at the sensation.
‘Just let’s be, Lucy,’ Khaled said, his voice a soft, lulling whisper. ‘Do you remember how it was before—enjoying each other’s company, enjoying each other?’ She shook her head, not wanting to go there, even though it was already too late. Her mind, heart and body had all travelled down that dangerous road, remembering just how sweet it had been.
False; it had been false.
Yet could this be real?
She reached up and caught his hand with her own, pushing it away from her mouth.
‘All right,’ she found herself saying, surprised. She hadn’t intended to say that at all. She’d meant to lay out her arguments, all those logical, sensible reasons she’d catalogued in her mind. ‘Let’s enjoy these few days,’ she said, her voice firm and unwavering. ‘For Sam’s sake.’
‘And for our own?’ Khaled’s eyes burned into hers, yet Lucy heard a lilt of what sounded almost like uncertainty in his voice—uncertainty and hope. ‘Just to see how it could be?’ he added in a whisper.
‘It can’t,’ she said, and she’d never sounded so uncertain, so desperate not to be right.
Khaled smiled, uncertainty replaced with satisfaction. Damn him. He knew his effect on her, knew how weak she was.
‘A few days,’ he agreed, and from his tone Lucy knew he thought that was all he’d need.
The next few days passed in a pleasant haze of sightseeing, swimming and enjoying the surprising treasures of Biryal. Khaled took them to see the pearl divers on the coast. The art of Biryal’s ancient trade was now a tourist attraction, as pearls were now made synthetically in an oyster farm.
He showed Sam the spiders with their huge, yellow webs as promised. Lucy stayed well behind, even as Sam stared, fascinated, his hand clasped tightly with Khaled’s.
He took them to a national museum in Lahji, and Lucy was impressed with the clean, wide streets; the ancient buildings were cheek-by-jowl with modern skyscrapers. It was a small city, compact and well-maintained, and she could begin to see why Khaled was proud of his country, why he was dedicating his time, his life, to improving the condition of its people.
During these outings Lucy let her mind drift, enjoying the sun on her face, the breeze from the sea, the feeling that they were a family. A real one.
She didn’t let herself think about how it couldn’t last, what would happen when she returned to London, to her life. Khaled…what would he do?
What would he want, demand?
Her mind slipped away from such questions, and certainly from their possible answers.
Yet even in the pleasant passing of time she felt the latent need and memory deep in her belly, and also in her heart. She felt it lurch inside her every time Khaled looked at her, that knowing little smile quirking the corner of his mouth upwards, his eyes gleaming, making her ache.
Her mind slipped away from that too.
A week after they arrived, Khaled stretched out on the lounger next to hers as Sam splashed in the shallow part of the pool.
‘There will be a magnificent sunset tonight,’ he remarked casually, too casually, and Lucy waited, eyebrows raised.
‘I thought we could take a picnic supper to the Dragon Grove.’
‘Dragon Grove?’ Lucy repeated, smiling. ‘That sounds intriguing. I’m sure Sam will love it.’
‘Alone.’ Khaled’s eyes sought hers and found them. Lucy swallowed.
‘What about Sam?’ she asked, her voice sounding rusty. Khaled shrugged.
‘He is comfortable here now, is he not? I have hired a nurse to watch him. She is reliable, warm.’
‘You didn’t think to consult me?’ Lucy asked, hearing the sharpness in her tone, feeling it, and so did Khaled. He reached out and brushed her cheek with his fingertips; Lucy flinched away.
‘So prickly, Lucy. Does it matter?’
‘I don’t like you making decisions about Sam without me,’ Lucy replied stiffly.
‘I hired a babysitter for an evening.’ Khaled shrugged. ‘Do you want me to clear every decision I make with you, Lucy? Because, I am telling you now, I will not. Sam is my son—as much my son as he is yours. Remember that.’
Lucy half-rose from the lounger, her body tense and ready to fight. ‘Are you threatening me?’
Khaled muttered an oath in Arabic, his eyes darkening dangerously. ‘No, though you see threats everywhere, like spiders! I am telling you, Lucy, that you cannot threaten or manage me. I won’t grovel for Sam’s attention or access to his life. So don’t try and make me.’
‘I wasn’t—’
‘Weren’t you? You are always trying to be in control, to make the decisions.’
‘Of course I want to be in control,’ Lucy snapped. ‘I’m not going to sit here passively while you rearrange Sam’s life to suit your own purposes!’
‘Which are at cross with your own?’ Khaled shook his head, and his voice turned soft. ‘You see how easy this would be if we were married?’
‘Hardly,’ she replied, even though her heart bumped unevenly in her chest. ‘Then you’d just expect me to do your bidding.’
Khaled laughed, one eyebrow arched. ‘Oh? And wear a hijab as well? Who told you that?’
Lucy felt her cheeks flush. She was uncomfortably aware of the assumptions she’d made, and yet she felt in her gut that they were true. That they could be, anyway. ‘No one did,’ she muttered. ‘I don’t need to be told.’
‘Because this is an Arab country? We are Westernised, you know. Civilised too.’
Lucy looked away. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does,’ Khaled said quietly, and she heard a note of sorrowful sincerity in his voice that resonated deeply within her. ‘It does,’ he repeated. ‘Because you have so many of these assumptions, and I realise it is time to correct them, even if…’ He paused, his gaze slipping from hers. ‘Even if it is uncomfortable. The truth must be told and faced. I will do so tonight…when we are alone.’
The invitation had been replaced by a command. Lucy pursed her lips. She wasn’t going to argue simply for the sake of it, and if Khaled meant what he said about correcting her assumptions then she wanted to listen.
She needed to hear the truth, whatever it was.
Sam was surprisingly amenable to being left with Hadiya, the nurse Khaled had hired. She was a young, smiling, round-cheeked woman and Lucy couldn’t find a single thing wrong with her. Perversely, she had tried.
They left the palace in the late afternoon to give them enough time to reach the grove before the spectacular sunset Khaled had promised.
