The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child
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‘We like to think we are the good, good guys, but good guys will do.’
‘Everyone always thinks they’re the good guys,’ said Ruby.
‘Yes they do,’ said LB. ‘But happily for us, we are.’
‘Well you might know that but how do I?’
LB took a deep breath. ‘As I understand it, part of your “intelligence” lies in your almost impeccable instincts. Ask yourself one thing: something led you here, but was it your good instincts or just simple curiosity? Would you take the risk of crawling through a suffocating black tunnel if you thought we were the bad guys?’
It was a good point.
‘So what does LB stand for?’ asked Ruby ‘None of your beeswax, as someone your age might say,’ replied LB.
‘No one my age would say that – not unless they were pretending to be someone your age.’
LB didn’t seem bothered by this remark, but instead opened a drawer and selected a red Perspex file. ‘Are you curious to know why we had you crawl through a tunnel?’
‘Pretty eager,’ Ruby drawled – as if she couldn’t care less.
LB opened the file. ‘We first became aware of you five years ago. We took a look at that code you created for the Junior Code-Creator Competition, and we heard about the Harvard offer – I imagine you remember?’
‘Yeah, I remember,’ Ruby mumbled – it was an experience she had tried hard to live down. She had not relished the attention.
‘We were interested, but when we discovered exactly how old you were, that you were just some little kid, we thought again.’
‘So, what? You don’t think I’m just “some kid” now?’
‘Well, since you’re asking, yes, but now we’re desperate,’ replied LB.
‘Wow, you sure know how to pump up a person’s ego.’
LB gave her a hard stare. ‘We’ve been watching you for a number of years. Since you appeared on our radar we have had access to your grades and school assignments. You’re not normal.’
‘That’s you paying a compliment, right?’
‘I wouldn’t take it that way.’
Ruby shrugged. ‘So why’d ya call?’
‘I need to know if you are willing to work for us – just the one job you understand.’
‘Doing what?’ asked Ruby.
‘We’ll get to the details in due course but I need to know, are you in or are you out?’
‘You must have a lot of confidence in me.’
‘That, or I’m crazy,’ said LB shuffling her papers.
‘But can I be trusted?’ said Ruby.
LB stopped shuffling and looked up. ‘We think so – one thing you seem good at is keeping your mouth shut.’
‘And if you’re wrong?’ said Ruby
‘And if we’re wrong,’ sighed LB, leaning forward. ‘And if you do turn out to be a blabber mouth, then who’s going to believe you?’
It was true, a schoolgirl was going to have a hard time convincing anyone but Clancy Crew that there was a secret agency situated beneath the street if you only took the trouble to lift the drain cover just underneath the sign for Lucky Eight gas.
‘So, are you willing to take the assignment?’
‘I have no idea what it is.’
‘You’ll be briefed once you have taken and passed the required Spectrum test and been cleared by security.’ LB paused. ‘I should make clear that this will be a desk job: there will be no car chases, no jumping out of aeroplanes in black turtle-neck sweaters, and it will not make you one of us, you will not become an agent, you will simply be carrying out this one task and when it’s over you will go back to your boring hum-drum schoolgirl life.’
‘Gee lady,’ Ruby exhaled. ‘It’s on the tip of my tongue to say yes.’
‘Oh, I forgot,’ said LB. ‘There is a small fee.’
‘Do I pay you or do you pay me?’
LB ignored this last comment. ‘Your decision?’
‘But you haven’t told me what I have to do.’
‘This is a once in a lifetime offer – yes or no?’
‘Well, I don’t know,’ said Ruby chewing on her finger nail. ‘There is this biology assignment I’m working on – you see I have to imagine my life as a plankton, and I reckon thinking like a plankton is going to take time, I mean gee, I’m not sure I can spare the hours.’
‘Look, plankton girl,’ drawled LB. ‘Cut the baloney and let’s get things straight, are you in or are you out?’
Ruby gave LB one of her sideways stares before answering. ‘I guess the plankton can wait.’
‘Good, glad to have that sorted. We will arrange for you to be excused from class – other than that, don’t call us we’ll call you.’
‘Anything I need to know?’ said Ruby.
‘Uh huh, RULE 1: KEEP IT ZIPPED.’
Ruby lifted the drain cover, and felt a large hand grab her by her jacket collar.
She shrieked in a most un-Ruby-Redfort-like way.
‘Take it easy kid, I thought you might like to throw your bike in the trunk and get a ride home.’ Ruby looked up to see the tan face of the Redfort household manager.
‘How’d you know I was here?’
‘I guess you just struck me as the kind of girl who likes to spend her evenings crawling down drains.’
Ruby looked at him hard. ‘Who exactly are you?’
‘Spectrum sent me to babysit you,’ said Hitch, wiping dust from his hands.
‘Well, sorry to put you out of a job,’ said Ruby. ‘But I’ve been putting myself to bed since I could climb into my cot.’
‘Well, Ms All-grown-up, what you’ve got to understand is that this isn’t just any job, they’re trusting you kid – trusting you with things no one gets trusted with.’
‘So what you are saying is, you work for them?’
‘Yeah, I work for them.’