The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child
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Ruby got into the car.
‘What?’ said her mother staring hard at the words on Ruby’s shirt.
‘Exactly,’ said Ruby.
‘What does that even mean?’ sighed Sabina as she pulled away from the kerb and into the traffic. ‘I have the prettiest daughter in town and all she wants is to look “different”.’
‘Why would I wanna be the same?’ said Ruby.
‘I’m not saying exactly the same – just a bit the same.’
‘A bit the same?’
‘More normal, like other people want to look,’ said Sabina, firmly.
‘You want me to look more like her?’ said Ruby pointing out Vapona Bugwart’s best friend and sidekick Gemma Melamare, a glossy girl with shiny blonde hair and more make-up than a department store cosmetics counter.
Sabina shivered. ‘No siree Bob.’
They drove in silence for about fifteen seconds, before her mother perked up again. ‘Oh yes, Ruby I have to tell you – turns out there is a rumour going around that there was a big conspiracy to steal the Jade Buddha of Khotan, can you believe it?’
‘Are you kidding?’ said Ruby.
‘Yes, it wasn’t the bank at all.’
‘So, what, will they be bringing in some top security staff?’
‘Oh yes! Only Ambassador Crew’s top expert people, that’s how important this…’
‘Yikes Mom!’ screamed Ruby, as a maroon car overtook them at great speed and swerved into the gap in front of them.
‘Jeepers!’ screeched Sabina. ‘Some people’s driving! What was the point of that?’ She honked the horn to show her displeasure. ‘Anyway, as I was saying, it is now absolutely impossible to break in to the museum now they have all these lasers and the lockdown system. Isn’t that something?’
‘Yeah,’ said Ruby.
’I’m so excited! Your father’s going to bid for a chance to look the Buddha in the eye at the stroke of midnight. It’s the chance of a lifetime – imagine, not only the opportunity to halve his age but the chance to double his wisdom. What do you think, Rube?’
‘Will we even notice?’ said Ruby.
Sabina looked in the mirror – there was a black car edging closer and closer to their bumper. ‘What’s that nut behind me doing? She’ll end up in our trunk if she gets any closer!’
The black car started honking its horn.
‘Heavens!’ exclaimed Sabina. ‘The standard of some people’s driving is just criminal!’
‘You can say that again,’ said Ruby.
Suddenly they felt their car jerk forward as the one behind rammed into them.
‘I’ve got nowhere to go lady!’ shouted Sabina loudly. The maroon car had them boxed in.
‘Mom! We’re gonna end up inside that parked truck if you don’t get us outta here fast!’
It was true: they were heading straight for the open back of a large green truck. It looked like it was deliberately waiting to swallow them up.
Ruby grabbed the wheel and screamed, ‘Step on it!’
Her mother floored the gas pedal and they shot through a gap in the traffic – her eyes closed, expecting the worst, as the car careered across the freeway, tyres screeching, vehicles honking, and…
…somehow they made it safely off at the next exit.
‘I would suggest that crazy redhead remove her enormous shades and take a proper look where she is going!’ said Sabina, gulping in air.
Ruby glanced in the mirror, but the black car was nowhere to be seen. Yet she had a strong feeling the woman’s poor driving had nothing to do with her eyesight.
‘So now they’re dropping you?’ Clancy was having a hard time taking this news on board. He had come over as soon as he got Ruby’s message. ‘First of all they barely thank you and now they drop you?’
‘They haven’t dropped me, they just needed me to figure something out and now that I have that’s that.’ Ruby was trying to put a brave face on it but Clancy wasn’t giving up.
‘Oh fine, so you work out the whole thing and they just give you your marching orders like they never needed you in the first place.’
‘No Clance, you got it all backwards…’ argued Ruby, but Clancy was just warming up.
‘I can’t believe they would just use you like this, pick your brains and kick you out.’
‘Clance it’s not really like that.’
‘You must feel terrible Rube, all wrung out like an old dish rag.’
‘Clance…’
‘Dumped in the trash with all the rotting garbage.’
‘Thanks Clance,’ said Ruby, ‘I feel a whole lot better talking to you.’
‘Sorry Rube, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, it’s just I hate to see this happen to you.’
‘I know,’ said Ruby, ‘I guess I thought they might keep me on, get me to do other things… it woulda been fun.’ She sighed. ‘Look, let’s forget about it – let’s just hang out OK?
‘OK, but how about we get some pizza?’
‘I thought you had a tooth infection?’
‘Nah, I was faking it, I haven’t done my French assignment, so I kinda skipped school. My dad’s gonna kill me if I flunk again.’
‘Clance! Why didn’t you say? Look, I can help you with that this week sometime.’
‘Really?’
‘Sure I can – do it in my sleep.’
‘Thanks Rube, let’s go find Ray’s Pizza Van – I’ll even pay.’
‘Friend, you got yourself a deal,’ said Ruby.
Room Service
CLANCY CREW AND RUBY REDFORT were hanging out in Twinford Square eating two slices of pepperoni anchovy cauliflower pizza they had just purchased from Ray’s Roving Pizza Van.
‘Good combination