style="font-size:15px;"> A baby who, like her, was going to grow up never knowing her father. She still wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened. They had used protection, but that first time had been so frantic, so urgent, somehow it must have failed.
Shivering, she pulled on her clothes, trying to ignore the sudden thumping of her heart.
She could still remember the night her daughter was conceived. She doubted she would ever forget it. It was like a fever in her blood. The heat and the frenzy had faded, but the memory remained in her bones and on her skin, so that sometimes she’d catch sight of the back of a blond head and a pair of wide shoulders and would have to stop and close her eyes against the urgency of wanting him.
Ragnar Steinn.
She would never forget him either.
It would be impossible.
It would be like trying to forget the sun.
But, despite having the muscular body and clean-cut profile of a Norse god, he had shown himself to be depressingly human in his behaviour. Not only had he lied about where he was staying, and about wanting to spend the day with her, he’d sneaked off before she’d woken up.
And yet together they had made Sóley, and no amount of lies or hardship or loneliness would ever make her regret her beautiful daughter.
‘Looks like we’ve got snow coming,’ Lucas said as she walked into the tiny sitting room, holding Sóley on her hip and munching a piece of toast.
He had switched on the ancient television and was wolfing down the remains of his bacon sandwich.
Catching sight of her expression, he grinned sheepishly. ‘Sorry about the mess. Look, I’ll tidy up, I promise, and I’ll chop that wood today. Get it all stacked before the temperatures drop. Do you want me to have little Miss Sunshine?’
She shook her head. ‘No, but you could give us a lift to the station.’
‘Okay—but only if I get a cuddle.’
He held up his hands and Sóley leaned towards him, grabbing at his shirt collar. Watching her brother’s face soften Lottie felt her anger and resentment fade as he pulled the little girl into his arms, wincing as she reached for his hair and grabbed it tightly in her fist.
Unpeeling her fingers, he handed his niece a piece of banana and glanced up at his sister. ‘You couldn’t put the kettle on as you’re up—?’
Glancing at the clock on the wall, Lottie did a quick calculation in her head. There was time before she had to leave. She sighed. ‘I’ll make some tea.’
Rinsing out the teapot, she put the kettle on the stove.
‘You know, I think Sóley is a lot more with it than most kids her age,’ she heard Lucas say.
‘You do?’ Smiling, she poured water into the pot. For someone so laid-back, her brother was extremely partisan and competitive when it came to his niece.
‘Yeah—I mean, she’s watching the news like she knows what’s going on.’
‘Good. That means we can outvote you when the football’s on.’
‘No, seriously, she’s completely transfixed by this guy—Lottie, come and look.’
‘Okay, I’m coming.’
Walking back into the sitting room, she looked over to where her daughter had pulled herself up in front of the television.
Lucas was right, Sóley did seem to be fascinated. Pulling her gaze away from her daughter’s plump cheeks, Lottie glanced at the screen.
The interviewer—a woman—was gazing at the man opposite her with the same fascination as her daughter, so that for a moment Lottie only registered his blond hair and eyes that were the cool, clear blue of a glacier. Then slowly his features came into focus and she felt her mouth slide open.
It was him.
It was Ragnar.
She had wanted to find him after she’d found out she was pregnant, and then again when their daughter was born. But both of them had shut down their profiles on the dating app they’d used to meet up, and there had been no trace of any Ragnar Steinn—or at least none that looked like him—on any internet search.
Her jaw tensed. Not that it would have changed anything if she had managed to get in touch. His clumsy lies had made it clear enough that he’d only been interested in her for one night only, so he was hardly going to jump at the news that he’d fathered a child with her.
She watched mutely, ice working its way up her spine, as Sóley began patting the screen. Her heart was jumping in her chest.
‘Who is he?’ she asked. ‘I mean, why is he on TV?’
She had been aiming for offhand, but her voice sounded thin and breathless.
Thankfully, though, Lucas was too distracted to notice.
‘Ragnar Stone. He owns that dating app. Apparently he’s launching a VIP version.’
‘Dating app?’ she said woodenly. It felt as if she had stopped breathing.
She was about to ask which one, but there was no point. She already knew the answer. Only she’d thought he was like her—someone using the app to meet people. She hadn’t known that he owned it—in fact, thinking about it, she was certain that he hadn’t mentioned that to her.
‘You know—ice/breakr?’
Lucas glanced up at her, and she watched his face still as his brain caught up with his mouth.
‘Course you do…’ he said quietly.
It had been Lucas who had signed her up to the app. Lucas who had coaxed her into replying to the ‘ice breaker’ question. It could be on any topic from politics to holidays. Not all of the questions were profound, but they were designed to spark an instinctive response that apparently helped match couples more accurately than a photo and a list of likes and dislikes. She knew he felt responsible for everything that had happened, but she was too stunned and angry to dismiss his obvious guilt.
Ragnar Stone!
So he’d even lied about his name.
And he hadn’t just been using the app—he owned it.
She breathed out unsteadily, trying to absorb this new version of the facts as she’d known them, grateful that her brother’s attention was still fixed on the TV and not on her face. Grateful, too, that she hadn’t shown him Ragnar’s profile at the time.
Her skin was trembling.
‘Is he in London?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, for the launch. He’s got an office here.’ Lucas wiped Sóley’s mouth with the hem of his shirt and met her gaze. ‘One of those converted warehouses in Docklands. You know Nick?’
She
