Stop. I can’t know more right now. And to think I was hoping that this talk would make things better between us.”
“It has,” she said, putting her hand on his, so small and fragile to his eyes now. So breakable. He should’ve been there to protect her. He should’ve been there to make sure that Brad damned well knew he should give his date the damned leathers anytime he took them out on his motorcycle.
“Liam, I put you into a no-win situation. There was nothing you could’ve done right in that situation. Even if you’d done what I wanted, it’s unlikely that things would’ve been good between us now. My rewind fantasies also included how later, after you’d come to your senses, you came after me. Sometimes with gifts.”
He wanted to put his arm around her again and know that as long as she stayed by him he could keep her safe.
He pulled his hand free instead. “Those are normal girl fantasies.”
“No, I mean quintessential boyfriend gifts. Like flowers, candy, and a kitten in one hand and a puppy in the other. Do you see what I’m getting at?”
“That you had relationship feelings.” It had never just been about sex. She’d had relationship feelings, she’d wanted him to be the first. And now? It was worse, because his mind was exactly in the same place.
Hell.
“Right.”
“Again, how does that make things better?”
“Because they’re another example of my being irrational and sentimental. You were living away at that time. I was about to go to college at the other end of the state.” She dropped her hand into her lap and once again the oversized shoulders of his jacket rose. “It’s okay. I got over it. I met someone else.”
“Brad.”
“Brad,” she repeated. “And then we broke up, and I met Austin. And then—”
“Stop. Please. I don’t need your dating CV.”
“Because this is not a date?” she prompted, grinning at him finally. “I feel better. I do. You shouldn’t feel badly about events you had nothing to do with.”
He felt badly about the event he had had something to do with. “If I had taken you aside and said I want you but we can’t do this, it would have been better. Because then I could’ve been there to make sure Brad knew what I’d do to him if he hurt you.”
“You assume that one change would have changed everything. Maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe it would’ve made everything worse. I know for sure what you telling me that would’ve done. It would have led to me upping my game.”
“Grace, your game started with you at my front door in your underwear.”
“No. My game started long before that, but then you went away and I got desperate. That was my big plan when you came back to visit. It was my grand gesture.” She pushed the plate away and then flattened her hands against the tabletop. “I thought if I stopped beating around the bush, once you knew I wanted you, you’d be all for it. Everyone says teenage boys will have sex with any girl they find remotely attractive if offered the chance. I thought once the chance was offered, that the underwear would make you want me, and then everything would fall into place and they all lived happily ever after...”
“No reflection on your attractiveness, but that’s not how it works. At least not for me.”
“I figured that out later. But my point is that if then you had already wanted me and were just being rational? What eighteen-year-old girl do you know who cares about being rational when feelings are in the way? Heck, I barely care about rational now and I’ve supposedly had six years to grow up since then.”
The waiter came, the dessert between them was only half-eaten, and he’d lost his appetite for the chocolate-strawberry confection. “Check, please.” He nodded toward the jacket and said, “My wallet is in the pocket with the phone.”
“No,” Grace interjected before the waiter could get away. “Two checks.”
Because this wasn’t a date.
There had been moments when it had felt date-like, and then everything had gone pear-shaped.
The waiter looked at Liam for confirmation before he went to split the order.
She frowned, but didn’t keep on with the subject. Instead, she slid the jacket off and handed it to him. “Thank you for the loan of the jacket. Mind if I visit the ladies while he sorts the checks out?”
“It’s that way.” He gestured and scooted back around to his side of the booth as she departed the table.
Before he moved to LA proper to start chasing the dream, he’d known about the boys who’d called Grace, and the few that she had tried—and quietly succeeded—in making him jealous of. He probably owed her for teaching him to hide that emotion, even though the ability had abandoned him tonight.
He called his driver and had him ready the car and pull around to get them. The waiter brought the checks before Grace returned, and Liam paid both of them.
When Grace came back he stood with his cane and offered her his elbow again. “Checks?”
“Paid,” he muttered, and added, “I don’t want to fight about the check. The restaurant was my decision, and you’re here as my employee, right? It’s not a date. It’s not two friends having dinner together. It was my responsibility. And I tipped him well for his trouble. Clear?”
She didn’t take his elbow, but walked ahead of him through the restaurant for the door.
He’d known she’d had a crush on him when they’d still been in high school. Idiot though he may have been, he had been love-deprived enough that he’d developed a keen way of detecting it in every incarnation. And if he was honest with himself, that was probably a big part of the draw of his occupation. He’d gone from having very few he could claim who loved him to having thousands, to having millions. He’d gone from the unwanted son of dead junkies to the man on top of every producer’s wish list.
He could identify a lot of emotions on sight—studying body language to improve his acting had come with other benefits. He could tell the difference between fondness of friends, adoration of fans, and when past girlfriends were getting Too Close to Love—aka Time to Break Up. He knew the difference between the way his parents had looked at him the times they hadn’t been looking through him, and the way the Watsons had always looked at him—loving and always a little worried about him.
He could identify love in its many flavors.
But apparently he sucked at spotting a virgin.
* * *
Liam had claimed he’d wanted honesty and to clear the air. Obviously he hadn’t thought that through.
Grace was just trying to be completely honest, because all her instincts said to lie about the whole ordeal. Protect herself. But when her instincts were the most selfish, that’s when she did her best to ignore them. Do the opposite. Do the hard thing if it could help someone else.
Protect Liam. Absolve him of
