style="font-size:15px;"> ‘Yep, I can give you half an hour, then I have to watch EastEnders,’ she said.
‘I love that programme,’ Stevie enthused, clasping his hands together.
‘Stevie, can you bring your make-up down here and do it at the table?’ I said. Lucy knew why. It’s part of our safer-caring policy that young people aren’t alone in one of the bedrooms. Not because I didn’t trust them or imagined they’d get up to anything inappropriate, but safer caring is about avoiding situations that could be misinterpreted so that all family members feel safe and secure.
Stevie fetched his make-up, which he kept in a silky floral patterned cosmetic bag, and sat at the table with a mirror in front of him while Lucy gave him a lesson in applying make-up. Paula and Adrian had gone up to their rooms and I was in the kitchen clearing up. Lucy and Stevie had quite a laugh, but by the time Lucy had finished, Stevie’s make-up looked much better – subtle. She also got him to take off the bright red nail varnish, ready for school. They then went up to their respective rooms, which left Sammy and me in the living room.
I took the opportunity to go through the Essential Information Form and then wrote up my log notes. All foster carers in the UK are required to keep a daily record of the child or children they are looking after. This includes appointments, the child’s health and wellbeing, education, significant events and any disclosures they may make about their past. When the child leaves this record is placed on file at the social services. I’d begun my log for Stevie when I’d attended the pre-placement meeting, and now I wrote a short paragraph detailing his arrival, what he’d disclosed about being bullied and how he was settling in.
Adrian, Paula, Lucy and I are not night owls during the week, as we all have to be up in the morning for work or college. I needed to get Stevie into the same routine, so at nine o’clock I asked him if he wanted a hot drink and a snack before he went to bed. ‘Can I have an Ovaltine, please?’ he asked. ‘My gran always makes me one.’ It’s little details like this that help a child or young person to settle and feel at home.
I didn’t have any Ovaltine so I said I’d buy some the next day and he had a hot chocolate instead. I then gave him a set of towels and checked he had everything he needed for the night; his gran had packed his nightclothes and a wash bag with a toothbrush and so on. I suggested he had his shower first, as we all had to use the bathroom. I expect all the children I foster as well as my own to have a daily shower or bath. Some children who have come from neglected homes aren’t used to this, but Stevie was – it was part of his grandparents’ routine.
By ten o’clock we were all upstairs in bed or getting ready for bed. Before I went to bed I looked in on Stevie to say goodnight and remind him to switch off his phone. ‘You know where I am if you need anything in the night?’ I said. Despite his age, he was in a strange house, and had been used to sharing a bedroom with his younger brother.
‘What time do I have to get up?’ he asked.
‘Nine tomorrow, but it will be earlier when you are back in school.’
I never sleep particularly well when there is a new child or young person in the house. I worry about them and listen out in case they wake with a start, upset and not knowing where they are, when I go round and reassure them. It didn’t matter that Stevie was nearly fifteen; I still listened out for him. As it was, he seemed to sleep well and only surfaced when he heard the rest of us getting up in the morning.
I find it takes a few days for a new arrival to fit into the family. At the start everyone is a little self-conscious as my family adapts their routine to include another family member and they adapt to fit in with us. Then usually we all chug along without too much trouble. We all need to use the bathroom in the morning and sometimes a queue forms, although this morning Stevie didn’t have to be out the door at any set time. I made him breakfast – cereal and toast as his gran did – and saw Adrian, Paula and Lucy off at the door. Just after nine o’clock I telephoned Stevie’s school and asked to speak to his mentor, Carolyn. It took a few minutes before she came to the phone and was confused when I introduced myself – ‘Cathy Glass, Stevie Jones’s foster carer.’
‘I didn’t know Stevie had gone into care,’ she said. ‘Although there was some talk about it at the end of last term.’
I explained it had all happened quickly the day before and said Stevie was fine and settling in, and that his social worker was aware I was phoning her to arrange a meeting to get Stevie back into school as quickly as possible.
‘Yes, of course. Could you make one o’clock today?’ she asked.
‘Perfect.’
‘Will Stevie’s grandparents be coming too?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘OK. When you arrive, come in the main entrance and give your name at the office and the school secretary will buzz me.’
‘Thank you.’
I said goodbye and then wondered if Stevie’s grandparents would want to attend the meeting as they had before. Stevie was in care voluntarily and there were no child-protection issues to prevent them from attending. It’s always better for the child to see their family working with the foster carer, although in many cases it’s very difficult, even impossible, if the parents are angry that their child has been taken from them as a result of abuse or neglect. But that wasn’t so with Stevie’s grandparents. The problem I could foresee was that Fred could easily do more harm than good with an outspoken, thoughtless comment. Even so, I felt I should mention the meeting to them. I had their contact details on the Essential Information Form, and sometimes it’s the way a question is phrased that directs the outcome.
‘Peggy, it’s Cathy Glass. Stevie is fine,’ I said straight away to reassure her. ‘But I wanted to ask you something?’
‘Yes?’
‘I’ve just spoken to Stevie’s mentor, Carolyn, and I’m going to see her at one o’clock today. Are you happy for me to take Stevie? I’m guessing you’re very busy with Liam and Kiri.’
‘You can say that again!’ Peggy said. ‘They’ve been playing me up a treat with all Steven’s comings and goings. I was relieved that school started again today. Fred has taken them. I’m exhausted. Yes, you go to the meeting with Steven, if it does any good.’
‘OK.’ I wasn’t going to mention at this point that Stevie had disclosed he was being bullied, as it could have made Peggy feel bad for not acting on it.
‘Verity said that Steven wants more of his clothes,’ Peggy said. ‘He can come and get them later if he likes. It’s only a short bus ride from school.’
I didn’t really want Stevie jumping on a bus and going back to his grandparents by himself until he was more settled with us and in the routine of school. So many young people are placed with a foster carer one day and then leg it home the next, then go back and forth between their home and the carers like a yo-yo, which is unsettling for everyone involved.
‘I could bring him in the car after we’ve seen Carolyn,’ I suggested. ‘It will give me a chance to tell you how the meeting went, and he can bring as much of his stuff with him as he wants.’
‘That would be good,’ Peggy said. ‘Liam and Kiri won’t be here, but Steven can see them another time.’ She paused. ‘Cathy, has Steven said anything to you about
