what her sister would do if she confessed to her indiscretion.
‘You’re wearing your serious face.’
‘Stephanie gets worse. She keeps dropping subtle hints about me moving in with her until the baby comes. And I can’t. The walls would press down on me too much.’ Hattie knew it was another half-truth. If she had to move back there, all these clandestine meetings with Kit would have to cease.
He brought her hand to his lips. His eyes turned deep grey. ‘I’d prefer a soft bed with clean sheets and a roof over our head, and hour upon hour to enjoy you without your sister calling on you at all hours. Someone will have to give way.’
‘That is impossible, here. This is not London where you can be anonymous.’ She glanced over her shoulder. Thus far, the gossip had been muted, but she knew the limits. Discretion rather than full-blown flaunting of the relationship.
When they met at social occasions, it was never by design but by happenstance. Hattie was always careful not to spend too much time speaking to him. She loved hugging the secret to her bosom.
‘We’re far too well known,’ she said firmly. ‘I shudder to think what would happen if knowledge of this became common currency. It would ruin Livvy’s chances. I couldn’t do that.’
‘Have you thought about taking a trip?’ He moved closer. A faint breeze tousled his hair, giving him a rakish air. ‘We could travel to the Continent. There is no trouble with travelling now that the war is truly over. You could see the places you always wanted to—Rome, Vienna, even Paris.’
Her heart turned over. He wanted to go travelling with her. A brief vision danced before her eyes. She could visit all those places that she had read about, but it would be better because he would by her side, sharing the experience. It would mean what was between them was more than a summer’s romance.
He was fast becoming as necessary as breathing.
How had it happened? She cared about him. More than cared for him, she carried him in her heart. Loved him. That was not supposed to happen. Everything she’d done had been based on keeping her heart safe and enjoying the physical passion. She knew it was a summer’s affair, nothing more, something that would fade when the autumn winds came, but somehow her heart had forgotten that important fact.
The feeling nearly took her breath away, only to be immediately replaced with despondency. He had never offered for ever. He’d been clear about that at the start. He was everything that she thought she’d despise—a man who used charm and who could not be counted on. He was not the sort of man to love.
She knew how destructive one-sided love had been to her once. She turned her face from his and attempted to control her emotions.
‘Hattie, are you all right?’ His voice penetrated through her confusion. ‘I’d expected you to smother my face with kisses. A trip to Europe this autumn. If you insist, we can take Mrs Hampstead as cover and pretend to accidentally meet.’
‘Perfectly. I just remembered that Stephanie wanted help with the flowers this evening. She is giving a small dinner party before the Dents’ musicale. I forgot to say no.’
‘She makes too many demands of you,’ he said flatly. ‘You need to learn to refuse her sometimes.’
She shook her head. ‘I could never do that. After my husband died, she was so good to me.’
‘So good to you that you couldn’t admit what had really happened to you.’
‘It had nothing to do with her.’ Hattie examined the grass. ‘I promised her that I’d stay. She is expecting. She needs me. I don’t know what I would have done without her after Charles died. I owe her this much. Perhaps it is best if we cut this ride short.’
She bent down to pick up her hat and gloves. Why when everything seemed fine, did he offer her something that she was scared about accepting? A trip with her to the Continent meant nothing to his ultimate future, but he was asking her to change her whole life, to give everything up and she wasn’t ready for that.
He laced his fingers with hers, kept her there. ‘You are saying that you don’t want to travel. You fear it, just as you feared that stone wall. You cleared that wall without a problem, Harriet.’
‘Some day I will … travel. I have it all planned out.’ She took her hand from his. ‘Like you, I don’t go back on my promises.’
‘That is because you are stubborn. The offer is there, Harriet. I am going to the Continent this winter with or without you.’
A great hollow space developed inside her. He was asking her to choose and she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready. She needed time to think. ‘I will let you know my decision. It needs careful consideration.’
‘When?’
‘Later.’ She gave a shrug. ‘How goes Mr Hook’s preparation for the lecture? It is less than a week away now. Portia was asking this morning before she explained why the latest experiment with newts was doomed to failure. Livvy leapt to Mr Hook’s defence. It made for a lively visit.’
‘Stop trying to change the subject. You are unwilling to go away with me.’
‘I can’t go.’ Hattie’s heart tore into two pieces. He had to understand what he was asking. If she went, she would be even more in love with him. He wasn’t offering marriage or for ever, but a trip, a way to pass the winter. When she returned, their affair would no longer be a secret—everyone would know who her travelling companion had been. She’d lose her entire way of life. ‘But if you insist on an answer … no, not with Stephanie the way she is. Pregnancy doesn’t agree with her. I’d never forgive myself if I wasn’t there and you are wrong to press me. Arrangements would have to be put in place.’
‘Some women would accept without a moment’s hesitation.’
‘I’m not those women!’ Hattie’s heart thudded. He had to understand how hard this was for her and how sudden.
‘Then we know where we are. Forget I said anything.’
She hugged her arms about her waist, hating that the atmosphere had turned so suddenly. She’d been looking forward to making love in the late-summer sunshine and everything had gone wrong. It hurt all the worse because she knew she cared about him and wanted this enchanted time to go on for ever. She wanted to go to the Continent and see all those places she had dreamt about—to have him at her side would be heaven. But it would also be slipping further into an illusion that their relationship would last.
‘I had best go. I’ve been neglecting my visiting and other duties.’
‘Yes, you never hesitate to do your duty.’ His mouth curled down.
‘There is nothing wrong with doing your duty.’ She put her hands on her hips.
‘If you think that, we had best end it here as you will always find another duty to do.’
‘You are putting words into my mouth. Did you only ask me so I’d refuse? So you have the excuse you were seeking to end our relationship?’
He caught her arms and dragged her against him. Her body collided with his. The fire which was never very far below the surface flared. ‘I asked you because I
