The knowledge crackled inside her with all the force of an electrical current. It was all happening too fast. The confirmation of her pregnancy, and now this. She felt confused, as if she were in the middle of some roller-coaster ride that twisted and turned until she was completely disorientated. All she was waiting for now was its final downward, cataclysmic spin.
But maybe that wouldn’t happen, she told herself as she threw the covers of the bed back and got up. She couldn’t go through with today if she didn’t ultimately believe that things were going to work out.
Late last night as she’d climbed into bed she had phoned her sister to tell her the news. Lucy had been dumbstruck for a few moments.
‘Just because you are pregnant it doesn’t mean you have to get married!’ she’d spluttered. ‘I know our childhood was the pits, but you can’t let the past cloud your judgement for the future.’
‘Lucy, I’m being practical,’ she had told her sister calmly. ‘Bringing up a child alone will be difficult—for one thing my financial situation isn’t great; I’m still paying a huge mortgage on my flat. And Alexi is more or less demanding that we should get married. He wants this child. And he is a very powerful, influential man.’
‘You mean he is blackmailing you into marriage!’
Katie thought about that now for a moment as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Then she looked about her. In the corner was a new suitcase filled with everything she would need for a few days in Greece. Hanging inside the wardrobe was a selection of new suits for her to choose from for the wedding ceremony.
Everything had been waiting for her when she had returned down here last night. Including the nightgown she was now wearing.
She didn’t feel blackmailed, she felt as if she had been purchased, she thought wryly. As if Alexi was treating her like some concubine who was to be kept for his pleasure. Everything felt out of her hands … out of her control.
Alexi always got what he wanted, and he wanted her. But only because of the baby. Those were the facts.
It wasn’t too late to change her mind; the thought stole, unwelcome, into her head.
But the trouble was that she didn’t want to change her mind. She wanted to marry Alexi because she loved him.
She’d admitted as much to her sister before they had gone much further in the conversation last night, and Lucy had immediately relaxed.
‘Why didn’t you say so? That’s different!’
She hadn’t told her sister however that the feelings weren’t reciprocated, that Alexi just wanted his baby. The truth had been too painful to disclose even to a person as dear to her and close to her as Lucy.
She had her pride.
She felt sick suddenly and had to rush towards the en suite bathroom.
Wedding-day nerves or morning sickness? she wondered.
Was she doing the right thing?
That question had kept her awake for most of the night, and it was still zinging around inside her as she showered and then studied the clothes that had been sent down for her. The suits were all very stylish, plain, cream designer creations.
She settled on the first one she tried on because she honestly didn’t have the energy for any more decision-making. It looked good on her anyway; the jacket had a cute design with a heart-shaped neckline, and it was teamed with a straight shift-dress that flattered her shapely figure. It was formal yet low key, which seemed to be in keeping with the situation.
Someone knocked on the door just as she was putting the finishing touches to her hair and make-up, and immediately her nerves swirled in panic in case it was Alexi. It was still early! Hastily she checked the security monitor, but it was just a florist delivering a bouquet.
They were beautiful flowers, pink roses and orchids swirled in a hand-tied design. As she closed the door again she read the accompanying card:
Thought you should have some flowers to accompany you down the aisle. See you at three.
Alexi.
He couldn’t even write a lie on his card, she thought dryly, couldn’t even write the words ‘love, Alexi’.
Not that it mattered, she told herself firmly. It was better this way, better that he should be honest. She took a deep breath of the flower’s sweet perfume, trying to calm her nerves.
There was another knock at the door and she swung it open, expecting it to be some other delivery person. But this time it was Alexi who stood outside. He looked intensely and almost broodingly handsome in a dark formal suit, so much so that she could feel her system going into meltdown as soon as their eyes connected.
‘You’re early!’ she said huskily. ‘Your card said three! Are you checking up on me in case I become the runaway bride?’ She tried to make a joke, but her voice didn’t sound entirely steady.
‘Is that how you feel?’
She shrugged. ‘I feel like I’m in a bit of a daze, to be honest. It’s all happening too fast.’
His lips twisted into an attractive half-smile. ‘If it helps, I feel a bit like that, too.’
‘Is that why we are doing this so fast? In case you are tempted to change your mind?’ She frowned as the sudden thought struck her.
‘I’m not going to change my mind, Katie,’ he told her solemnly.
She felt a prickle of awareness as his eyes slowly swept over her appearance. ‘We’re doing this so fast because of the baby … and because we need time to be together and to adjust to living together before our child comes along.’
He made it all sound so practical, except for the way he was looking at her, as if he were slowly undressing her with his eyes.
‘You look lovely, by the way,’ he told her as their eyes connected again.
‘Thanks.’ She felt shy for a moment … shy and awkward.
‘So, are you going to let me come in?’ He asked with a smile. ‘Or are we going to stand out here in the corridor discussing our life?’
‘Sorry.’ She stepped back and allowed him to enter.
‘There is some paperwork you need to sign before we proceed,’ he said casually as he walked past her, and she noticed for the first time that he was carrying a folder.
‘I thought that the paperwork was signed after the ceremony,’ she said cautiously as she watched him spread the papers out on the table.
‘It’s just a standard prenuptial agreement,’ he told her nonchalantly. ‘Nothing heavy.’
She stared at him, her heart thundering uneasily against her chest. ‘I see.’
‘Don’t look at me like that, Katie. Obviously we have to have a prenuptial. It’s a prerequisite for company lawyers to protect the business.’
‘And
