sit there smugly making your analysis? An analysis that will no doubt help you feel so much better about your own comparatively trivial disappointments.’
Stricken, Layla rose slowly to her feet and folded her arms over the pretty diaphanous blouse Drake had taken such pleasure in seeing her wearing. ‘We’re not having a competition about who’s suffered the most, Drake. All I wanted to do … all I hoped to do was get to know you a little, so that you wouldn’t feel the need to be anyone other than yourself … your real self … around me. Yes, we’ve all had sadness and disappointment in our lives—and some of us, like you, have experienced dreadfully unhappy childhoods … But that doesn’t mean we should be ashamed of our pasts or try to hide them. Sometimes it’s our most challenging and difficult experiences that help us evolve into the compassionate and thoughtful people we are.’
‘Is that how you felt when your unscrupulous ex-boss fleeced you of your life savings … compassionate?’
Hearing the almost cruel mockery in Drake’s tone, Layla hugged her arms over her chest even more, needing to protect herself. Had she pushed him too far and too soon in getting him to talk about his past? What if her kindly meant questioning to get him to open up a little about himself so that they might forge a closer bond had done nothing but turn him against her and made him suspicious of her motives? If they didn’t have trust then they had nothing worth having at all.
‘No,’ she replied. ‘I didn’t feel remotely compassionate towards him. I was too busy blaming him for cheating me and blaming myself for being an idiot for trusting him in the first place … for being so gullible in trusting my savings to his little scheme and for letting him seduce me.’
‘He got you drunk.’
Unhappily she nodded her head. ‘Yes, but I let him. I could have said no to him, but he was a charmer and I fell under his spell. Anyway, that aside, after some time had gone by I definitely felt as though I’d learned a lesson I’d never forget. For a start, I’d have loved to give the money I had to Marc, to help the business. As for my boss, I know that if he carries on cheating people like he does then inevitably life will teach him an invaluable lesson. A lesson that will hopefully make him reflect on his behaviour and stop him seeking to advance himself by exploiting anyone else.’ She chewed thoughtfully down on her lip, then smiled uncertainly. ‘At least that’s my hope.’
Drake started to pace the polished wooden floor, the expression in his fascinating grey eyes suggesting they were reaching internally for some longed-for escape route … perhaps a time warp that could transport them back to the moment when he’d first walked into the room with their coffee, when he might have told Layla he’d changed his mind about having their little discussion.
All her instincts cried out for her to go to him and hold him tight, to tell him how courageous he’d been to reveal the cruelties of his childhood, but sensing he was still tormented by his frank and painful admission she stayed where she was, not wanting to risk upsetting him further.
Coming to a sudden standstill, he swept his still restless gaze up and down her figure. ‘What made you decide to take the contraceptive in the end?’ he asked.
‘Why? Did you think I wouldn’t take it and just pretend that I did?’
‘No. I never thought you’d try and deceive me. I just …’
‘What, Drake? I’m sensing there’s something you want to ask me.’
‘When you think about the future, do you ever think about having children?’
Breathing out a relieved sigh, Layla couldn’t help smiling. ‘Of course … One day I’d love to be a mum.’
‘One day when the “right man” comes along, presumably?’
Now his voice was rough-edged and cynical and it made her heart bleed.
‘If by the right man you mean a man that I love with all my heart and want to be with for the rest of my life, then, yes … that’s when I’ll be ready to become a mum.’
Drake’s eyes bored into her like a laser. ‘My ex-girlfriend wanted children.’
‘She did?’
‘That was one of the reasons we broke up. She wanted them and I didn’t. And, more importantly, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with her, so there was no way I’d make her the mother of my children. When I explained my reasons to her as diplomatically as I could, apart from accusing me of being emotionally crippled and totally insensitive for not understanding her desire for marriage and children, she said I was the most spectacularly selfish man she’d ever met and didn’t doubt that I’d end up alone.’
Layla’s heart bumped with sorrow and dread as she waited for him to continue.
A corner of his mouth quirked painfully. ‘She was right.’
‘Sometimes it helps us to have clarity when we know what we don’t want,’ she commented softly, the dread she’d felt inside that he might have stated that he would never want marriage or children slowly and thankfully subsiding.
‘It does indeed.’
‘So how do you feel about having children if you—if you meet the right woman?’
‘It would definitely be something I’d consider.’ He gave her a sheepish look. ‘I used to think I’d never want a family. Maybe it’s my age, but now I don’t think I’d be as closed to the idea as I was before. Shall we leave it at that and get out of here for a while?’
The glimmer of some unspoken urgent idea was evident in Drake’s animated gaze, and apart from what he’d just revealed about the possibility of being open to the notion of having children it made Layla’s heart race.
‘Why? Where do you want to go?’
‘I’ve heard that it’s going to be an exceptionally clear night. I’d like to take you to my office and show you that view of the stars through the glass roof.’
Remembering how surprised and moved she’d been when he’d told her that he sometimes turned out the lights if he was working late and the stars were bright, she felt a genuine thrill of anticipation.
‘All right,’ she agreed, smiling, ‘I’ll go and get my coat.’
‘Layla?’
‘Yes?’
‘I didn’t mean it when I accused you of being smug earlier. I was just … I was just angry that you got me to talk about that stuff. But now—now I’m glad that you did.’
Walking up to him, she gently touched his unshaven cheek with the tips of her fingers and tenderly laid her lips over his mouth. Straight away she sensed the heat they stoked into flame between them—but before she let it consume her, she lifted her head and told him, ‘I think you telling me about your childhood was the bravest thing I’ve ever heard.’
His arms tightened possessively round her waist. ‘You’re good for my ego, you know that?’
Her eyes were already drifting closed, even before his lips made the fire they’d started to kindle a moment ago burst into uncontrollable flame …
