the best friend hug?” Mimi said, smiling.
“The what?” Bailey asked.
“Whenever Roo and Saylor had been together and then had to split up, they did their best friend hug. Just clung to each other. Lord, it was the cutest.”
Bailey, bemused, glanced at me, and I was pretty sure I blushed. Evidently, embarrassment had no statute of limitations.
“It got me thinking about Waverly and Chris, which of course got me in the gut,” Celeste said to Mimi. “Those two really were inseparable.”
“He did mention that, actually,” I said. “How my mom and his dad were friends.”
“Those Prices. All such sweet boys,” Mimi said, looking out the window. Roo was saying something to Jack, who was grinning, as Trinity, still sour-faced, looked on. “I just hate all Roo’s been through, with his daddy and everything.”
“He said his dad doesn’t live here anymore,” I said. “Where is he?”
There are all kinds of silences. Natural ones, when conversation just ebbs after a flow. Awkward, just after someone’s said something they shouldn’t. The worst, though, are shocked silences, when no one can speak at all. This was one of those.
“He died, honey,” Mimi said finally. “Before you two were born. Boating accident.”
I didn’t know what to say. All I could do, in fact, was look at Roo again while running through my mind again the moment earlier when I’d asked if his dad was still local. There had been a silence then, too, but only the briefest one, like a song missing a beat. He hadn’t wanted to make me feel bad for being so ignorant. The way I felt right now.
“Oh, my God.” I put my hand to my mouth, horrified. “I had no idea. I’m such an idiot.”
“It’s okay,” Mimi said. When I just sat there, blinking, she added, “Saylor. You didn’t know.”
Down below the house, Jack was now on his feet, his plate empty except for a crumpled napkin. Roo got up as well, then extended a hand to Trinity, pulling her to a standing position. For him, she smiled.
“So. Saylor,” Mimi said. “You going out with the kids tonight?”
I looked at Bailey, who was back on her phone. She didn’t say anything, and the last thing I wanted was to yet again be forced on anyone. “I’m pretty tired, actually.”
“Well, in case you change your mind,” Celeste said, “Bailey, give Emma your number.”
Bailey sighed. “You guys. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous.”
I felt my face blush again. Here I’d thought this cousin was the nice one, but clearly even she was sick of dealing with me. I said quickly, “She doesn’t have—”
“I mean,” Bailey continued, over me, “is it Emma or is it Saylor? Because so far I’m hearing both, interchangeably. It’s super confusing.”
Everyone looked at me. So it wasn’t me that was annoying. Just my names. I said, “At home, I’ve always been Emma. Except if my mom was talking to me.”
“Which is why I keep calling you Saylor,” Mimi said softly. “Sorry. But she loved that name.”
I bit my lip, hearing this. It had been a long day indeed, if this was the thing that would make me cry.
“How about this,” Bailey said to me. “You think about it and let me know. Whatever you say, it sticks. Officially. Deal?”
I nodded. In time, maybe I’d figure this out.
“And give me your phone,” she added. “I’ll put in my number.”
I swallowed, trying to pull it together, as I took my phone out of my pocket, unlocking the screen and sliding it over. BAILEY, I watched her type, then the digits.
“There,” she said, returning it to me. Across the table, Mimi was watching us, but I couldn’t read her expression. Half-sad, half-happy, all hard to explain. Like she was seeing something I wouldn’t have, even from the same vantage point. “We’re leaving here at eight. Let me know if you change your mind.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thanks.”
After dinner, I went to my room, where I opened my notebook again to the family tree I’d started. SILAS, I wrote, next to Celeste, then drew a line through it. Twice. (There had to be a story there.) I added Amber under Joe, with a question mark, and Anna Gordon below her. So many gaps still to fill, but I was getting there.
Downstairs, I could hear Bailey and Trinity as they got ready in the kitchen and then the screen porch that functioned as their bedroom. There were other noises, too. Mimi’s TV, most certainly showing another fixer-upper show. Jack on his own phone on the other side of the wall, speaking quietly, maybe to Taylor. But as darkness fell and I found myself nodding off earlier than I had in ages, it was those who were not there that filled my mind. Roo first, and the secret, not so much a secret, that he’d kept from me. My mom, in this same room. And the frick to her frack, Chris, gone as well. The past was always present, in its way, and you can’t help but remember. Even if you can’t remember at all.
I woke to the smell of toast.
It was actually the second time I’d been up. The first had been at four a.m., when my dad, obviously so worried about how I was faring that he forgot about the seven-hour time difference, called me from Greece.
“Dad?” I answered, after fumbling for the phone in the dark for a moment. “Is everything okay?”
“What’s not okay?” he replied.
“What?” I said.
“Did you say you’re not okay?”
“No,” I said. “I asked if you were okay, since you’re calling me so early.”
A pause. Then, “Oh, no. What time is it there? I’m all turned around.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I assured him, even as I noticed the little clock on the dresser said 4:15 a.m. Which made this the second morning in a row I’d been awakened by a phone call at this hour, something I could only hope wasn’t a trend. “How was the flight?”
“Good,” he said. “Long. But we’re here now, in a taxi on our way to the hotel.”
“Hi, Emma!” Tracy called out.
“Tell her hi,” I said to my dad.
He relayed the message. “The important thing is, how are you? Is it all right there?”
I looked at the clock again, weighing how to answer this. Of course I didn’t want him to worry. I was fine, just a bit discombobulated. Also I had a lot of questions, most of which he probably couldn’t answer. “It’s good,” I said.
