he was. For a brief moment she allowed herself to wonder at the kind of girl who would be lucky enough to keep him. And the slice of jealousy that tore through her made her feet falter for a second.
Oh, no. He was a friend. He could only ever be a friend.
‘Watch the toes, kiddo.’
‘Mmm, ’cos they’re hard to miss.’ Teagan quirked a brow at him, her eyes shining. ‘You know what they say about men with large feet…’
His dark eyes widened slightly and then he leaned his head closer, dropping his voice so only she could hear. ‘Large shoes?’
Laughing, they swung closer to the edge, and stopped below an archway. Then, as their gentle swaying stilled, something in Brendan’s eyes changed. He examined her face for a long moment, his gaze seeming to memorise her before he spoke in the same low tone. ‘You really are stunning tonight, Teagan.’
Looking back years later, Teagan would see what happened next as being one of those ‘oh, no’ moments. Everyone, at some point in their life, experienced at least one. She would find that out herself with time.
It was a kind of mental danger alert. The moment when a person knew that they shouldn’t have allowed a particular thing to happen. It was a voice in the back of the mind yelling Uh-oh—this could be trouble moment. And for Teagan it came seconds too late.
While he looked at her with so much warmth in his eyes she temporarily forgot the small matter of all the goals she had set for herself in the not too distant future. And the pledge she’d made to avoid guys like him, who might touch her heart where it had never been touched before.
She just allowed herself to get caught up in the magic of the moment.
And as he smiled down at her with every spark of charm at his disposal, then let an upward glance direct her eyes to the mistletoe above them, she even forgot to breathe.
What she should have done was crack a joke or step away. She most certainly shouldn’t have stood rooted to the one spot and watched while his head descended.
She knew how big a mistake it was the minute his mouth touched hers.
Oh, no.
In that first touch of lips it was as if something she hadn’t even known existed inside her woke up. It started with warmth where their mouths met, a sensual awareness of connecting with another person. Then the warmth moved from her mouth to her chest, causing her breath to catch and her heart to beat louder. Then there was the spiralling, tightening sensation low in her abdomen. All in one kiss. All in the space of a few minutes.
It frightened the life clean out of her. This was exactly what she had sworn she would never allow to happen to her. For a few brief moments she was losing control, was stepping into the abyss. But, unlike so many people who had no idea of what there could be at the bottom of that abyss, Teagan knew. She knew.
Heartbreak, agony, self-doubt, sacrifice. Pain.
She was twenty-one years old, with no experience of physical attraction on such a level. But she knew what the emotional cost was. And she wouldn’t do that to either of them.
‘No.’ The word came out on a tortured whisper. ‘You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t—’
‘Yes, we can.’ He squeezed his arms tighter around her waist. ‘You had to know this was going to happen.’
She tugged back against his arms. ‘I knew no such thing! We’re supposed to be friends.’
‘That’s a good place to start.’
‘No, it’s a good way of gaining ammunition, is what it is. You have no idea what you’d be getting into.’
He obviously had no idea what she meant. The look on his face told her that. And in that second she knew she was right to do what she was doing. He didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. That wasn’t his fault. Because with Brendan she’d had her first chance to live in a land of make-believe. Someone who had led as charmed a life as he had could only believe that everyone else’s life had been as easy. So it had been simple to play along.
But the very fact that it was hurting her so much to reject him only proved that she was right to do it. If she got any more involved than she already was then she might not survive. She might end up exactly like her parents.
‘I can’t believe you did this.’ She finally managed to get free from his hold, her eyes flashing up at him as she did her best not to cry. ‘You’ve ruined everything.’
‘With one wee kiss? How have I ruined everything?’ He shook his head and stepped towards her again, his eyes flickering around to see who could hear their argument, ‘You’re acting like some hysterical female, Teagan. Stop it.’
The condescending tone was like a slap in the face, ‘How dare you?’
‘Teagan—’ His tone became more warning.
‘Don’t you Teagan me! Try finding someone who wants you to kiss them, Brendan. There are loads of women here who might want that from you. But I’m not one of them.’ She raised her chin a very visibly stubborn inch and glared at him. ‘Get over yourself.’
Without waiting for a response she turned and, like Cinderella running from the ball, fled across the room, the sound of her name in his deep voice echoing behind her.
She swore there and then that she would never see him again. Ever. He could think that was immature or stupid if he wanted to. In fact he could think whatever the hell he liked.
All he had done was show her that the path she’d chosen for herself was the right one. She would never let anyone get to her like he just had. She would only ever have herself to look out for, pure and simple.
And they’d be selling ice cream in hell before she changed her mind again.
CHAPTER ONE
‘YOU can’t do this to me now!’
Eimear lowered her voice and blinked shimmering eyes at her. ‘Teagan, I wouldn’t ask if this wasn’t really important. It could be make or break for us. I need this time with Mac to sort it out or we could be through.’
‘I get that, Eimear. I do. But I can’t look after them now.’ She glanced over at the three small faces blinking at her from the doorway, guilt rising up in her throat like bile that they were having to hear her turn them away, rejecting them. ‘Maybe next weekend some time. I have this massive deal in work and—’
‘This is my life we’re talking about! I can’t lose him, Teagan. I really can’t.’
And now she was crying. Teagan couldn’t take it when Eimear cried. And she especially couldn’t take it when it was happening in front of her nephew and nieces. Even though technically their mother’s back was to them. Teagan really couldn’t put them through any of the stuff she remembered from her own childhood. It would be too cruel.
But surely it wasn’t unreasonable to have asked for a little warning? A phone call to discuss it? A text message to say they were on their way
