knew there was so much more going on behind that smile. ‘Ruby …’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Maybe it was better left, Cort decided. Maybe by talking about it, he would build it up to something bigger than it was for her.
‘Can I have a tour?’ Quickly she changed the subject.
‘I’ve just got to ring work.’
‘You just left there.’
‘I said I’d check back.’ Which was true, but even though there was no real need to take the call in the bedroom, he did so.
There was only one photo of Beth.
And even that made him feel guilty—that the one he kept was one taken before the accident. He hated the Christmas and birthday photos that the staff had taken of what had been left of his wife afterwards and the guilt that came that he loved the woman she had been.
He chatted to his boss, made sure his messages had been relayed and put the Beth of yesteryear into a drawer for now, because it wasn’t the time to share it with Ruby. He wondered how it was even possible that somehow his heart was actually moving on.
Then he turned and he didn’t have to wonder how he was moving on because somehow, so easily, Ruby made it possible.
‘That is not taupe,’ she said of his bedspread when he turned off his phone. ‘That’s completely brown.’
‘We’ll go shopping soon,’ Cort said, and the thought both thrilled and terrified—not sheets, or whatever, but that she was being asked into his life. Then he gave a slight grimace. ‘Actually, I might have to go shopping now …’
‘I’m on the Pill,’ Ruby said, and she looked at him, ‘which is something I’ve never said to anyone before …’
And he nodded, because he got it, got the enormity of what they were both saying, the confirmation they were home.
It was different here, in his bedroom, Ruby thought. More special, somehow, to be here in his home. There was no urgency, just purpose in their kiss. And there was no chance of regret tomorrow, because it was still daytime.
She could hear sirens whizzing past and traffic outside as he undressed her, and that it was afternoon mattered, because the world was going on, it was they two that very deliberately chose to stop.
There was no music or booze or party, just each other, and she wasn’t scared that the light might break the moment because naked before him the light let this be real.
It was bliss to climb into his bed and watch as he undressed and climbed in beside her. She heard his phone bleep and he checked it.
‘I’m going to hate that phone, aren’t I?’
‘You are,’ Cort promised.
‘Do you ever get to turn it off?’
‘Holidays …’ Cort started, and then changed his mind, because he wanted the future to be different, he wanted a part of him to be solely devoted to her. And Doug was there, Cort told himself, and Jamelia was there too, and the world could carry on without him, would just have to carry on without him sometimes. He reached over and turned it off, and it felt like a holiday, felt like freedom, felt like life as he let go of the reins and reached for her.
‘What would Sheila say?’ Ruby asked as he lay beside her and started kissing her.
‘I don’t want to think about it.’
‘And Siobhan?’ Ruby laughed.
And then she wasn’t joking any more, she was just next to him and he felt lovely, they felt lovely, in a great big bed with them at the centre and nothing to disturb their kiss except the bleep of her phone. She said a rude word in his mouth and happily chose to ignore it.
‘You’d better get it,’ Cort said.
‘I don’t get urgent calls,’ Ruby said. ‘I’m not important enough.’
‘You are to me,’ Cort said, and she got back to being kissed, got back to the passionate man that no one but her knew existed. She’d been told that you couldn’t faint lying down but that’s what his kiss made her feel like. She felt the dizzy sensation of removal as his tongue captured hers, she felt the world slide away as his body met hers, and wondered how she had got so lucky, how the place she hated so much could give her something so sublime.
‘You’re my new-moon wish,’ Ruby said as he kissed her, his hand stroking her slippery warmth. Her mouth moved to his neck and she kissed it, then deeper, as his hand worked on, and she tried to resist her body’s demands. She was mindful of him and lifted her head because she didn’t want to leave a mark, but his thigh hooked over her and still his fingers worked their magic and still she moved her mouth lower and kissed his taut shoulder and then let herself kiss deeper, sucked on his skin as he brought her so close, and then she worked her head down, kissed him as intimately as he had once kissed her, tasted every lovely inch of him till she breathed and blew on him and kissed him again, and told him her truth. ‘You got me through.’
‘I haven’t finished yet,’ Cort said, and then she heard his wry laugh, because if she didn’t stop now, he might rue his own words. ‘Come here,’ he said, and slid her up to face him. There were no sheets now, they had fallen somewhere on the floor, so side by side they kissed and then side by side they watched, no barriers, no protection, because they were already safe, and the moment of merging was overwhelming. Cort slid into her and her body shivered and tightened and wrapped right around him. He pushed deeper into her again then he stilled for a moment but she didn’t want that, because he couldn’t come soon enough for Ruby, so ready was her body to join his.
‘Come with me,’ she said.
‘Soon,’ Cort said, because he wanted to enjoy her longer, he wanted the impossible, because as he drove into her, Ruby’s hips moved towards him and then towards him again, and it was Ruby who couldn’t wait a moment longer. There was such passion in him, such a rare match of want, that she could let go and feel him, feel the friction they made and the taste of his skin, could drown in their scent and call out his name. She felt the rip of tension run through him, felt the shudder of his release and the lovely spill of him inside her, and the absence of fear and the amazing knowledge that she could do anything if this was her reward at the end of each day.
‘You’re bad for me.’ Cort grinned.
‘You’re so good for me?’ Ruby smiled. ‘Can I tell you something?’
‘Anything,’ Cort said.
‘I’m starving,’ Ruby admitted. ‘I only had a salad at the canteen—I didn’t want to freak my patient out.’
‘What did she have in the end?’ Cort asked, because, amazingly he was curious.
‘A jacket potato.’
‘I don’t know how you do it.’
‘That was an easy one,’ Ruby said. ‘Believe me!’
‘I do—and I’m starving too,’ Cort admitted. ‘A certain
