don’t think I can answer all of your questions.”
“You’re going to. I’m going to start now. Who is Isabelle Harrington to you? Why did you need this scandal for her? What was so important that you came from New York to Surhaadi on the promise of a stranger?”
There was no harm in saying so now. Or maybe there was. Or maybe there had never been. She couldn’t tell anymore. All she knew was that she was tired, tired of dishonesty. Tired of the dull pain in her chest. Tired of how unfair life was.
“Isabelle was the only person who made friends with me when I went to college. She didn’t mind that I was younger, she didn’t mind that I had come from nothing, that my family name wasn’t important. She got me my job at the Herald—I lost that today, by the way—and she needed me.”
“Why?”
“Because I made my boss mad.”
“No, why did Isabelle need you? Why does it require you to get a scandal attached to the Chatsfield name. Because that’s why you did this, isn’t it? I need to know.”
“Yes, I did it for her. Spencer...Spencer Chatsfield. He’s harassing her about buying The Harrington, right out from under her. The hotel is everything to her. And if you knew what Spencer had done to her...Spencer hurt her. Badly. And now he wants to take this from her, too. I swore I wouldn’t let it happen. I swore to her I would help her with the tools I had, the tools that she gave to me. My job. You can understand why I needed to do this. Why I would go with you, why I would skulk around in an alley. Because I needed to. Because I owe Isabelle so much.”
He nodded gravely, and closed the distance between them, tugging her into his arms and kissing her hard, deep on the mouth. She tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him back, her foot brushing the ladybug planter to the side as she moved in closer.
When they parted, she blinked, breathing hard. “Why would you do that?”
“A scandal is going to hit the paper today. I am sorry if it adversely affects your friend, but I cannot be sorry if it varies the headline about my sister.”
“What have you done, Zayn?”
“I’m going to make an announcement later today that my wedding has been canceled.”
“You canceled your wedding? Permanently...or is this just a way for you to protect Leila?”
“It is certainly a pleasant side effect. But I actually called off the wedding some days ago. Just before you left. Before we last spoke.”
“What?” she asked, her lips numb, her fingers icy. “You did what?”
“I called off the wedding.”
“I’m glad,” she said, reaching to pick up the box from the pavement. Standing up, she stiffened her spine, looking straight ahead, her heart hammering, fingers stiff around the edges of the box. “Because you deserve better than that. You do. You deserve so much more than a loveless marriage. You both do.”
“You were right about that,” he said, his voice rough. “I was punishing myself, using Christine as...part of that. It was unfair of me. And you were brave. You asked for everything from life. While I was still protecting myself. Still paying penance for the sins of my past. I was going to make everyone else pay with me. I was going to make Christine pay. I was going to bind us both to an unhappy union. I realized that I could not do that. Not to her. Not to me.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you kissed me. I thought you hated me. For what I had done.”
“You did it for a friend. You did it to protect someone you love. Part of me knew it had to be something like this. Because I know you. I know you didn’t just do it to hurt me, or to further your career. I know you didn’t do it lightly. I knew the woman that I love wouldn’t do something like that.”
“You...you love me?”
“Yes. In spite of myself. In spite of all this. I do. And it makes me want. It makes me want things I didn’t think I ever would. It makes me want more. More than an endless, blank desert of life stretching out before me. It makes me want color. Laughter. It makes me want you.”
“I can’t believe you ended your engagement for me... I...I...”
“Sophie, I have to tell you...I called Colin Fairfax. He mentioned a trade. A tape. I know you didn’t do this simply to get a scandal. I know there was more. And it isn’t only because of what he said, but because I knew in my gut, in my heart, that you were the woman I fell for out in the desert. I knew that was truly who you were and I think I would have come for you no matter what.”
“Really?”
“I have a bad habit of kidnapping you.”
She laughed, a sniffly, watery sound.
“Sophie....what was the tape? I need to know.”
She wanted to protect him from this. Didn’t want to do anything to destroy the moment, but she owed him honesty. Because she refused to hide herself from him. Refused to hide anything from him.
“I feel like...I do need to tell you this,” she said, the words coming out slowly. “Because I want you to know something. Because I want you to understand that as much as I love Isabelle...I wouldn’t have told about Leila and James if I didn’t have to. Because I love you, Zayn. I love you more than anything or anyone. I would have chosen you. I would have chosen your family. It’s more than just a trade, it’s all of that. And since you know about the recording...I need you to know that.”
She took a shaky breath and continued. “My boss called after I got back to my room and told me he had a recording. He says he got it from Damien’s father. He...he played some of it for me. It’s a recording of you. Of your last altercation with Jasmine. He was going to release it, and I offered him a trade. And to ensure he kept his word...I sort of blackmailed him and threatened to tell his wife he’s been cheating. Well, and then he fired me. But the thing is, I didn’t want you to know about the tape. I don’t want you to ever hear it. I didn’t want it...I didn’t want it out there. Because you have to understand that no matter how sad it is that your last moment with your sister was a bad one, you didn’t force her to make the decision she did. We all make our own choices. I made this one. To protect you. And I sort of sacrificed Leila to do it, and I know you never would have. But that was my choice. You. Always you.”
* * *
Zayn’s heart felt full. Like it would burst. Pain, grief and a strange release were rising in him like a tide.
He had come back for her. But this...this was beyond anything he had imagined.
And yes, it brought about the pain of that day. Knowing there was a recording of those angry words spoken between them, a tape he would never need to hear because he could replay it in his mind without error.
“I do not...I do not deserve this,” he said. It was all he could say, all he could think.
“You’ve saved everyone else, why won’t you let someone save you?” she asked, the words so innocent, so perfect, he could hardly accept them. Could hardly accept that she was real. That she had seen him, and still wanted him. That she knew his darkest secrets, and still
