time as an adult. She’d seen it in the quality of his gaze when he’d arrived to the party—it was what had made her feel so self-conscious.
Realising this had been headier than the most potent drink. An electric awareness had sprung to life between them and she’d experienced a feeling of confidence for the first time in her life. A heady female confidence. The kind of confidence she faked for photographers and on the catwalk every day. She was tired of faking it. She wanted to know it. And she’d known that the only man who could teach her—who she wanted to teach her—was standing right in front of her. She’d known if she didn’t seize the moment then, she never would. With that brand-new confidence something reckless had gripped her, and she’d stepped up to Tiarnan and boldly told him she wanted him. And then she’d kissed him.
Kate cringed now in the bed, ten years later, as it all flooded back. To have Tiarnan respond to her untutored kisses had been the most potent aphrodisiac. He’d pulled her close and she’d gone up in flames, pressing herself even closer to him. It had only been when his hand had found the hem of her dress and started to pull it up that reality had intruded for a rude moment. She’d instinctively frozen, becoming acutely aware of her lack of experience and the fact that a very aroused Tiarnan Quinn was about to make love to her. In an instant he’d pulled back and put her away from him with hard hands on her shoulders, looking down at her with glittering angry eyes.
Her heart thudded. So much had happened that night. Whatever romantic notions she might have entertained for a brief moment had been ruthlessly ripped apart within minutes.
She’d looked down, mortified and he’d ruthlessly tipped up her chin and asked brutally, ‘Kate, are you a virgin?’
The flare of colour she had felt rising in her cheeks had told him her answer as eloquently as speaking it out loud. He’d spun away towards the fire, turning his back to her for a long moment. Their breathing had been harsh in the quiet room. She could remember how loudly her heart had been beating.
In that moment while he’d turned away Kate had struggled to claw back some composure. Some semblance of dignity. The fact that he was rejecting her was blatantly obvious.
He’d finally turned back to face her, tall and proud, every line in his body rigid. Kate had forced herself to face him, and the coldly speculative gleam tinged with concern in his eyes had been an instant master class in making her realise just how naïve she’d been.
And then he’d said, ‘Kate—look. I’m not sure what just happened—hell. ‘He’d run a hand through his hair and his expletive had made her flinch. His eyes had speared her again. ‘I don’t sleep with friends of my sister. You’re just a kid, Kate, what the hell were you thinking?’
Tears had pricked behind Kate’s eyes at the unfairness of that statement. Until just moments ago he’d been with her all the way … And then for an awful moment she doubted that it had even happened the way she’d thought. Had he in fact been trying to push her away all along, and she’d been so ardent she hadn’t even noticed? A sensation of excruciating vulnerability had crawled up her spine and she’d called on every single bit of training she possessed. All the years of her mother instructing her not to show emotion, to be pretty and placid.
‘Look, Tiarnan, it’s no big deal. I just wanted …’
She’d racked her shocked and malfunctioning brain for something to say—something to make it seem as if she didn’t care. As if kissing him hadn’t been the single most cataclysmic thing that had ever happened to her. Because he was Tiarnan Quinn, and he didn’t do tender kissing scenes with his little sister’s best friend and she should have realised that …
She repeated her words and shrugged. ‘I just wanted to kiss you.’ She felt exposed and numb. Cold. ‘I wanted to lose my virginity, and you … well, I know you, and it seemed—’
Tiarnan had jerked back as if shot, staring down at her with eyes as cold as ice. ‘What? As if I’d do because I was handy and available? You don’t pull your punches, Kate …’
His face was stonily impenetrable. ‘Do you know, it’s funny,’ he said, almost to himself. ‘I might have actually assumed for a moment that you were different …’ He shook his head. ‘But women never cease to amaze me. Even an innocent like you.’
He’d come close, making a violent tremor go through her whole body, before he’d casually picked up his dinner jacket from where she had pushed it off his shoulders onto the floor. His voice had been so cold it had made her shiver, her hands clench tight.
‘Go and find yourself a boy your own age, Kate. He’ll be much more gentle and understanding than I ever could be.’
And then he’d cupped her chin with his big hand, forcing her gaze upwards to his. She’d gritted her jaw against his fingers.
‘And when you’ve finished with him, go easy on the others … you’re undoubtedly a consummate seductress in the making. I’ve already met the mature version of the woman you’ll undoubtedly become.’
And within a scant week of that soul-destroying little speech, before Kate had had time to gather the tattered shreds of her dignity, news had broken of Tiarnan’s impending parenthood with his South American ex-girlfriend. Rumours had abounded of upcoming nuptials, which had shortly afterwards been confirmed. Evidently his most recent association with the dark beauty Stella Rios had resulted in more than a kiss goodbye. And, even more evidently, renowned playboy and bachelor Tiarnan Quinn was happy to settle down overnight and avoid the clumsy moves of a woman like her.
Kate sighed. Raking up the past was no help, but the memories were still so fresh, the hurt still like a deep raw wound. That night she’d attempted to play with fire and had been badly burnt. She’d been shocked at how deeply Tiarnan’s cynicism had run. His easy cruelty had dealt her a harsh first lesson in allowing herself to be vulnerable. And the fact that he’d read her so wrong had hurt more than she could say.
When would she ever be free of his hold over her? Especially now that he’d made it obvious he still desired her? At least before she hadn’t had to contend with being the target of Tiarnan’s attention … and she knew how determined he could be. He hadn’t made his fortune and become one of the most influential men in the world through lack of determination. Now that he knew her weakness for him he would pursue her with single-mindedness until she gave in. Until she was powerless before him.
A flutter of traitorous excitement snuck into her belly, cancelling out the knot of tension even as Kate tried to reject the accompanying thought—a mere dark whisper of a suggestion: What if she gave in? She immediately rejected the audacious thought outright, aghast that her sense of pride had even let it surface.
But it wouldn’t go, staying and growing bigger in her mind with obstinate persistence. And with it came an awful feeling of rightness, of inevitability. A surge of desire flared in the pit of her belly, between her legs, all the stronger because she’d been so desperately suppressing it.
But what if she looked at it as Tiarnan was so obviously looking at it? He had no idea she’d never really got over that night—had no idea and never would know that he’d hurt her so deeply. He had no idea that she’d all but believed herself to have become frigid. And he had no idea that last night had proved to her that she wasn’t frigid; she was just inexplicably bound to one man. Him. A playboy who could never give her the stability she needed, who would undoubtedly hurt her all over again.
Kate clenched her fists, a sense of anger rising at his implicit power over her. Maybe she
