to see if her dreams were real.
She reached out and stroked his chest. Her hands went to his neckcloth and started to undo it. She wanted to see if the strong column of his throat was as soft as his face.
Instantly he froze. His hands went to hers and stilled them. He lifted his head and looked at her with dark passion-filled eyes.
‘No,’ he said in a ragged voice. ‘Say it, Sophie.’
‘No?’ she whispered. Surely he couldn’t mean to stop. Her body wanted—no, needed his touch. She wanted to touch him like he had touched her. ‘Why not?’
‘Just say it. Like you mean it. You must, Sophie!’
‘No! Richard—’
He put two fingers against her aching lips and shook his head, before flopping back against the cushion. ‘Because I refuse to have your first time be a frantic coupling in a carriage.’
Sophie looked down at her naked breasts. They puckered slightly in the cold air now that his mouth wasn’t on them. Exposed. Lewd and wanton. All the words she’d been called before.
She quickly crossed her arms over them. The delicate fabric of the blouse tore, a loud ripping sound which seemed to signal her reputation was equally torn and shredded.
She struggled to get the words out. ‘My first time?’
His eyes were heavy-lidded with passion.
‘You do know what passes between a man and a woman, Sophie.’
‘Yes, of course.’ Her cheeks burnt. It was all the worse for the gentleness of his tone. He thought her completely ignorant in the ways of men. Another man would have taken advantage of her, but not Richard. She straightened her shoulders. ‘We whispered about it at school, and one of the girls had Aristotle’s Compleat Masterpiece.’
‘How did she get it?’
‘She had borrowed it from her father’s library and sneaked it back after the Christmas break. We passed it from girl to girl until Miss Denton found it and destroyed it. She would have expelled the girl, but her grandfather was an earl.’ Sophie gave an uneasy laugh. Talking made it easier to forget what she had nearly done, how she was truly wicked rather than good. Her last few years of keeping herself aloof had been for nothing. She forced a soft laugh which sounded far too throaty. ‘You would not have believed the uproar.’
‘But you read it first. You were not the sort of girl to allow an opportunity like that to slip between her fingers.’
Sophie gave a reluctant nod. He seemed to know her young self so well. ‘It was full of astonishing information. I wanted to know. Thinking back, it probably was one of the reasons why I was such easy prey.’
‘You have a good instinct, Sophie. It is better to know than to be frightened.’ He reached out and pulled her over to him so that her head lay against his chest. The racing thud of his heart resounded in her ear. ‘You did the right thing. Cawburn took advantage of you and your good nature. Never stop believing that. You are delightful, innocent and very much a lady.’
She started to sit up, but he gently held her there with one hand, while the other moved her blouse up over her shoulders, straightening her costume with almost impersonal expertise.
‘Shush now, let me put you right. Nothing happened here that can’t be fixed. I am to blame, not you.’
His fingers neatly did up her back. He was probably used to playing the ladies’ maid, Sophie thought miserably.
He knew how this game was played and she had only heard rumours and read the book. She knew the theory and none of the practicalities. She should feel better that he accepted the blame, but all she felt was hollow and depressed. Her inexperience had stopped him, not her virtue.
She’d hate herself later, but right now, even the impersonal touch of his putting her clothing to rights made her thrum with desire. She’d spent years denying what she was and now she knew.
When he had finished, he set her from him. His face was very serious, far more serious than she had ever seen it before.
‘If we continued on,’ he said in a low voice, ‘I would have been unable to stop. I was barely able to control myself as it was. You do understand how hard it can be to stop when two people desire each other, don’t you?’
‘I suppose you say it was all my fault. I should never have goaded you.’ The words tasted bitter in her mouth. He was going to behave precisely like Sebastian Cawburn. She had been wrong to think any differently. It was all her fault for allowing the romance to go to her head. She couldn’t be trusted. ‘And I should be grateful for your restraint. My behaviour must disgust you. It falls so far short of what is socially acceptable.’
He placed two fingers over her mouth and shook his head.
‘I want you, Sophie,’ he said slowly and patiently. ‘I have wanted you since the first time I held you in my arms. I want you more than I have ever wanted a woman. But not here and not like this. I want it done right. There is far too much at stake.’
‘You want me?’ she whispered. Her heart gave a little leap. She didn’t disgust him. He desired her. But desiring her didn’t mean he wanted to marry her or even that he cared about her.
‘Desperately.’ He took her hand and placed it on the front of his trousers. He was rigid beneath her palm. Her traitorous fingers itched to linger and trace the line of him.
Sophie jerked her hand back as if it had burnt her. She was all the words Sebastian had snarled at her—wanton, a cock-tease and worse. She had the soul of a loose woman. She had fought for years, trying to deny it, but she’d proved it in this carriage. She’d allowed her heart to overrule her common sense. She would have to take steps. They would have to end today.
‘I suppose you want me to thank you for your forbearance then, for resisting your baser instincts,’ she said, tears brimming in her eyes. ‘It was an act of singular virtue. It won’t happen again. I have learnt my lesson.’
‘Thank me for what?’ Richard asked, remorse and regret swamping his senses. Sophie made it sound as though he was a saint. He was far from that.
He had gone further than he wanted, but the result would be the same. There could be no objections to their marriage … from anyone. He could make sure that she stayed in his life. He had wanted her to have a choice, but now she had none. He had to keep her off balance and use the desire she felt for him to achieve his goal. He knew the power of seduction and had sworn not to use it against Sophie, but he saw no other way of securing her agreement in marriage.
‘For saving me and reminding me of what could have happened here.’ Sophie made a helpless gesture with her hand. ‘I will hate myself enough as it is later. I thought I was better than that, but obviously I was wrong. I overestimated my own virtue. We will have to end after today, never be alone again. I thought you should know I do appreciate the way you have protected me, even from myself.’
‘I think you want me as well.’ He forced his voice to continue on as if she hadn’t spoken. Her virtue did not stand a chance against his seduction. He’d known that since the first time they kissed. Now, he’d broken his promise. He was seducing her, but seducing her into a marriage, a marriage which
