought while he assessed her, his attention on her belly.
“How much longer before the baby comes?” he asked.
“I’m almost five months along,” she said, her hand instinctively coming up to her stomach.
“Boy or girl?” His voice was steel, giving nothing away of his emotions now.
“One of those,” she said. Having her doctor tell her the sex of the baby made it that much more real. For that reason, she’d decided to wait. And then there was the fact that it seemed wrong to know without the father present.
“They don’t know?”
“I asked my doctor
