the engine till she was as happy as she could be with it and then she took a cab back to the hotel.
She was ready simply to go to bed and to do her best not to think of what Matteo was up to now that she had let him off the hook.
Abby climbed out of the cab, wondering if she could be bothered to get room service. The moment she walked into the foyer though, there was Matteo walking with Kedah, both looking like the two playboys they intended to be tonight.
Clearly they were just heading out.
Matteo had shaved and was wearing a suit and had that arrogant, rich gleam in his eye and he was, Abby knew, about to exercise his right to get royally laid.
‘Abby?’ He frowned as she passed them and he saw that she was alone. ‘Where’s Pedro?’
‘In bed, where he’s supposed to be before a race!’ Abby angrily answered. ‘Don’t ever mess with my team and tell them what to do. You were supposed to be hands off, remember!’
‘I was just...’
‘Well, don’t! It’s not your job to look out for me and neither do you have the right to interfere with Pedro’s build-up to the race.’
A car was waiting for them in the forecourt and as Kedah climbed in he waved to Matteo to get a move on.
‘Your friend’s waiting for you,’ Abby said. ‘Have a great night, Matteo.’
She just brushed past him, loathing herself for the anger and jealousy that had shot from her lips. He didn’t deserve any of that. They had agreed to no-strings sex and she had been the one that had backed out.
What the hell was he supposed to do? Abby thought as she closed the door to her room and stripped off her greasy overalls.
She ran a bath and, as it filled, sat at her desk, trying to type up the adjustments she had made to the car but the figures all blurred before her eyes. There were emails she had to answer about order of events for after the race but all she could think about was Matteo and where he was right now. Then she suddenly remembered the bath.
Thank God for the overflow, Abby thought, and then she climbed in the overfull bath and cried.
For him.
For them.
And for the wish that she had at least slept with him.
Once.
Her first because, if not technically, Matteo would have been her first, and the way she felt about him it felt right that it be him.
It was his lack of feelings for her that hurt.
She lay in the bath and let the hot water relax her and over and over she topped it up and tried not to think about Matteo and Kedah in some sordid hot tub.
Bastard!
Except he wasn’t.
He had been completely lovely with her.
She got out of the bath and it was close to one and she knew that she had to be up at five and was just about to take her robe off and climb into bed when there was a knock at the door.
And despite brave words that she was fine without a bodyguard, Abby felt a prickle of fear.
Matteo was out, Pedro would be asleep. She knew that because he was always in bed by seven the night before a race.
The knock sounded again and she was sweating, Abby realised. Her legs wouldn’t move and she just stared at the door, too frozen to go to the peephole and see who it was.
‘Abby?’
She just about dropped in relief when she heard Matteo’s voice and wrenched open the door.
He saw her terror.
‘I thought...’
‘Sorry, sorry...’ He took her straight in his arms. ‘I should have called.’
‘I thought you were on the yacht.’
‘I couldn’t get it up.’
He was so crude and yet he made her laugh.
‘I didn’t even try,’ he admitted and then, because he was holding her, because they had missed each other, for even as his mouth moved to hers Abby was reaching for him and they kissed intensely, hurriedly, before logic moved in, before they thought of the many reasons they should not. His arm curled around her waist as he pulled her in. The fear that had gripped her turned to angry passion and as she kissed him back Abby pushed Matteo’s jacket down and it fell to the floor. She didn’t care about tomorrow when she could have tonight. ‘Abby...’ She was opening the buttons to his shirt, her mind made up, yet Matteo refused to give her even a moment to regret and he peeled his mouth away. ‘I need to tell you something.’
‘You don’t.’
They were panting, both breathless, and she didn’t need to hear now that he didn’t love her and never would.
‘Abby,’ Matteo said. ‘You do deserve better than this.’
She did, because he was hard and his hands were bunched into the gown so as not to tear it off and they could be over and done with—Abby up against the wall, he could be taking her now—but he would not allow another morning between them like the last one, where the air was awkward and the conversation wooden. He would not do that to her.
‘We need to talk.’
‘Said the playboy.’ And then she saw that he was in as much of a mess as she, Abby realised. ‘Matteo, I don’t need to hear it. I know we’re going nowhere.’
‘And I’m trying to tell you why it has to be that way.’
It was possibly the most responsible decision in his life and regrettable at that because there was so much energy and want between them that it felt almost criminal to pull back. His shirt was undone and damp from her wet hair but he took a seat beside the desk as Abby straightened out her robe and then took a seat at the desk in front of her laptop. ‘It’s like a doctor’s visit,’ he said and she smiled but they were both hurting so much that their smiles didn’t last. ‘I know you should be asleep but I needed to say this. I really do have to leave tomorrow straight after the race so if I don’t say it now...’
‘Are you drunk?’
‘A bit.’ He nodded. ‘Look, you know how everyone says, “It’s not you, it’s me”?’ he said and now Abby really smiled.
‘Well, in this case it is me,’ she said. ‘I have more baggage...’
‘No,’ Matteo interrupted. ‘It really is me.’ He took a breath before continuing. He had never fully had this conversation in his head, let alone with another. ‘I made a decision a few years ago...’
‘You don’t have to do this, Matteo,’ Abby said because she could see his discomfort and reluctance to reveal more of himself.
‘I
